darker_london | THAT WENT WELL (Danny, Zoe, Rachel, Liz, Emma and Thomas)

Zoe had been having a weird day with Rachel and Danny and Dylan, kind of a suddenly-in-the-deep-end day. She had made the first comment, suggesting that Danny could go for a run, but only because Danny had already said that he wouldn't! Then all of a sudden, everyone had taken her seriously, and Rachel had pulled Dylan into it too, and there was four of them!

It hadn't been too bad. She liked Dylan, he was little, clever and had been through crap. They didn't talk much, but they were part of the same thing.

And Zoe felt very protective over Danny and Rachel. She hadn't meant to do that. It was an accident. But she felt somewhere in her guilty gut that something bad was going to happen if she turned her back on them.

And running around being ridiculous in the park had been fun. Actually fun. Fun enough that she hadn't invited them back to her house to keep an eye on them. Besides, the moment she mentioned Liz's name Rachel had lit up, and Zoe couldn't shoot the look on her face down.

"Isn't it?" Rachel grinned at Danny, grabbing his arm in excitement. "You should see inside, it just goes on forever."

Danny bit his lip and he grinned over at his new friends. This was going to be fine, just fine. He was even tempted to take Rachel's hand again and so he did, giving it a little squeeze.

Today had been so wonderful.

They followed Liz into the house, Danny feeling a little skip in his step. "It's the nicest house I've ever seen, Zoe."

Rachel felt the jolt of happiness as Danny took her hand, a thrill of excitement as she squeezed it back. She'd been running around all day in the sun and flirting with all of them, trying to make the others laugh, trying to make sure they had as much fun as she was having. Rachel was going to ask if she could stay the night at Zoe's; she didn't want to go home. Her hand in Danny's, she didn't want to ruin today.

"I'll get in touch with the architects and let them know," Zoe told Danny, giving him a wink in case he couldn't tell she was joking.

"Well see that you do," Danny shot back with a grin.

Liz let them all inside the house and while Danny gazed around in wonder, she headed into the kitchen to find her wife.

"Thomas!" she said happily, upon finding Emma and Thomas hunkered over the stove, poking at something in a pot.

Thomas turned to grin at Liz, and he moved forward to wrap her in a hug. "Hello! I'm trying to save your dinner, I think Emma killed it." From behind him, Emma made a sound of protest.

"Zoe's lived here since she was like twelve, she's like a freaking cinderella story," Rachel told Danny, grinning at him.

"Oh shut up, I am not," said Zoe, with a frown.

"Except her lesbian mums are the prince," said Rachel, finding a couple of faults in her fairy tale.

"Plus Cinderella didn't fuck up as much as me," Zoe added. Rachel reached over and poked her in the ribs to stop her being so bloody hard on herself.

Danny chuckled at the girls, enjoying their banter until he looked up at noticed the gigantic man in the kitchen.

He felt like his stomach froze and he nearly dropped Rachel's hand before realising that would draw too much attention to himself. No. No no he had to pretend everything was fine because people took advantage of weakness.

Thomas hadn't really noticed, though he turned to beam at Zoe. "Hi, Zoe! How's your day been?"

"Oh, pretty great," Zoe said, stretching her arms above her head. "Kicked some ass. Ugh," she said, noticing a whiff from her underarms and putting her arms down quickly. "I'm gonna grab another shirt though," she said, ducking out of the kitchen.

"Can I borrow one?" Rachel called after her. She was still holding Danny's hand though and Danny had gone a bit weird, so she turned back to look at him and smile. "Gonna go make myself beautiful," she said.

Danny wanted to beg them not to leave him, but the words caught in his throat. Instead he dropped Rachel's hand and managed a nod in her direction. It was fine. It was normal. They would be right back, and Zoe's mums were still with him. Everything was fine.

