Reality is slipping - Scarlett, Stephie

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

Scarlett's grip on reality was shot, but she didn't know whether that was her own mind or because Magnus' had lost his grip on whatever world he had been trying to build up for her. Sure, it had all made sense before but now it seemed like she'd drift out of the world for long periods of time. Was she insane? Or was Magnus insane? Or had he forgotten about her and she was just lying somewhere in the dark creating so much noise in her own head to keep from feeling alone.

She didn't know any more if she could believe a word of anything. These were the things she knew as fact, because her friends had told them to her: Tasha was alive and well, Kait was dead, Renee was losing her mind, her parents had moved to Canada with Nancy, Astrid was in the clutches of Jillian, The hospital had been handed over by the government by Peter, all hell had broken loose and London was in chaos.

These were also the things that Scarlett knew were all lies, because not long after someone told her about them, someone else was denying them. She believed all of them but couldn't trust a soul. Not even herself.

After four years of living within a world that few people understood, Scarlett's mind had finally had enough and she now spent her days will hallucinations and delusions, each as real as everything had been before.

"Scarlett."

She turned from where she'd been looking out the window and smiled tiredly at Renee. The other girl didn't smile back but instead crossed her arms, looking afraid.

"What's wrong?" Scarlett whispered. "Is it Astrid? Have they-"

"No," Renee said with a shake of her head, coming to sit over on the floor across from her girlfriend. "It's not Astrid. It's- Scarlett, Ry's back in London."

"Is he here?" she asked, looking to the window in the door to see if he was waiting.

Renee started crying then and Scarlett reached over and hugged her, whispering her name, trying to calm her down. When Renee spoke again her voice was obscured by tears. "Scar, he came back and I don't understand, oh, me amour, he's a demon again. And he's-" She clung to Scarlett. "Stephie, he took Stephie."

There was so much horror. Every time she saw someone she knew it was bad news and now Ry, once again demonic, had taken Stephie. "Oh Goddess, we have to-"

"She's dead," Renee sobbed, falling into Scarlett's lap. Scarlett stared at the wall across from her, horrified, and then she started crying too. All her days were spent in tears. Eventually she fell asleep, exhausted, her cheek against Renee's thigh as the two girls sat on the floor.

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[slinkster-ghoul.livejournal.com]

Since Scarlett's admission into hospital, the closest Stephie had come to visiting her was watching her through the window in her door. At first it was because she was angry at Scarlett, for losing it when Stephie needed her but by now her anger had dissipated and turned into something else. A sort of helplessness whenever she heard how badly Scarlett was doing. And frustration. If Tasha could convince herself she was living in the real world now, why couldn't Scarlett? Scarlett hadn't even been taken by Magnus.

Maiya said she shouldn't people's problems because everyone handled stuff differently but Stephie couldn't help it, really. It was too hard to just accept what Scarlett was going through. When someone was suffering, it was so much easier to be around them when you could tell they were trying to get better, but Scarlett hadn't reached that point yet, and till she did, Stephie had no idea how to help her.

But mostly, mostly she just missed her Scarlett. They'd been friends for years and years and she considered Scarlett her sister like she considered Thomas her brother, and there had been times in Stephie's life when Scarlett had been the only one she wanted near her. And now on her birthday, Scarlett was pretty much the only one she wanted to talk to.

Stephie bit down hard on her knuckles then pushed the door open, slowly. She lingered near the doorway, wondering why Scarlett was asleep on the floor, and wondering if it would be really bad if she woke her up. Afraid to try, she leaned up against the wall and watched her, chewing the skin on her knuckles, waiting.

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

When Scarlett woke up her eyes were puffy from all the crying and Renee was gone. She must have slipped out at some point and not wanted to wake her. She rubbed her face roughly and pushed herself to sit up.

When she spotted Stephie she looked at her in relieved shock. "You're not dead," she whispered, not sure if she could believe that.

[slinkster-ghoul.livejournal.com]

Stephie looked worried, but she shook her head. "Noo," she said, patting herself down as if to prove she was solid. "Not me. Still alive." She could tell Scarlett had been crying just wanted to close the distance between them and hug all the misery out of her (out of them both, really.) She stepped forward, coming close enough to hold out her hand, presumably for Scarlett to touch to prove to herself Stephie was still warm and alive.

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

Scarlett reached out and touched Stephie, finding her skin to be warm and yielding, just as Renee had been. Alive.

Something was a lie.

Everything was a lie.

Scarlett's head hurt.

"Renee told me you'd-" she shook her head. "Doesn't matter, doesn't matter. Did he hurt you?"

[slinkster-ghoul.livejournal.com]

"What?" Stephie frowned, but curled her fingers around Renee's hand despite the growing feelings of discomfort. "Who? No - I'm fine. Renee told you what?" Stephie assumed Scarlett was talking about a conversation she must have had a couple of days ago, when Renee had been talking. (If it was even Renee, Stephie still had her own private doubts.)

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

"About Ry," Scarlett told her, worried that something here wasn't right. (Nothing was right though.) "That... Renee told me that he was a demon again?"

[slinkster-ghoul.livejournal.com]

Stephie flinched back, just the idea of it making her feel a little sick, deep down. "No, Scarlett, that - didn't happen. Or if it did - I haven't seen him in over a year. And I don't think Renee has either. Not for ages. He's long gone."

Ry had gone kind of crazy, too. He'd had amnesia, and had decided he was happier not remembering who she was. Stephie had just been thinking about that the other day. It had been two years ago now and it still hurt to think that someone who'd loved her once could just stop caring.

And his serious head injury could go fuck itself. It still amounted to the same thing anyway.

Please don't let Scarlett stop caring, Stephie pleaded with a god she'd never believed in, but was willing to pretend might exist, so she had someone to beg. Please don't let her crazy take her away from me.

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

The confusion she felt would have bee clear as it flitted across her face, yet another sworn fact in her life being contradicted again. "Oh," she finally said, swallowing and not trusting her own words any more than her own brain. "I must have-" Scarlett shook her head. "Things get confused. You came to see me before? I can't remember. I feel like... I've lost things."