darker_london | Horror (Thomas, Abby, Spectre, Mary)

Amaris was going to kill him. Thomas knew that now. She would be the death of him. His escape back to his family had been a dream. He had never left that dank hole in the middle of nowhere. Morgana and Jeremy hadn't found him. He was still there. That was why he hadn't gained weight even through the best efforts Peter's hospital, Deirdre and his spouses had. His mind had come up with a delusion to explain his continued starvation. Some bullshit reason like his metabolism had sped up. He knew it was utter crap, but part of him was thankful for it. He was thankful for the delusion. The compensation. Anything was better than the truth. That no matter how long he held out, Amaris was going to finish him off in the end. No one knew he was missing. Aurelia wasn't dead. She was still pretending to be him. Still enjoying the hospitality of his loved ones in his place. His safety was an illusion. All just a dream.

He felt her there, beyond the edges of his vision, watching him from the shadows like the monsters of childhood who lurked in closets and under beds. Amaris. She was worse than any of his nightmares had been then. The worst thing he had feared in his childhood had been monsters of a Maurice Sendak ilk. Now he knew what evil really existed in the world, and it was a far cry from the innocent manifestations of a childhood fear of the dark. He was firmly rooted where the wild things really are. He couldn't escape his demons. Amaris was relentless. She took everything from you when she set her sights on you, and she laid your life to ruin in her wake.

Thomas shifted, uncomfortable, feeling the rough rock of the cement floor on his back. The bones of his shoulderblades jutted from his back, having nothing now but a thin layer of sickly skin to protect them from the rough surface of the floor. And even his skin had deep gashes in it from when he had fallen, hours ago. Thomas tried to roll onto his side, but something stopped him and he didn't know if he was tied down, or he simply didn't have the energy to follow through anymore. Perhaps it would be today. Perhaps today would be the day he died.

Around Thomas, everything was normal. He was safe at home, stuck not in a dream state, but somewhere between that and awake. Abby bustled into his room, and she checked his vitals, not noticing that her brother was lost to reality, mired in his worst nightmare by an anchor there was no precedent for.

Footsteps resounded across the barren room, echoing off the walls and sounding so loud in Thomas' ears that they could have been the noises of a nearby blitzkrieg headed his way. And like the damning noise of exploding bombs growing ever louder, Thomas knew this meant his approaching doom. He froze, his breathing little more than tiny gasps, his eyes wide and terrified. And then she completely filled his vision from above. There was nothing else. Thomas stared straight upwards, and Amaris was his sky.

"Don't hurt me." Thomas begged, his voice weak and pitiful. He was beyond pain and trauma. Beyond anger and hate. And still he knew she had so many more ways to hurt him at her disposal. Artful almost in their creativity and execution, though the outcome would be the same in the end. Hallucinations of home and safety wouldn't save him forever. "Please..."

"Make it worth my while." Amaris smiled cruelly at him and then she turned her head, as if bored, to inspect her perfect fingernails which were laquered the colour of fresh blood. "Sweeten the deal, Zombie. I'm sick of just hearing you scream. I'm thinking of trading you in for a toy who isn't so worn out. I get so bored when you break. Maybe your son. Or that pathetic, rock-star wanna be husband of yours. Or your sister. That bitch. Abigail is it?"

"No!" Thomas shouted with the only strength he had. The force of his refusal ripped his breath out of him and he coughed and gasped to try and reclaim it. "Not them."

"Would you rather me move on to someone else then?" Amaris asked, her eyebrows raised. "The blond girl who tried to defy me perhaps?"

Thomas' shadowed eyes narrowed into slits. Paige? Surely she was dead. He hadn't held out hope for her after Amaris had caught her trying to escape. Amaris was not a merciful person and he didn't think for a moment that Paige would have been extended an inch of what little pity Amaris might be capable of. "You killed her."