Rachel jogged after Zoe, and as soon as Zoe realised that Rachel was trying to catch up with her she increased her speed and bolted up the stairs, the pair of them thundering up through the house like a stampede of elephants. "Bam!" Zoe yelled in triumph, making it to her room first and bursting through the door. Rachel was a moment behind her, but didn't stop as Zoe had, and tackled her right down onto the floor.

Zoe shrieked like a proper girl, tumbling down onto her floor with with Rachel on top of her. "Bam!" Rachel imitated, sitting victoriously on Zoe's stomach.

"Off," Zoe insisted, fighting back the urge to giggle. No giggling. "Or no spare shirt for you and you'll have to stink for the rest of the day."

"You're such a poor loser," Rachel said, poking Zoe in the face. Zoe slapped at her hand, her body shaking with suppressed laughter.

Rachel picked herself up off the floor and off the Zoe, who rolled onto her stomach and crawled, still totally not laughing to the end of her bed where her pile of clean laundry was waiting to bed put away. Zoe took a few big, deep breaths, calming down before she stood up and started rummaging through the pile.

Danny stood awkwardly in the kitchen as Emma and Liz glanced over the dinner. "Ohhhkay, come on, Emma. We're leaving and letting Thomas finish cooking dinner because he won't end up poisoning us all!" Liz led Emma into the living room and the two giggled as they did so.

And then Danny was alone in the kitchen with the gigantic man. The man who was three times bigger than he was. The man who wouldn't even break a sweat pushing Danny to the floor, and-

Danny felt like his throat was closing up as he stared at Thomas. Thomas didn't notice at first as he added a few seasonings to the pot on the stove. He tasted it and, seemingly pleased with his amendments, he turned to find Danny staring at him, pale and clearly terrified.

"Hey," Thomas stepped forward, a worried look on his face which Danny completely missed. "You okay? I didn't catch your name." He stepped forward again and then he did the very worst thing he could have done. He reached forward and took gentle hold of Daniel's shoulders. Thomas was a tactile man, but Danny was not. The only person allowed to touch Danny was his mother and, for some reason, Rachel.

Frozen for a second, panic clawed at Danny's heart. Then without even thinking about it, he crumpled to the floor, out of Thomas' grip. Quickly, he crawled backwards as far as he could until his back hit the wall hard enough to bruise. There, half under the table of the breakfast nook, Daniel whimpered and put his hands over his head. "Please-" he breathed. "Please don't-"

Unable to miss cues like that, Thomas immediately sat down where he was, so he wasn't towering over Danny. He also wanted the poor boy to know he wasn't planning on moving any closer. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out."

Danny hardly heard. His body was in the middle of a full-blown panic attack and his lungs felt desperate and empty. He clutched as his chest, his hand balled into a fist in his shirt. He was going crazy. Oh god, he was going to die here and he just wanted to call his mum, but he couldn't move and he was trapped and maybe this was Zoe's plan all along. He started to cry, loud desperate sobs, as he rocked back and forth.

"Jesus-" Thomas hissed. "SOMEONE HELP ME!" he called out to the rest of the house.

Zoe had already pulled on a clean shirt, the first one she found because Zoe didn't care about clothes. Rachel was kneeling on the floor, poking through Zoe's laundry basket to try and find something she thought would suit her, when Thomas's voice bellowed through the house.

"Stay here," Zoe snapped at Rachel, bolting to her feet and out the door, which she slammed shut on her way out. Whatever was going on she didn't want Rachel involved. She sprinted back down the stairs and into the kitchen, bursting in on a sobbing Danny and Thomas, also on the floor. It was not what she'd been expecting.

"What happened?" she demanded, hitting Thomas with a glare.

"He's having a panic attack," Thomas explained to Zoe as he held his hands up in the air. "I think I freaked him out just by being here."

Liz and Emma rushed in as well, but Emma hung back while Liz went to kneel near to Danny. "Oh shit. Danny? Danny, its okay, we're here."

Danny continued to struggle to breathe, but his crying quieted down. "Don't-don't hurt me," he managed to whisper to the entire room.

