darker_london | This could be the start of something (Godric, Julian)

Godric was sitting in the back, his foot jiggling. The room smelled like instant coffee and stale shortbread, and it was filled with the hushed whispers of people trying to ignore the reason they were here at least until the meeting started. Narcotics Anonymous. They all came together to cry on each other's shoulders when it was too hard to get by with out anything else. Godric, who was very active in group therapy, every once in awhile, needed some himself.

Godric was busy scribbling out a poem full of heavy-handed metaphors when he heard someone else walk in. He lifted his head to see an attractive boy, younger than he was, enter and duck his head. Godric could see the boy was gay without even talking to him. It was in the way he carried himself and the way he dressed. It was like his entire being was infused with it. Godric liked that.

Julian sat in the back on the opposite side of the aisle and only then did he look up at Godric. He saw the other boy watching him and he smiled shyly and waved. Godric waved back and only then decided to move next to Julian. "Hey. I'm Godric not Gryffindor. I like the meetings that take place in a circle."

Julian laughed and he offered Godric his hand as if he was proffering some kind of priceless artifact. "Julian Littleton. And yes, I'm fond of circles! So what is your surname if you don't mind giving up on the whole anonymous thing?"

Godric took a seat because he decided he was now sitting beside the friendly, gay kid. "Thwaite. And my real name is Benjamin but it's blah, so I go by my middle name."

"My middle name is Thomas. After my uncle." Julian narrowed his eyes at Godric then. How many Godrics could there be running around London willy-nilly. "Do you know Flynn? Malachy Flynn? He's in a band with my uncle's husband...who...would also be my uncle but by marriage obviously, not in a way that's creepy."

Godric laughed and he nodded. "Flynn saved my life once. So you're related to the famous Mr Spectre, hmm? Why do they call him Ash and then his name is Thomas?"

Julian turned slightly white and Godric didn't know why. He chose not to dwell. "Er...He hates the name Ashley. Says it's too girly. So he goes by his middle name. Heh heh so you come here often? Oh my god." Julian covered his mouth and he looked ashamed. "Great small talk, loser."

Godric laughed easily and he realised their chatter had added to the drone of people avoiding the issue. Interesting. "I don't mind. And no, not that often. Not anymore. I did at first." Godric looked up and he saw Julian watching him. The boy's eyes were intense and kind, but there was something behind them. Something Godric really related to. "Hey...feel like a coffee or something after the meeting? Unless you're really hooked on the idea of the freeze dried coffee crystals."

"Oh please, I'd rather wear polyester." Julian grinned and then the group of them were shushed. The meeting was starting.

* * * * * * *

Julian and Godric walked out into the night, both taking deep breaths and holding them for entirely different reasons. It was Godric who turned to Julian first. "Coffee, or walking in the semi-freezing autumn night?"

"I think I'll go for the night, actually." Julian walked down the steps of the town hall and he turned onto a footpath, Godric beside him. "So...you started using after..."

"Being raped. Yeah." Godric was never silent about what had happened to him. It was one of the reasons he could help run the group therapy sessions, and work for the help line. He was open and he didn't believe for a second that he was to blame for it. "I wasn't addicted as such. I was addicted to not feeling more than I was to any one drug. That's why I tried everything."

"Heh." Julian kicked at a stone, sending it sailing into the road. "Oh balls, that's not tidy." He ran out and retrieved it, slipping the stone into his pocket when he returned. Godric was watching him, a amused look on his face. "Don't judge me! And yeah, I get not wanting to feel. Been there."

"I guessed as much," Godric admitted. "So how long has it been?"

"Clean? A few months now. Before that it was almost a year. I'd been pretty good but...my mum and sister died and I...went a bit mad."

Godric stopped walking, his face a mask of utter horror and sympathy. He couldn't ever imagine losing his mother and sister. Lanie was his fairy princess, and his mother was the woman who had asked him to keep living. For her. It was the first thing that had worked. It was why he was still here. "I'm so sorry..."

"Me too." Julian turned to walk again and Godric fell in step beside him. "I'm sorry about what happened to you too. Sometimes going to those meetings...it bums me out."

"How so?" Godric looked up at the cloudy sky and he smiled at it.

"Everyone there...they've been through so much..."

"And they're dealing." Godric finished. "They wouldn't be there if they weren't. Admitting you need help isn't a weakness, it's a strength. Those people are the ones strong enough to do that and you're one of them. Chin up, cupcake."

Julian smiled a little, self-conscious. "I...never thought of it that way."

"It's true. Dear lord I am freezing my balls off. And that, my friend, would be a travesty to society. It's coffee time. You can tell me about your university courses!"

Julian laughed and he followed Godric into a nearby cafe and Godric smiled as they sat down. He loved making new friends. It made all the other crap worth it.