Darker London-Uncover what is underneath...

It was Danny's first time out since he'd been at Priory and before then he wasn't exactly hitting the town every night. The trip to Robert MacGavillary Memorial Hospital felt strange and by the time they arrived, Danny was just glad to be inside again.

Having arrived early, Danny sat in the waiting room, willing his friends to show up soon. He couldn't get his mind off what he was about to do. He hadn't told any of his friends his plan because he knew they would stop him. It involved getting closer to Greg than he ever hoped to be again, and just the thought of it was weighing on him. He hoped it would work out and he could get the information he needed. Without it, this was all going to be for nothing.

It was Rachel's birthday and Danny decided that all the things he was worried about didn't matter. Today he was going to spoil his girlfriend and he wasn't going to even think about her drinking, or the fact that he was terrified about money, or having to go to court and face Greg again. The rest of the world could fuck off today. Today he was going to spoil her rotten.

Despite the fact that a few of the nurses had protested, Danny had managed to set himself up in his wheelchair. He was fairly sure he was going to pay for it the next day, but this was important to him. He had even managed to get dressed, though not as snazzy as he wanted to be. He settled on jeans and a tuxedo t-shirt he hoped would make Rachel laugh.

With the help of Dr Abby, Cai and Zoe, he decorated his hospital room with battery-operated fairy lights and several colour-changing LED candles because he knew Rachel liked bright things.

It was all ready now, the presents resting on the bed and the music cued up. Nerves unsettled his stomach as he waited for her to arrive. All he wanted in the world right now was to make Rachel happy.

Danny was on his fourth hour of a Britain's Got Talent marathon, and wondering just how long before the urge to die would return with a vengeance. He was still tied down, the staff not trusting him for a second when he said he wasn't going to try to kill himself again. At least he could still work the telly since the remote was within reach, right beside the call button.

( Conversations )

After twelve hours of life-saving surgery, during which Danny tried to die a grand total of four more times, Danny was pronounced if not out of the woods, at least stable. He was being kept in intensive care, his body full of tubes, a breathing mask over his face. He would stay there until he was well enough to be moved into the psych ward, but that could take a while; possibly weeks.

Danny finally woke up, twenty-seven hours after electrocuting himself, his body too weak to move. Even if he had had the ability to do so, his arms and legs had been restrained, lest he be upset about the fact that he wasn't dead, and try again.

His eyes rested on a fuzzy image of the doctor as the woman explained there had been damage to his heart and one day he would likely need a transplant. His brain felt heavy and slow and he didn't even remember what had happened, so it was hardly surprising that he couldn't comprehend that he had irreparably damaged his body.

Somewhere in the middle of the woman's explanation, Danny fell asleep again. A few hours later he woke up again, his eyes focusing on the other people in the room; the only people allowed to visit him in the ICU, his family. "Mm. Hey," he muttered to them, his tongue refusing to work right, and the words were further muffled by the oxygen mask on his face. "Ev'rything hurts."

Night was the worst time for Danny. After visiting hours had concluded and his mother wasn't allowed in his room any more, Danny would lie on his bed and struggle to stay awake. Sleep brought dreams and dreams brought Danny right back into the clutches of Greg. Sleep was supposed to be relaxing and regenerative but all it gave Danny was yet more horror.

( Missing Melissa )

Since waking up, Danny hadn't allowed anyone other than his mother and Zoe in to see him. He did feel guilty keeping his girlfriend and his brother out, but there was a part of him which just didn't want to see the pity and pain on their faces when they finally laid eyes on him.

Zoe had been there to see what Greg had done to him firsthand, though there was more to it too. Danny saw Zoe as fiercely strong, whether she saw herself that way or not. He worried that he might have to pretend to be okay for Cai and Rachel, while he knew he didn't have to act for Zoe and he didn't have the energy to try anyway.

He had to face them sometime, however, especially since he was fairly sure Cai and Rachel had been waiting outside his room from time to time, as if keeping some kind of silent vigil for him. Danny was still struggling with whether he wanted to stay alive or not, as well. Could he really leave them without giving them a chance to see him? He didn't think he could.

Hesitantly, Danny told the nurse his friends were allowed in. He told his mother he wanted to see them on his own, however, though he had a feeling she was going to hover right outside his door. He was really okay with that. Then he steeled himself for their reactions to the state he was still in. He knew he looked terrible. He felt terrible. His hopes were that they felt better than he did.

When Danny is finally left alone, he tries his hardest to do anything other than think about food. Unfortunately for him, he's never really been good at shutting things out, and as he lies with his back to the mattress, one leg chained to the foot of Greg's bed, food is the only thing on his mind. He remembers honey glazed ham for Christmas dinner, and warm, sickly sweet cinnamon rolls, still steaming from the oven. He remembers with bittersweet fondness picking at spicy nachos on Cai's plate and sharing delicious, moist cakes from Mariposa. God, he even misses picking honeysuckle in the spring and sucking the sweet dew out of the plant before using the flower as a projectile, always aimed at his sister's face before she throws her own back at him as she laughs. That cloying, sugary on his lips right now would be bliss.

( Hunger and Guilt )