"No one here is going to hurt you, Danny," Liz promised.

Rachel froze as Zoe snapped at her, as Zoe slammed her door and shut her in. Her stomach leaped and she jumped up too so she could open the door. No she wasn't going to be shut in - no. The door swung open easily; it wasn't locked. But she didn't follow Zoe down. She hesitated, standing in Zoe's room in her bra, a shirt in her hand.

"Okay so get out of here then," Zoe snapped viciously at Thomas, more vicious than she meant, but she didn't know how else to react.

"Danny," Zoe said, copying Liz by dropping to her knees. "Danny, Thomas is fucking off, okay? He's going away." Was Danny attacked by a Thomas lookalike? Was an angel stealing his face? That had happened before. Oh shit.

Thomas understood where Zoe was coming from, and while he moved away and out of the kitchen, he stayed where he could see them all. He had a feeling he knew what was going on.

"I-" Danny struggled to calm his breath, his hand still clenched over his chest. "I'm sorry-"

From where Thomas stood in the entryway he said, "I think I understand, Danny. I'm sorry I didn't know before. I understand because it happened to me too."

That was enough of a shock, that Danny raised his head and stared at the gigantic man in the hallway. The distraction actually served to calm him, at least a little bit. The other man was huge, how could he have been through it too, unless-

"Were you also seven?" Danny asked, his voice ragged.

Next to Zoe, Liz's eyes fell shut. She was clearly horrified.

Zoe was so very unimpressed with Thomas not listening to her and getting out like she had instructed! "Thomas, stop talking!" she snapped at him again, before she'd even heard what he'd said. Before she realised that Danny was talking back.

And before she saw the look on Liz's face. "What?" she said, still sounding sharp, still sounding like she was lashing out at someone. Zoe looked between Danny and Thomas and Liz and back to Danny again. "What?" she repeated once more, this time softer. This time, after the horror on Liz's face had a chance to sink in.

Thomas gave Zoe an apologetic look, but he was more concerned with the poor boy on the floor right now. He took a step forward and then crouched down again. "No, Danny, I wasn't seven. It was only a few years ago."

Daniel sniffed hard, rubbing frantically at his face. "That doesn't even make any sense," he hissed. "You're strong. It doesn't make sense."

"Someone else was stronger," Thomas said sadly. "And I know how much it infects every other part of your life. How difficult it makes anything else. If I had known, I never would have tried to take your shoulders to see if you were okay."

Danny watched Thomas carefully, but there was nothing menacing in his expression. He didn't trust it, but maybe he didn't need to run away right very now. "Okay," he muttered before turning to Zoe. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fuck everything up. I thought he was going to- I thought he might-" Danny shook his head, unable to say the words.

"I think Danny was worried I might assault him," Thomas said gently.

With a nod, Danny covered his face with his hands.

Rachel had hesitated long enough - she didn't know what was going on but she didn't want to be up here by herself just waiting. She didn't want Zoe and Danny and whoever to be left all by themselves, even though what was she going to do? Not stay up here in Zoe's room.

The cries from below drew her down, not as fast as Zoe had run but quickly enough. The whole house felt suddenly strange and unfamiliar, even though she'd been here quite a few times before. Heart in her throat, she paused at the door to the kitchen, looking in at the mess of people on the floor. The shirt she'd found to wear still hanging from her hand. She hadn't even thought to put it on.

Zoe had been kneeling, but with Thomas's last words she thumped down onto the floor to sit on her butt, her mouth a little open. She didn't know what to say to that. Didn't have a single word.

But that's stupid, Thomas won't, she wanted to say. But then how many people at school were still scared of her because they thought she might shoot them? Even though it was totally not ever going to happen? Rachel's stepsister was proof people were still freaked out.

Zoe saw a movement and looked up to see Rachel standing in the doorway, a look on her face like a deer frozen in headlights. Scars marred her bare stomach, short shallow scars, some of them old, some of them less old, disappearing up under her bright red bra and down into her track pants.

