Mistaking - Scarlett, Thomas

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

When Scarlett opened her eyes it was Thomas she saw across from her in the bed, and she lay there for a few moments, silent and still, contemplating the angles and places of his sleeping face. Thomas had always been handsome, but that had never meant anything to Scarlett before all of this. He was just a man, a friend of a friend. But now it all meant so much more and she spent her wakeful hours trying to decipher what all of her new feelings meant. She was smart enough not to mention any of them to anyone though. She wouldn't understand and so why should they?

It didn't take too long for her to realise that seeing him meant she couldn't see Stephie. Stephie who had been sleeping between them for days. She sat straight up in the bed and cried out for Thomas to wake up.

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[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Thomas sat bolt upright at his name being called. He didn't sleep so soundly these days, in case they needed him. And it sounded like they did. "What?!" Thomas jumped up and he looked frantically at the bed. There was Scarlett, looking terrified and...no one. "Oh shit... Where is she?! Where is Stephie?!"

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

"I don't know!" Scarlett said, grabbing for Thomas' hand. "I just woke up and she's not here and what if they've come and taken her??"

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

"T...no. No, they can't. They can't! They wouldn't be able to see the hospital!" That didn't mean Thomas wasn't panicking. He rushed to Scarlett's side, and he took hold of her arm, as if that was the only thing keeping her from disappearing too. "They couldn't have...she must have gone for...maybe she was hungry!"

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

Scarlett closed her eyes tightly, gripping to Thomas in an attempt to remain calm. "They can't see the hospital," she repeated, willing herself to remember this. "Bad guys can't see the hospital and they don't know it's here anyway." She took a deep breath. "Nothing can take her out of here." Another breath, this one a little slower. "She must have left the room herself." She swallowed and looked up at Thomas, because she was sure if he was calm then she could be as well. "Food," she nodded quickly. "Or maybe she woke up and went to the bathroom, or even to have a shower." None of them were exactly working on normal hours.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Thomas nodded slowly, willing himself to calm down as well. "And if anyone did try to get here, there are cameras in the hallways. Someone would know by now. Someone would know they second they stepped foot in here. It's alright. She'll be alright." He let out a shaky unnecessary breath and then he leaned down to kiss Scarlett's hair before he pulled her closer. "It's all going to be alright."

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

Scarlett leaned into him, sharing his warmth and his strength. She'd never really hugged Thomas before all of this with the Templar and now it seemed like she was always hugging him. She liked it. "We're all alright," she whispered into his chest, breathing slowly. And then, after a moment, she frowned. "You've no heartbeat." She'd known that, really, but to actually hear the lack of it in his chest was a whole different thing to just knowing it.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

"Yeah..." Thomas sighed and he nodded, his head hanging a little with the shame of it. "I got used to it when I was alive. At first it was...so loud and poundy. But then I got used to it. The way it sped up when someone I loved walked into the room. Even...when I was afraid. I'm so afraid now and...there's nothing. Sometimes...it makes me feel empty." He whispered the last part. He hadn't told that to anyone.

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

Scarlett pulled back enough so that she could look up at him, blue eyes a little sad that he felt that way. "I don't think you're empty," she told him, and her found herself uncurling her fingers and gently placing them where his heart was. "The sound, the rhythm, that's not the important part," she said. "It's what you do with it, it's what you love and hold close that matters." Her eyes were on his as she spoke, sure of her words. Thomas had more heart than anyone, even if it was silent.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Thomas smiled lightly at her and he leaned his forehead down to touch hers. Quietly, he whispered, "thank you."

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

Scarlett smiled slowly and then, without thinking ahead to all the ways it was foolish and wrong, she tilted her head up so she could kiss him, her lips pressed gently to his.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Thomas' eyes went wide as Scarlett kissed him. He froze for a moment while his brain caught up with him. Was she just being friendly? Because this was really friendly... Was she confused? Was he having a very, very strange dream?

Does it matter?! You're still kissing her!

Thomas pulled away then, though he didn't go far. He still had a gentle grip on her arms. "Scar-" he breathed her name out slowly, breathlessly. "W..what are you doing?"

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

Her name on his lips made her murmur a tiny sound of happiness but it was his next words that really got through to her. What are you doing? Oh goddess, what was she doing?? Scarlett turned her face to the side quickly, closing her eyes. "I- I'm so sorry," she whispered, but she didn't move away from him any further. He still had his hands on her arms and she felt like it would be rude to yank herself free. (Rude?? She'd just kissed him! She couldn't be much ruder!)

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

"No...no, it's okay. It's okay." Right. So it was an accident. Something brought on by whatever was happening here between the three of them...just without Stephie.

It was wrong was what it was. Thomas closed his eyes against the terrible thoughts that rose in his mind. He hadn't stopped her right away. She was beautiful and of course the part of him that was very male wanted her, even if he didn't think about her in that way. Thomas had kissed Peter, he had slept with Kat...he had a husband and a wife. He felt that if something happened enough times, you had to stop and ask why. Why wasn't one person good enough? Why couldn't he not keep making mistakes like this. He hadn't kissed Scarlett, but it had happened. She had kissed him. Obviously he had sent some signal and-

"I'm sorry. I...I can't. I do love you, Scarlett. But I can't."

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

Scarlett shook her head. "I know," she told him quickly, eyes still closed face still turned away. "I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. And- I don't know why I just did that. I'm- you've got people and I've got people and I just- I need to stop being such an idiot." She bit down hard on her lip. She didn't want to start crying in front of him.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

"You're not an idiot. Scarlett, I don't think you're an idiot..." Thomas reached to hug her, trying very much not to think of the way her lips felt.

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

The hug felt awkward and Scarlett pulled away from it sooner than she wanted to. Hanging her head. "It's so stupid, because I practically killed you when we were locked up in there and you forgave me for that and I don't even know how but-" she looked up at him, her eyes a little shiny with tears she refused to shed. "You're amazing. Honestly amazing. You saved all of us in there and then you just keep doing it and it's no wonder that everyone loves you because I don't think I've ever met anyone as amazing and wonderful and selfless." Her voice was filled with a soft awe as she watched him, and she felt utterly exposed as she spoke.

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

Thomas blinked, certainly not expecting her to go on expounding virtues he didn't really believe he had. He wasn't going to argue with her, however. He was much more accepting of praise than Peter was, though this was Scarlett explaining why she had kissed him, or so he believed. "I forgave you because you don't deserve guilt for something you had no control over, and I can't stand to hold a grudge." Amaris excluded, and she always would be. He had forgiven Svetlana for killing him because she had been terrified for her life. Amaris was just a whore who liked pain. "And the rest of it...I did it because I had to. But thank you. For saying it. I don't think it's stupid, Scarlett."

How often could he repeat himself?!

"I think you're amazing too. You aren't letting those men take that from you. You haven't let them take who you are. This...this was just...an outpouring of something you didn't know how to say, maybe?"

[scarlettvoices.livejournal.com]

She'd lowered her head as he spoke, and she didn't really believe the things he said. It was easier not to look at him so he wouldn't see that the praise just made her feel ashamed to be so far away from those virtues he claimed to see in her.

To his question though she shrugged. "I don't even know," she said with a crack in her voice, and she was quiet. "I just- I feel safe when you're near to me and I feel... better. Like everything is better."

[suave-thomas.livejournal.com]

"Well you are safe," Thomas replied, because that was true. "I won't let anything hurt you. Not if I can help it. Never."