Don't let it take your grace - James, Scarlett
Jan. 27th, 2011 03:13 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
scarlettvoices.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
darker_london"Quit following me, James!"
Scarlett was like a bright streak of red through the night streets of Copenhagen, her clothes dark and her hair free behind her.
"ScarJo," he sighed, following at a quick walk. "Could you just stop?"
If there was any fairness in the world at all, James Kensington would have been back home in London curled up with his new wife in their new house. They'd had to move the wedding around after Astrid had gotten sick. The plan had been for a big spring wedding, and that still was the plan. Sort of. Probably. James couldn't really think that far ahead right now though. The whole family had started existing day to day since they didn't know how much longer they would have Astrid.
So there had been a very small ceremony before they left England on this trip so Astrid could be there for it. It had been just the family and a few of James and Aslan's closest friends. They were still supposed to have a big wedding later so all the other guest could be there, but James and Aslan knew which one felt more real already.
He missed her. Stupidly and pathetically, in the silly way that made him want to write sonnets about her eyes and other nonsense teenage boy ideas. Probably lucky he'd married her. He was pretty sure Aslan would cope with non-ironic sonnets so long as he never told anyone she'd enjoyed it.
He was seeing more of Europe than he'd ever seen before and he was married to an amazing woman, but James had never felt more like crying every single day. There was no way to describe how much it hurt to watch his youngest sister deteriorate like she was. Her forgetting, her confusions, her pain, her spasms. Sometimes he wished he wasn't there at all, but he knew that soon enough he was going to regret every single moment he hadn't been with her at the end.
He'd only got to know Astrid for three and a half short years. That was it.
It wasn't fair, but it was happening.
"Just let me walk," Scarlett said from up ahead, stopping now as he reached out and caught her arm. She made a long suffering sigh and didn't look at him.
"What's going on?" James asked her and Scarlett did look at him then, as though he was stupid.
"What's- Our sister is dying!"
James resisted any urge to shake her. "Yeah, she is, so why are you out here when we could be back there?"
"I can't do it, James," she told him, shaking her head violently. "I can't sit there while she looks at me blankly, like I'm some stranger!"
"Don't be so selfish," James said, although sometimes he felt that same way. He didn't run though. That had to be the difference. "She needs us."
"She doesn't need us when she is scared of us! James it just- it hurts so much." She let herself sink into James' arms then and he held her tightly. "It just hurts so so much and I can't even stand it. The time is going so quickly and I can't make it stop and she's so sick."
"I know," James just whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I know, but she needs us now, even when she doesn't know it. Especially when she doesn't know it. Just... come back, please?"
Scarlett nodded silently against her brother and he kissed her forehead and wiped at the tear under her eye. Nodding back towards the direction of the hotel he put his arm around Scarlett and they walked back, slower now and without speaking a word.
Scarlett was like a bright streak of red through the night streets of Copenhagen, her clothes dark and her hair free behind her.
"ScarJo," he sighed, following at a quick walk. "Could you just stop?"
If there was any fairness in the world at all, James Kensington would have been back home in London curled up with his new wife in their new house. They'd had to move the wedding around after Astrid had gotten sick. The plan had been for a big spring wedding, and that still was the plan. Sort of. Probably. James couldn't really think that far ahead right now though. The whole family had started existing day to day since they didn't know how much longer they would have Astrid.
So there had been a very small ceremony before they left England on this trip so Astrid could be there for it. It had been just the family and a few of James and Aslan's closest friends. They were still supposed to have a big wedding later so all the other guest could be there, but James and Aslan knew which one felt more real already.
He missed her. Stupidly and pathetically, in the silly way that made him want to write sonnets about her eyes and other nonsense teenage boy ideas. Probably lucky he'd married her. He was pretty sure Aslan would cope with non-ironic sonnets so long as he never told anyone she'd enjoyed it.
He was seeing more of Europe than he'd ever seen before and he was married to an amazing woman, but James had never felt more like crying every single day. There was no way to describe how much it hurt to watch his youngest sister deteriorate like she was. Her forgetting, her confusions, her pain, her spasms. Sometimes he wished he wasn't there at all, but he knew that soon enough he was going to regret every single moment he hadn't been with her at the end.
He'd only got to know Astrid for three and a half short years. That was it.
It wasn't fair, but it was happening.
"Just let me walk," Scarlett said from up ahead, stopping now as he reached out and caught her arm. She made a long suffering sigh and didn't look at him.
"What's going on?" James asked her and Scarlett did look at him then, as though he was stupid.
"What's- Our sister is dying!"
James resisted any urge to shake her. "Yeah, she is, so why are you out here when we could be back there?"
"I can't do it, James," she told him, shaking her head violently. "I can't sit there while she looks at me blankly, like I'm some stranger!"
"Don't be so selfish," James said, although sometimes he felt that same way. He didn't run though. That had to be the difference. "She needs us."
"She doesn't need us when she is scared of us! James it just- it hurts so much." She let herself sink into James' arms then and he held her tightly. "It just hurts so so much and I can't even stand it. The time is going so quickly and I can't make it stop and she's so sick."
"I know," James just whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I know, but she needs us now, even when she doesn't know it. Especially when she doesn't know it. Just... come back, please?"
Scarlett nodded silently against her brother and he kissed her forehead and wiped at the tear under her eye. Nodding back towards the direction of the hotel he put his arm around Scarlett and they walked back, slower now and without speaking a word.
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