Zoe felt dizzy with it all. "No," she said, her hands flat on the floor. "Nuh uh."

Danny swallowed roughly, his lungs finally losing that burning feeling. He still felt raw and horrified, but he wasn't panicking any more. Liz happened to glance sideways at Rachel in time to notice she was standing there without a shirt on. She rose and walked towards Rachel, keeping her voice quiet. "It's okay, Rachel. Danny's alright." She took her own sweater off to offer it to the poor girl.

Crawling out from under the table a bit, it was clear Danny was still shaking. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak out," he said, practically begging Zoe for her forgiveness. "He was just so...large." Danny had meant 'imposing' but 'large' was the only word he could think of.

Rachel looked down at the shirt in her hand and the sweater in Liz's and let Zoe's drop, so she had her hands free, so Liz could wrap her up in this warm sweater. She felt like a kid, letting her mother guide her arms into the sweater. Except she was not a kid and she didn't have a mother. But she did have a sweater, and it was warm and smelled like Liz.

Zoe licked her lips and shook her head at Danny. "He is really big..." she said. She couldn't comprehend why Danny should be apologising to her. It was her stupid fault that this had happened; that she hadn't known what would happen if she left him alone.

When Liz had wrapped Rachel in her sweater and buttoned it up, she rubbed the girl's arms and gave her a little squeeze. The poor girl was all marked up, but she didn't think it was her place to ask. Instead, she just stood beside her.

Thomas stood again, returning to the stove so nothing would burn. "You don't have to apologise, Danny. Like I said, I've been through it and I understand."

Danny inched out from underneath the table, towards Zoe. "W-was it a lady who did it to you? Or a man?"

"It was a man," well a man in someone's head, but it counted. "Named Brian. Terrible person."

Danny nodded sadly. "It was a man who did it to me too. My uncle." To Zoe, he tried to smile, but it mostly came out as a grimace. "I guess I'm not so afraid of Thomas any more. Is he your uncle?"

"Your uncle..." Zoe was starting to feel less like a stunned mullet and more like her old angry self. "Thomas isn't. My uncle, I mean. He's my uncle's best friend guy." She swallowed, thinking she should offer her hand out to help Danny out from the table. She should. But what if he flinched away from her? What if she freaked him out by trying to touch him? Best not to. Best to sit on her hands.

For some reason, the fact that Thomas wasn't Zoe's uncle made him less freaked out. He reached up to grip the table hard so he could pull himself up, and only then did he realise Rachel was standing there on the stairs with Liz. His ears turned red and he looked ashamed as both of them watched him. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"Nonsense," Liz replied, shooing Rachel into the kitchen so she could be closer to poor Danny. "We understand panic attacks. It's perfectly alright, as long as you're feeling better. Do you want some water?"

Danny nodded mutely, glancing back at his friends. "So I didn't ruin everything?"

"You? No," Zoe said, frowning, as Rachel was shooed in. She went right up to Danny and extended her newly-sweatered arms, the offer was there if he wanted to step forward into the hug. Rachel kind of felt like the sweater might be magic. Rachel kind of felt incredibly sad about Danny's past.

Danny did, grateful for the hug. He kind of collapsed against Rachel, wrapping shaking arms around her. "I feel like a five-year-old, too afraid to be left alone." It was kind of muttered into her hair, but he was sure the others heard him.

"I hate being alone," Liz assured him. "No one ruined anything and dinner will be ready soon." She went to rub Zoe's shoulder, but she was prepared for Zoe to step away. Sometimes Zoe didn't like being comforted.

Rachel closed her arms around Danny, her face pressed gently against his shoulder. "It's okay, I can look after you," she said, just as quietly as Danny. She knew it was a pretty poor thing to say; she could barely look after herself some days. She didn't have any experience with looking after anyone else.

