And hearts begin to fly (Rachel, Danny, Val)

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

Since the day she, Danny and Zoe had skipped school, the fog surrounding her thoughts and her moods had continued to hold. Every day Imogene had got her out of bed and taken her to school and every day she had sat in her classrooms feeling numb and blank and stupid, and frustrated with herself for all of this. Frustrated that she couldn't shake it. Frustrated that she couldn't find anything interesting or funny to say around Danny and Zoe. Terrified that any day now they were going to get bored with her, tired of her.

One night the terror of losing them grew stronger than the fog, and she was up all night, pacing the halls till Indigo-Hope yelled at her to stop being so mentally challenged, so she went to pace her room instead. Back and forth, bare feet flattening her fluffy rugs. Back and forth till everyone else had gone to bed and she could sneak into the games room where the liquor cabinet was and find something to take the frightening edges of her mind.

Rachel sat cross legged on her fluffy rug, drinking straight from the bottle of bourbon and glaring at herself in the mirror.

Rachel quite liked bourbon. It made her feel like a roaring log fire.

A fire burning away the worst bits of herself. All the boring bits, all the hard bits, all the bits that might exhaust a friend like it exhausted her father.

She had to be better than this. If she wanted to keep Danny and Zoe. She had to be a better friend, a better person.

Rachel threw open the doors of her closet. It was a big closet, and the first she'd ever had all to herself. She had more clothes now than she'd ever had before. Nicer ones, too. She found a dress, a light cotton floral number that hit her long legs mid thigh, belted with purple leather. She liked the look of herself in this one, especially paired with her purple boots.

She leaned into the mirror as she put her favourite red lipstick on, stared at her reflection for a long moment. Her roots were starting to show again; maybe she should dye it purple next time.

Well she certainly looked like a better person. Someone ready to party. Someone fun. She smiled at herself in the mirror. Maybe Imogene was right and all it really took was an attitude adjustment.

Me and Dad, we're good at lying, she thought, giving herself a wink in the mirror.

Escaping her silent house was easy. Weeks before, she'd written the alarm code on the back of the photo of Indigo that hung nearest the door. It was written on the underside of the letterbox outside too, because she knew she'd forget it.

Regent's Park was closed for the night, so she had to skirt around it, keeping a close eye on the shadows on the other side of the fences. A lot of horror stories came out of that park. She'd been obsessed with the modern day gothic horror of the Ravensdales when the whole story broke; rich twins from old money, a murderous brother in the attic. She didn't believe in ghosts but if any park in London was going to be haunted, it was this one.

It had rained for most of the day and the air was cold, but dry, and she kept her blood warm and her heart brave with the hipflask of bourbon she had tucked into her bra. Even though it was past midnight there were still cars on the road, their tires making long hissing noises on the wet road as they drove past.

Rachel located the tree outside Danny's house, boosting herself up on one of the thick roots so she could wrap her arms around one of the lowest branches. It was thick and awkward, but she gripped her hands together, braced her feet against the trunk and walked up the tree, till her legs were high enough to hook over another branch. She climbed her way up without fear of falling, without fear of anything much.

She swung herself onto his roof, stumbling at the uneven surface and thumping onto her hands and knees. Silently she waited, crouching like an animal, feeling wild and free and reckless. The wind caught her hair and lifted it up, and when Rachel stood again she almost felt like she could fly. For a moment she really believed she might be able to. Spread her arms like wings, catch the wind and fly.

But she was only human, and climbing was as close as she could get to flight.

She pointed her toes like she was dancing and lightly stepped across Danny's roof till she came to his window, his skylight set directly into the ceiling. Kneeling beside it, she tapped her fingers in a rhythm across the glass, and when she saw his face appear she smiled, and left a lipstick kiss on the damp window.

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[daniel_marlow]

There were footsteps on his ceiling. Danny had been unable to sleep, and good thing too because if those soft foot-falls had woven themselves into his dreams, it might have been terrifying. Instead he glanced ceiling-ward with only the glow of his computer monitor to light the room and he saw Rachel's face in his skylight.

Thank fuck too, because Danny didn't want to have to call the cops because a psychopath was trying to break into his house.

He flicked on the lamp and made sure his door was closed before hefting himself off the bed and towards the skylight. The handle twisted and he pulled it towards him, the look on his face expression concern. "Rachel," he whispered, "why...why are you on my ceiling."

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

"Because it's a beautiful night and you're a beautiful boy," Rachel said smiling, his chin propped in her hands, her elbows and knees cold on the damp roof. "You should come up!" she was whispering, not because she remembered than he lived with a teacher, but because it was late, and dark, and talking aloud felt like it would break the magic.

[daniel_marlow]

Danny blinked at her in confusion when she said he was beautiful. Still, climbing up onto his roof sounded really nice. It was lower than the roof on his mother's side of the house, and he crawled up there sometimes when she wasn't home to freak out about it.

He dragged his step-ladder out and under the window, using it to heft himself up and out of the skylight. "It's late, are you okay?" he asked, crawling to sit next to her.

