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Stephie had parked herself in her favourite tunnel, back against one side and feet pressed against the other, resting her head on her knees. She was watching the road on the far side of the skate park in the hope that she'd see Ry coming.
Ry.
She had no idea what she was going to say, so she watched the night instead. The wet concrete smeared orange and white as the streetlights reflected down on them; the dark shapes of the ramps sitting quietly against the night; the swings creaking slowly back an forth as the wind played with them. There was a constant trickle of traffic on the road, but the streach of park seemed longer, tonight, and the roar of the vehicles seemed distant. It was still only a quarter to eight, but she hadn't been able to wait around inside. Anticipation. Anxiety. Maybe a bit of fear.
God, what was she going to do if he didn't want her anymore? She couldn't really blame him- oh who was she kidding, she'd find a way to blame him. Her brain was too good at that.
She heard footsteps on the grass and her stomach turned over, she had to make a conscious effort to stop her heart making a break for it out her throat. She should not be this nervous! He was only a boy, for godssake! Except he wasn't.
What was she going to say?
She probably saw the bright red end of his cancer stick before seeing his silhouette in the early night. Rhea had asked for him to read her a bedtime story before she went to bed, so he was running late.
Keep it cool, mate. He was sure it was Jocelin's voice in his head as he walked towards meeting Slink. Yeah, cool. That he had no problem with. It was the whether he decided to hold onto the way she had been to him directly before he left that he was undecided over. Why would she wanna talk to him now, then?
Stephie emerged from her tunnel slowly, keeping her eyes on his dark form. He looked different, but perhaps it was the night or his recent absence speaking. Perhaps it was only her eyes that had changed, was she seeing differently or was that just longing?
She barely knew where she stood with herself, how could she possibly find footing around him?
"Hey," she said, at last.
He breathed out a lungful of cigarette as she came out of the tunnel and into sight. "Hey yourself."
Her breath skipped and the only reply immediately available to her was another 'hey', so she gave up on words and walked over to him till she was inches away from his face. She gently took his cigarette hand and moved it away from his mouth, and kissed him.
Not questioning, he kissed her back until slowly she stepped back. He gave a little half smile, before glancing down at her hand that held his cigarette between first two fingers and said ironically, "Mind if I get that back off you now?"
"Yeah," she said, quietly, handing the cigarette back to its rightful owner. He kissed me! She folded her arms and looked down at the ground, then back up at his face, and smiled sheepishly. "I overreacted." she said. "Majorly. And I fucked things up between us and- I'm not good at reacting, I guess you know what by now. The easier way to deal with things is to get angry at something and I think I've gotten so used to that that it's almost automatic, and," she exhaled. "I'm sorry. I never meant to be such a bitch. Not to you."
"Yeah, you did," Ry said, not mincing words. "And you were." Crux time. Was all forgiven? He rolled his eyes and was glad for the darkness that masked some of his expression. Time enough later to make decisions.
"Gotta say, this is a relief at least," he said, meaning that she had given the cigarette back. He took a drag of it, then lifted it up. "These things'll kill you."
She smiled. "Honesty. Thank you. And yeah, you were just doing what you thought was best and I can see that and no hard feelings? I," she pushed her hair behind her ear, "missed you."
)
Ry shrugged. No hard feelings. Okay. He nodded and started wandering, encouraging her with a look to follow along with. "Missed me? I was only gone two odd weeks. Wish I'd taken pictures now. Coulda shown them to you. There was this really weird woman who picked me up when I was hitch hiking..."
"Weird like her boobs pointed in different directions or weird like us?" Stephie asked, falling into step beside Ry. That had almost been too easy, and she was feeling suspicious of... something. She couldn't place it, something just felt a little off. Maybe it was her, building this meeting up in her head only to have him be so easy with her. So she let it go, shoved her cold hands in her pockets and smiled up at him, listening to him talk as they moved through the park.
Weird like... Ry smirked. "Okay, first of all, she was a middle aged woman, and I was so not looking at her boobs. Second of all, no, I don't think someone gets to that age and stays like us." Ry shuddered. "God, at least, I hope not. In no way do I wanna get to 40-something and still be the same as I am now."
Stephie laughed and nudged his shoulder with his, playfully. "We'd never cope! People only put up with us because we're so good looking, you know. That's not going to help when we're fourty."