Zoe didn't step away from Liz rubbed her shoulder, but she did tense up. Part of her did want to fall into a soft hug like Danny had done, but she also knew that, without a doubt, if she left that part of her soften it would take a long time to harden again, and she'd be left in the open as vulnerable as Danny. She wasn't allowed to be vulnerable. She was the one who had to save them.

Danny hid his face in Rachel's shoulder for a moment before stepping away. "I think I'm okay now," he informed the room. "Calmer." Today had just been so nice. Danny glanced over at Zoe, wondering if he was supposed to hug her too. If he didn't, was that rude? Did she even want to be hugged? He usually didn't, but right now he wanted anything comforting he could find.

"Calmer is good," Zoe said with a firm nod. "Calmer is what we want." She looked at Danny, trying to send him a comforting smile but honestly she wasn't sure what her face was doing. "Liz is right, we get panic attacks in this house. We're all big trauma-philes!" and she laughed at her stupid attempt at lightening the mood, and kind of hated herself for it. What the crap was coming out of her mouth right now?

Danny's smile widened as Zoe was pretty damn adorable. "Thank you," he said, and he meant it. "Uhm...can- can you not tell anyone else? I don't like people to know. Dylan knows, but that's because he eventually figured it out. Maybe like Thomas."

Thomas gave Danny a sad smile. "If you want to talk about anything, I'm here to do so. Obviously not alone."

To his credit, Danny hadn't even reacted to the idea of opening up to Thomas all by himself. "I might, I don't know. I talk about it to my therapists enough." To Zoe and Rachel, he added, "but if you guys have questions...I could answer them I guess."

Zoe nodded an of course at his request not to tell anyone. Who did she have to tell? Not that Zoe would have ever said anything. Maybe to Liz, but Liz was already there. Maybe she should talk to Liz about it later. But what could Liz do about it anyway?

"Is your uncle still around?" Rachel asked quietly, her hands pulled up into the sleeves of the sweater. "Like is he in jail or something?"

Danny ran his fingers through his hair and then he went to sit on the breakfast nook bench because his knees felt weak. "He ran off," Danny muttered. "He kept telling me- He told me if I told anyone what he was doing, he would kill my sister and my mum. And I was seven so of course I believed him. Went on for months- nine in fact- until my mum walked in and saw it. And when she called the police, he ran. He's not in prison, at least not because of me. But I haven't seen him."

All the adults were listening carefully to Danny's story, and when he finished, they all looked livid. "Well you're with people who are going to do anything they can you keep you safe right now, Danny," Thomas promised the boy.

I'll find him, Zoe thought to herself. I'll find him and I'll make sure he pays. She was glowering at the kitchen floor.

Rachel stepped sideways so she could whisper in Danny's ear. "I think they mean it too," she said. "They're all super nice."

Danny looked up to smile at Rachel. "Thanks," he said to Thomas. "Never had anyone expect my mother swear to protect me before." It was weird but nice. "Not even my dad did that." Not that his dad did anything.

Rachel smiled and wrapped her arms around his arm, leaning into him. "I'll be your dad," she said, which sounded a lot weirder out loud than it had in her head.

It actually made Danny laugh, a sort of surprised guffaw and he just let her lean. "I think if I call you dad at school, I might get some weird looks." He glanced over at Zoe who seemed to be picking a fight with the lino. "Alright, Zoe?"

"I'm just mad at all the stupid people treating my friends like stupid crap!" Zoe snapped, digging her foot into the stupid lino.

She had said they were friends, and that mattered so much to him. She was upset because he had gone through pain, and though he was sad she had to feel that way, it meant someone else cared about him. That was pretty priceless.

"I'm not so fond of it either," he said with a small smile. "And I'd be really pissed off if someone treated you like crap too."

That comment made Liz smile to herself as she turned to make some garlic bread.

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An Original RPG

THAT WENT WELL (Danny, Zoe, Rachel, Liz, Emma and Thomas)

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