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

"I'm great," Rachel said, smiling as he settled down next to her. She brushed a few bits of wet tree off her knees where they'd stuck to her skin. "Isn't it nice out here? I'm so jealous of your roof."

[daniel_marlow]

"It's nicer than watching Lord of the Rings and trying to fall asleep," he admitted. "You seem very- Have you been drinking?"

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

Rachel put her finger between her teeth and grinned at him cheekily. "Little bit," she admitted. "Do you want some?"

[daniel_marlow]

She was pretty cute when she was drunk at least! He chuckled and shook his head. "Nah, alcohol and me...we don't mix. But I'll sit here while you drink it if you want," he said with a smile.

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

Rachel laughed and swayed sideways to bump Danny's shoulder with her own. "You are the sweetest boy alive," she told him.

[daniel_marlow]

"Am I?" he asked, actually curious. He didn't think he was anything special, but it was nice she thought so. "What am I doing right so I can keep doing it?"

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

Rachel shrugged the closest shoulder to Danny. "I don't know," she said. "You just seem like the kind of boy to give a girl his jacket if she was cold. You have that vibe."

[daniel_marlow]

"I'll keep it up then," he said, looping his arm around her. "Was that a hint by the way, because it's warmer in my bedroom than up here." He said it without a hint of irony. Danny was hardly going to invite someone into his bedroom for reasons of the naughty nature.

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

Rachel ducked her head, smiling at him from behind her curtain of hair. "It's nice out here," she said. "But I think your bedroom might be nicer."

[daniel_marlow]

"It's pretty good as far as bedrooms are concerned," he said with a smile. "And there could be a dog in it if I let Wolf in." He was glad Wolf hadn't barked at Rachel on the roof, but it didn't speak well of his ability to be a guard dog.

"Come on." Danny stood and lowered himself back on to his step-ladder before reaching his arms out so he could help her down it. The last thing he wanted was for her to fall and hurt herself.

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

Rachel followed him through the window, her dancers grace kicking to fight her drunken clumsiness so she hit the step ladder perfectly in the middle. She grabbed for his shoulders though, since they were offered, to guide her as she jumped down onto his floor. "Thank you," she said, leaving her hands on his shoulders. "Did I wake you up?"

[daniel_marlow]

Once she was down, he moved the stepladder away and closed the skylight a little bit. "Nah, I was awake. Couldn't sleep. I was watching Father Ted. Any particular reason you're up at this hour too?" He sort of jump-landed on his bed and then patted the mattress beside him, letting her know it was okay to sit too.

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

"I felt bad," Rachel admitted, climbing onto the bed beside him. Her shoes were wet and she kicked them off so she wouldn't ruin his bed. "I'm sorry I've been such a drag the last couple've weeks," she said. "I know it's so annoying."

[daniel_marlow]

"It's not annoying," he reassured her. "You know- I used to feel guilty about how my mum and my sister had to deal with this messed up kid all the time. Now I know my mum would rather deal with it than not have me around. I like you," he said with a smile, "you're my friend. If you feel bad I'm always going to wish you felt better, but it's not like...putting up with anything, you know? People have shit weeks."

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

"See that," Rachel said, her eyes narrowed as she poked him in the chest. "That's what you do right. You say these dumb things that make me want to bottle them up and save them for when things are really bleak."

[daniel_marlow]

A lot of the things Danny said were things he had learned in therapy, and he was simply relaying them back. It didn't mean he didn't mean them though.

"I could just say them over and over again when you need me to?" he asked, chuckling at the poke at his chest. "I'm sorry things get bleak sometimes. It sucks. I always hate feeling those storm clouds roll in and all you can really do is like...weather the storm."

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

Rachel shook his head, looking at his quilt, at his hand resting on his bed. She was such a stupid person, so dumb to be so scared that Danny might think she was boring, when she knew Danny had the same kind of storms rolling in. That was one of the worst things about the depression - how goddamn stupid it made her. She drew in a shaky breath and yanked out her hipflask, taking a big swallow to set herself back to normal. "Hate weathering it," she told him.

[daniel_marlow]

"Me too," he acknowledged. "Don't drink too much and get sick though. That won't help." He reached out to pull her slowly in to lean against him. "I think you're great though? I mean...if that helps you feel better?"

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

Rachel screwed the lid back on the flask and let it drop onto the floor so her arms were free to wrap around his body. She nodded - it did make her feel better, to have someone think she was great, someone looking after her. His neck was warm against her face, and she turned to be closer to him, and to press her lips against his neck.

[daniel_marlow]

The embrace was nice and warm and new. It was different, being held like that. When Rachel's lips kissed his neck, it sent a shiver down his spine and for a moment, it felt good. Then he stiffened under her touch, but he didn't move away. "W-why did you do that?" he asked, since he honestly didn't understand.

[runrachelrun.insanejournal.com]

She shifted back a little so she could see his face, her head on a tilt. "Because I wanted to?" she said, her arms still around him, one of her hands stroking his back just lightly.

[daniel_marlow]

"O-oh." That didn't really clear it up for Danny, but he didn't feel like he was panicking and that was the important thing, right? "D-do you think I'm fit?"