"Not yet, Thomas. But I can, if that would please you? Or I could bring someone in from the street. A random innocent bystander. Would you like me to turn your punishment on them?" Amaris smile never wavered and Thomas felt cold dread in his stomach every time he cast his eyes upon it. He didn't answer. Fear held his tongue in a vice grip and love for his family was the only thing strong enough to break it. Thomas would not cry out for someone he didn't love. He used to be a hero. Someone who would risk all he had for anyone. Now the rest of the world was on their own. After weeks of starvation and torture, after being subjected to electrical shock and being strung up by his arms, being cut and bled and burned, Thomas had had enough.

"Interesting." Amaris raised her eyebrows. "The heroic zombie does have a limit to his endurace. I knew I would find it eventually."

Thomas looked away from her, unable to stand the shame she was heaping on him. Surely anyone would understand. Wouldn't they make the same choice under so much torture? Or was he really just a failure and nothing more. Had he ever been anything but?

Hours passed. Abby had long since left Thomas' side, believing that he was finally sleeping deeply enough to repair some of the damage that was done him. Eventually Thomas had been joined by his husband and wife who held him tightly as they slept, never knowing that he now believed they were manifestations of his tortured mind brought only to comfort him in the face of his inevitable death.

"I suppose I could force you to watch as I punished someone in your place. You could hear their screams and know that at least they weren't yours. That they were brought on by you." Amaris pondered. "Never took you for someone who would let a person suffer in your place. I like it. I'm so proud of you, Zombie."

"I hate you." There was no force behind his words and the second they had left his lips, Thomas burst into tears. His face crumpled and he stared up at her in misery. "I hate you so much." He couldn't move his body. There was hardly any life left in it. But he could cry. He had tears enough for that, and enough anguish that it could last for days. If he had days left. "I hate you." His voice resounded with defeat.

Amaris didn't much care what Thomas felt about her, but she wasn't going to let him get away with saying such things anyway. She lashed out, kicking him roughly in the side. Thomas let out a strangled cry and he managed to turn tohis side then, in torment, to protect it. Amaris kicked him repeatedly in his already aching stomach, adding injury to insult, showing no mercy at all-

A scream ripped from Thomas' throat, even in the midst of his delusion. He was perfectly still in the bed, terrified that if he moved, it would be worse. That Amaris would break his bones or his neck. But the scream he couldn't keep inside no matter how hard he tried.

Current Mood: Insane

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The scream was enough to wake both Spectre and Mary. Spectre was a light sleeper, and Mary didn't need it as much as the average, living person. "Thomas!" Spectre was the first to speak, adjusting his grip so as not to be restraining Thomas too much, but still hoping to keep him from thrashing about so much that he'd rip his IV out. "Thomas, wake up! It's just a nightmare."

"It's all right, Thomas, we're here," Mary added in her soft, calm way. It immediately occurred to her that the nightmare might be of supernatural origin, but that was something they could figure out later.

Thomas' eyes snapped open and his screaming quieted. He stared at Spectre and Mary, fear evident behind his eyes. His breathing didn't slow, and he moved his hands to cover his stomach as if he had been injured and he now hurt. He didn't say anything. This was a delusion, after all, though he was relieved that his mind had taken him back here and away from Amaris' onslaught. Thomas continued to stare at Spectre and Mary in silence, looking fearful.

Edited Date: 2009-02-19 12:03 am (UTC)

Thomas covered his stomach, and immediately Spectre felt a pang of sympathy, as he was quite familiar with hunger himself from his childhood. He ran his fingers through Thomas' hair lovingly. "I'll get you something to eat, okay honey? Mary will be here until I get back."

"It's okay," Mary reiterated soothingly, and she took Thomas' hand now that he was awake and less likely to be frightened by anything they did. It didn't take a genius to guess what his nightmares had probably been about. "You can relax now, baby. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Thomas watched Spectre disappear and then he turned his haunted eyes back to Mary. "You'll only disappear again." He whispered, appearing slightly conspiratorial.

"Eventually, I'll have to," Mary said, with regret in her features. "But I'll only be gone for a few days. I want to be here to support you as much as possible. And I'm always with you, Thomas. Always watching." She leaned down and kissed his forehead.

Thomas flinched away as Mary kissed him, terrified that just the simple pleasure of his wife's lips on his skin was enough to snap him back to the terrifying reality he knew was awaiting him. "I know you're watching." Thomas whispered. "I wish you could really help me..."