Ry glanced at the end of his cigarette. Another drag and he'd be dragging on filter. Mmm, unappetising. Disheartedly, he flicked the stub away and glanced at Slink.
"The trust's gone. You should know that. You say you're sorry, and that's cool. That you were a bitch, and I understand. We're good friends, Slink, at least I like to think so. But I trusted you. I never expected that from you, especially after everything with the..."
He didn't say the word, but 'pregnancy' hung in the air a moment between them all the same. He ran his hand through his hair. "Look, what I mean to say is, you are a good friend. I don't want that thrown away. But... I can't let you straight back in. I don't trust easily, Slink. You of all people know that."
"You never expected me to blow up at you when I though you were being a cock and treating me like some stupid little kid?" Stephie asked, eyebrows raised. "Honestly? "Ry, I-" Stephie began, stopped, and exhaled, tucking her hands under her arms. Her hair fell over her face and she spoke from underneath it. "I was so upset, and I don't know how to do upset without fucking something up- and I'm sorry it had to be us- and," she ran her hands through her hair, frustrated. "Look, okay, don't let me back in. Whatever. I deserve it. Just tell me, 'especially after the' what? Because if you're talking about what I think you're talking abuot then I need to know."
"I cut off for a reason," Ry said. "The word was 'pregnancy', and the reason I cut off was because I was there for you, not for something to hold over you now. I was there because you needed me, or I thought you did. Full stop."
His heart softened, "And look, you haven't fucked us up. I'm still talking to you, aren't I?"
Stephie hugged her arms in a little closer to herself and looked blankly at the ground. "Sorry," she said, looking up at him and trying to smile. "And yeah... you were, and I did- do. Need you, I mean. I never thanked you for that. Sorry," she kicked at a loose stone and watched it go scuttling off into the grass. "I mean, thanks."
"And I mean, you're welcome," Ry said with a little smirk that he wasn't sure she would see in the relative darkness around them.
Stephie let out a long breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. "Yeah yeah, we all know I'm not good at stringing coherent sentences together under pressure," she poked out her tongue.
"Careful where you poke that thing, or someone's gonna bite it off," Ry said smartly, reaching in his pocket for another cigarette.
Ry.
She had no idea what she was going to say, so she watched the night instead. The wet concrete smeared orange and white as the streetlights reflected down on them; the dark shapes of the ramps sitting quietly against the night; the swings creaking slowly back an forth as the wind played with them. There was a constant trickle of traffic on the road, but the streach of park seemed longer, tonight, and the roar of the vehicles seemed distant. It was still only a quarter to eight, but she hadn't been able to wait around inside. Anticipation. Anxiety. Maybe a bit of fear.
God, what was she going to do if he didn't want her anymore? She couldn't really blame him- oh who was she kidding, she'd find a way to blame him. Her brain was too good at that.
She heard footsteps on the grass and her stomach turned over, she had to make a conscious effort to stop her heart making a break for it out her throat. She should not be this nervous! He was only a boy, for godssake! Except he wasn't.
What was she going to say?
She probably saw the bright red end of his cancer stick before seeing his silhouette in the early night. Rhea had asked for him to read her a bedtime story before she went to bed, so he was running late.
Keep it cool, mate. He was sure it was Jocelin's voice in his head as he walked towards meeting Slink. Yeah, cool. That he had no problem with. It was the whether he decided to hold onto the way she had been to him directly before he left that he was undecided over. Why would she wanna talk to him now, then?
Stephie emerged from her tunnel slowly, keeping her eyes on his dark form. He looked different, but perhaps it was the night or his recent absence speaking. Perhaps it was only her eyes that had changed, was she seeing differently or was that just longing?
She barely knew where she stood with herself, how could she possibly find footing around him?
"Hey," she said, at last.
He breathed out a lungful of cigarette as she came out of the tunnel and into sight. "Hey yourself."
Her breath skipped and the only reply immediately available to her was another 'hey', so she gave up on words and walked over to him till she was inches away from his face. She gently took his cigarette hand and moved it away from his mouth, and kissed him.
Not questioning, he kissed her back until slowly she stepped back. He gave a little half smile, before glancing down at her hand that held his cigarette between first two fingers and said ironically, "Mind if I get that back off you now?"