Mary frowned, because Thomas was acting a little weird, but she didn't try to pursue him as he flinched away. "I wish it too. But you will get better with time. We're all making sure of it. You don't have to be afraid." Something wasn't right here, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She just had to comfort Thomas until it became more apparent...

Thomas' eyes travelled up to meet Mary's, his own wide with fear. "I am afraid." His voice was hushed and his grip on his stomach tightened. "Afraid of when I have to go back."

"To the Beyond?" Mary queried. "You're not going to have to go back. Not for a very long time. Not until you've lived a full life."

Spectre returned then, carrying a number of sandwiches as well as some juice for Thomas. He sat the tray down, and sat with his husband and Mary. Picking up the thread of the conversation, he added, "Your body can take it. What Amaris did hasn't changed that. And we're keeping you fed to make sure of it."

Thomas looked towards the food Spectre set down, but he didn't bother with asking for it. He knew it wasn't really there anyway. "Not the beyond." Thomas whispered, sure that Amaris would hear his words if he said them too loudly. She might find out he took his mind away and find a way to keep it mired firmly in his terrible reality. "I don't want to go back to reality. It's...nicer here."

"Reality?" Spectre echoed. He must have missed something here. "Thomas, honey, this is reality. You're awake and home. There's nothing else except bad dreams. I promise." Was he still confused from his nightmare? Or was this perhaps something to do with his hallucinations?

Thomas frowned sadly. He wished he could make fake Spectre understand. Thomas believed his real husband was out there, unaware that Thomas was missing. And the man in front of him was nothing but a figment of his feverish imagination. "I wish that were true." Thomas curled up into a ball, trying to cling to the hallucination with all his might.

"Oh honey, it is. It is." It broke Spectre's heart seeing Thomas this way, and he thought desperately for some way to help. "Have you seen something that's frightened you, Thomas? Could you tell me what it is?"

Thomas shook his head quickly, looking scared. Maybe if you admitted to the hallucinations that you knew what they were, they'd disappear and god he didn't want that. "I can't tell you." Thomas' voice was laced with lament. "I don't want you to fade away."

"Neither of us are going anywhere, Thomas," Mary said strongly. "I don't know what we can do to prove it, but if there's anything that will set your mind at ease, we'll gladly do it. There's nothing you can tell us that will cause us to fade away. Absolutely nothing at all."

Thomas believed her. With all his heart, even if he knew she wasn't really his wife, Thomas believed her. "I know you're not real." He conveyed this to them like someone sharing the secret of a lifetime. "I know the truth. But thank you. For being with me when I can't take it."

"Honey, we are real," Mary assured him. "I promise. We're not just here for some brief period of time. I'm as flesh and blood as can be, and Spectre is a permanent fixture."

"Damn right," the angel agreed. "There's no getting rid of me. This is reality; we are real. What is it that makes you think otherwise?"

"I know the truth." Thomas answered, a little more easily this time. Amaris hadn't taken him away from his hallucination yet. Maybe he was here for awhile again. He hoped. "I know all this is something I'm making up. To protect myself. I just...I wish you really knew I was gone."

"Oh, Thomas..." Spectre's voice was quiet as he finally clued in to what was going on in his husband's mind. "No. No, it's not like that. We're not just something you've made up. Jeremy and Morgana rescued you, and we got rid of Amaris and Aurelia. Aurelia is dead. Honey... why don't you focus on your body? You can feel that your injuries are gone. You're not back down where you were, I promise you."

"I wouldn't feel my body if I was asleep." That was what Thomas believed. It stood to reason that he wouldn't be as awake as he had been at first. Lack of food would do that. "I'm almost glad she doesn't feed me. Then I can come here and be with you."

"Thomas, you're not going back there. You never will." Even Mary didn't know how to make him believe it, though. Psychosis was a tricky thing, and unless some part of him got to fighting it from within, she wasn't sure how much they could do from here. Perhaps Abby would have more luck...

"It's okay." Thomas whispered again. He finally reached for Mary's hand, though he left the other one firmly wrapped around his stomach. "We can pretend. It's better than way."

Mary took hold of Thomas' hand, and smiled down at him sadly. "You look hungry, sweetie. You should eat. And maybe... would you like to see Abby?" She didn't have the heart to leave and get her when Thomas had finally reached for her, but Spectre still could.

Thomas looked at the food and he sighed and shook his head. "Food won't make a difference." He looked down at the metal cuffs on his wrists. "Not really." He didn't say anything about Abby, but he sincerely hoped they wouldn't leave him. Thomas reached out to Spectre with his other hand to keep him there. It left his belly exposed, but it was more important to be close to his love.

"Okay," Spectre said softly. If Thomas didn't want them to leave, it could wait. As long as they could get him to eat. "Even if you don't think it will change anything... please eat something for us? It'll make you feel better, here and now."

Thomas was not averse to eating something, even if it wasn't real. Why not? "Alright." He smiled shyly at Spectre, fear only hidden behind the expression by a thin veil. "I'll eat. You always take care of me. I'll remember to tell you this if..if I see you..." Thomas closed his eyes and he took a ragged breath in, trying to keep himself from crying.

"You will," Spectre said firmly. "You'll keep seeing me. I'm going to be here until you fall asleep, and I'll be here when you wake up again. It doesn't matter how long it takes to prove it to you. I'll still be here. That's something you can always rely on, my husband." It was torment seeing Thomas this way, but Spectre had a feeling that as hard as it was, Thomas was enduring something much darker in his own mind. But at least he was still letting them take care of his body.

Thomas nodded, sniffling. He reached for one of the sandwiches, pulling his other arm back to wrap around his stomach again. "She's getting tired of me." Thomas' whispers were now dark. "She might kill me soon. That'd be okay. I'll be with you." Thomas smiled at Mary. "She said she might hurt someone else. That she's tried of just hearing me scream."

"You don't have to worry about others," Mary soothed as best she could. "We're going to stop Amaris. We know we have to, and we won't give up until we do. Just focus on getting stronger yourself, okay? I know you can do it." It was obvious there was no point in challenging Thomas' perceptions now. The best thing to do seemed to be to work around them. Comfort Thomas with a context malleable enough to apply to whatever situation he believed himself to be in.

"I will." Thomas promised them, taking a big bite of sandwich. He ate then, in silence, chewing slowly as if to savour the very act of eating.

When he had finished two and a half of the sandwiches, Thomas turned to his spouses. "Those were good. Thank you, Baby." Thomas smiled easily at Spectre. He reached out for his husband easily now. He no longer whispered. He seemed utterly unaware that he had been in the first place. He didn't look afraid any more. "I think Peter's coming over tomorrow. We should make pancakes or something, he loves those." Thomas no longer looked like he believed he was hallucinating this safe world, nor did he look like he was aware he had ever believed that.

"That sounds like a lovely idea," Spectre agreed, and he squeezed his husband's hand in return. He met Mary's worried eyes though, and wondered what she thought of all this. Had the food bolstered Thomas into reality, or was he just pretending really well?

"Nothing at all to worry about," Mary said experimentally. "It's good to have times like these."

"Mmm." Thomas agreed. He pulled Mary close, though he did so gently. He kissed her cheek and he smiled at her, finishing by nuzzling her cheek with his nose. "You are so beautiful. Both of you. So very beautiful. I'm the luckiest man alive. Do we have pie? Pie of any variety?"

"Personally, I think I'd give you some pretty good competition for the luckiest man alive title," Spectre said, and even through his worry, he couldn't help having a smile for his husband. Not that he would ever want to. "I should think we'd have some sort of pie down there somewhere. I'll bring some up for you." He leaned down to kiss Thomas' forehead tenderly.

"Thank you." Thomas smiled widely. He wanted to enjoy his safety while he could. And pie was enjoyment. "I love pie. Pie and you. This is nice. It's nice here."

"We love you too," Mary spoke warmly, and kissed Thomas' lips. "You're one of the people who makes it nice here."

"One of the best," Spectre added with a wink, and absented himself briefly in order to find pie.