"Yeah," she said, quietly, handing the cigarette back to its rightful owner. He kissed me! She folded her arms and looked down at the ground, then back up at his face, and smiled sheepishly. "I overreacted." she said. "Majorly. And I fucked things up between us and- I'm not good at reacting, I guess you know what by now. The easier way to deal with things is to get angry at something and I think I've gotten so used to that that it's almost automatic, and," she exhaled. "I'm sorry. I never meant to be such a bitch. Not to you."
"Yeah, you did," Ry said, not mincing words. "And you were." Crux time. Was all forgiven? He rolled his eyes and was glad for the darkness that masked some of his expression. Time enough later to make decisions.
"Gotta say, this is a relief at least," he said, meaning that she had given the cigarette back. He took a drag of it, then lifted it up. "These things'll kill you."
She smiled. "Honesty. Thank you. And yeah, you were just doing what you thought was best and I can see that and no hard feelings? I," she pushed her hair behind her ear, "missed you."
)
Ry shrugged. No hard feelings. Okay. He nodded and started wandering, encouraging her with a look to follow along with. "Missed me? I was only gone two odd weeks. Wish I'd taken pictures now. Coulda shown them to you. There was this really weird woman who picked me up when I was hitch hiking..."
"Weird like her boobs pointed in different directions or weird like us?" Stephie asked, falling into step beside Ry. That had almost been too easy, and she was feeling suspicious of... something. She couldn't place it, something just felt a little off. Maybe it was her, building this meeting up in her head only to have him be so easy with her. So she let it go, shoved her cold hands in her pockets and smiled up at him, listening to him talk as they moved through the park.
Weird like... Ry smirked. "Okay, first of all, she was a middle aged woman, and I was so not looking at her boobs. Second of all, no, I don't think someone gets to that age and stays like us." Ry shuddered. "God, at least, I hope not. In no way do I wanna get to 40-something and still be the same as I am now."
Stephie laughed and nudged his shoulder with his, playfully. "We'd never cope! People only put up with us because we're so good looking, you know. That's not going to help when we're fourty."
Ry glanced at the end of his cigarette. Another drag and he'd be dragging on filter. Mmm, unappetising. Disheartedly, he flicked the stub away and glanced at Slink.
"The trust's gone. You should know that. You say you're sorry, and that's cool. That you were a bitch, and I understand. We're good friends, Slink, at least I like to think so. But I trusted you. I never expected that from you, especially after everything with the..."
He didn't say the word, but 'pregnancy' hung in the air a moment between them all the same. He ran his hand through his hair. "Look, what I mean to say is, you are a good friend. I don't want that thrown away. But... I can't let you straight back in. I don't trust easily, Slink. You of all people know that."
"You never expected me to blow up at you when I though you were being a cock and treating me like some stupid little kid?" Stephie asked, eyebrows raised. "Honestly? "Ry, I-" Stephie began, stopped, and exhaled, tucking her hands under her arms. Her hair fell over her face and she spoke from underneath it. "I was so upset, and I don't know how to do upset without fucking something up- and I'm sorry it had to be us- and," she ran her hands through her hair, frustrated. "Look, okay, don't let me back in. Whatever. I deserve it. Just tell me, 'especially after the' what? Because if you're talking about what I think you're talking abuot then I need to know."
"I cut off for a reason," Ry said. "The word was 'pregnancy', and the reason I cut off was because I was there for you, not for something to hold over you now. I was there because you needed me, or I thought you did. Full stop."
His heart softened, "And look, you haven't fucked us up. I'm still talking to you, aren't I?"
Stephie hugged her arms in a little closer to herself and looked blankly at the ground. "Sorry," she said, looking up at him and trying to smile. "And yeah... you were, and I did- do. Need you, I mean. I never thanked you for that. Sorry," she kicked at a loose stone and watched it go scuttling off into the grass. "I mean, thanks."
"And I mean, you're welcome," Ry said with a little smirk that he wasn't sure she would see in the relative darkness around them.
Stephie let out a long breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. "Yeah yeah, we all know I'm not good at stringing coherent sentences together under pressure," she poked out her tongue.
"Careful where you poke that thing, or someone's gonna bite it off," Ry said smartly, reaching in his pocket for another cigarette.
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