Seeking (Deirdre and then Thomas and Peter)
Sep. 4th, 2011 12:46 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
deirdre-ionuin.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
darker_londonBackdated to after this
Deirdre had awakened before the rest of the house as usual. Ever since Jude moved out, she tended to spend her mornings alone if her twins were gone, and they were with their father.
The past year had been horrible for Deirdre. Her best friend had disappeared and then her family had been killed or broken because of her. Her marriage had failed within hours of it even occurring. If she was being honest with herself, ever since Kait's death, her life had been one long series of shitty events.
In those mornings where she was alone, that was when she missed her girlfriend the most. Deirdre would close herself up in the library with a cup of tea and a book, the early morning light streaming into the room, gradually lightening enough so that Deirdre could switch the light off. The door to the right, concealing the dark room that Deirdre hadn't entered since Kait's death mocked her.
It had been almost two years. She was supposed to have a perfect little family with her Kait, and if not Kait, then Giles. But it just wasn't supposed to be.
In the silence, Deirdre read the same line in her book for the fourth time before groaning and tossing the book to the ground. "Dammit," she hissed under her breath.
Deirdre heaved herself off the chair, her purple blanket pooling at her feet before she stepped over it. Her bare feet were cold against the wooden floor as she padded across to the dark room door. "Kaitie," Deirdre whispered, knowing Kait might hear her, "basically since you left, everything has been shit. And I have to miss you forever. I have to live forever without you." She was immortal and Kait was gone. She might as well stop avoiding that damn room, or she was going to be staying out of it forever.
Her hand fell onto the gaudy red-crystal doorknob and slowly, drawing a breath, Deirdre opened the door.
The room smelled of dust and developing solution long gone dry. Deirdre reached out and flipped the closest lightswitch mistaking it for the white light. Instead the room was flooded with red. She was reminded of sneaking down here with both Kait and Renee and making love on the floor with the ruby light illuminating Kait's pale skin and lighting up Renee's dark hair. Biting back tears and the memory, Deirdre quickly switched that light off, flicking on the other one.
Deirdre found herself staring at lines and lines of hanging pictures. They were obviously photographs Kait had developed and hung to dry before Peter had called and asked her help in retrieving Tasha; a mission she wouldn't return from. Her smiling face stared back at her, posing in ridiculous ways and pointing to her huge baby belly. In one photograph she was sitting on Flynn's lap and laughing so hard her head was thrown back and her mane of red hair was caught in the wind like a crimson flag. There were photos of Pierre and Matthew cutely waving, and Jinx flexing his muscles. Of Stephie waving a peace sign in the photographer's direction. Of Peter looking both uncomfortable and loving at once. Of Thomas planting a kiss on Abby's forehead. Of Lavinia posing in her hotpants. There was a photo Kait had set up on a timer on the balcony of herself kissing Deirdre.
Deirdre's breath caught in her throat, and she backed out of the room, hitting the lightswitch as she went. She slammed it home and then, stopping long enough only to toe into some shoes, she ran out the door and down the walkway to the footpath that would lead her to Peter's.
The autumn morning air was cold in her lungs as she ran the ten minutes to the Kemp house. She paused at the gate to key in the code and then she sprinted up the driveway, the gravel crunching under her feet. The door swung open without needed a key, a sign that Peter had been distracted when he had gone to bed, if he was even asleep.
Deirdre knew that Peter's family was in Spain, though she had never really been one to be mindful of privacy anyway. She figured that Peter would be alone in his bed, though when she found Thomas sleeping beside him she was hardly surprised. Deirdre didn't even try to wake them, she just crawled into bed between them, which was something of a feat since they tended to be as close as possible like magnets. The second Deirdre's head hit the pillow, a long, choking sob ripping from her throat. She turned her face down, crying into the pillow as Peter stirred beside her.
To his credit, Peter didn't seem shocked to randomly find a crying demon in his bed who hadn't been there when he had fallen asleep. "Deirdre," he asked, his voice crackling with sleep. Somehow he still managed to sound more concerned that tired. "Deirdre, what's wrong?"
Deirdre shook her head. How could she manage to say 'everything'. Instead she kept crying as she felt Peter's hand on her side.
"Do you just need to cry?" Peter asked as Thomas' eyes slowly opened.
Deirdre nodded and, bless Peter, she felt him pull her into his arms. She let him, burying her face in his chest. A moment later Thomas' hands started to rub her back and she started to feel a little better.
"Whatever it is, we love you, Deirdre," Thomas said softly. And Deirdre was thankful to hear it.
Deirdre had awakened before the rest of the house as usual. Ever since Jude moved out, she tended to spend her mornings alone if her twins were gone, and they were with their father.
The past year had been horrible for Deirdre. Her best friend had disappeared and then her family had been killed or broken because of her. Her marriage had failed within hours of it even occurring. If she was being honest with herself, ever since Kait's death, her life had been one long series of shitty events.
In those mornings where she was alone, that was when she missed her girlfriend the most. Deirdre would close herself up in the library with a cup of tea and a book, the early morning light streaming into the room, gradually lightening enough so that Deirdre could switch the light off. The door to the right, concealing the dark room that Deirdre hadn't entered since Kait's death mocked her.
It had been almost two years. She was supposed to have a perfect little family with her Kait, and if not Kait, then Giles. But it just wasn't supposed to be.
In the silence, Deirdre read the same line in her book for the fourth time before groaning and tossing the book to the ground. "Dammit," she hissed under her breath.
Deirdre heaved herself off the chair, her purple blanket pooling at her feet before she stepped over it. Her bare feet were cold against the wooden floor as she padded across to the dark room door. "Kaitie," Deirdre whispered, knowing Kait might hear her, "basically since you left, everything has been shit. And I have to miss you forever. I have to live forever without you." She was immortal and Kait was gone. She might as well stop avoiding that damn room, or she was going to be staying out of it forever.
Her hand fell onto the gaudy red-crystal doorknob and slowly, drawing a breath, Deirdre opened the door.
The room smelled of dust and developing solution long gone dry. Deirdre reached out and flipped the closest lightswitch mistaking it for the white light. Instead the room was flooded with red. She was reminded of sneaking down here with both Kait and Renee and making love on the floor with the ruby light illuminating Kait's pale skin and lighting up Renee's dark hair. Biting back tears and the memory, Deirdre quickly switched that light off, flicking on the other one.
Deirdre found herself staring at lines and lines of hanging pictures. They were obviously photographs Kait had developed and hung to dry before Peter had called and asked her help in retrieving Tasha; a mission she wouldn't return from. Her smiling face stared back at her, posing in ridiculous ways and pointing to her huge baby belly. In one photograph she was sitting on Flynn's lap and laughing so hard her head was thrown back and her mane of red hair was caught in the wind like a crimson flag. There were photos of Pierre and Matthew cutely waving, and Jinx flexing his muscles. Of Stephie waving a peace sign in the photographer's direction. Of Peter looking both uncomfortable and loving at once. Of Thomas planting a kiss on Abby's forehead. Of Lavinia posing in her hotpants. There was a photo Kait had set up on a timer on the balcony of herself kissing Deirdre.
Deirdre's breath caught in her throat, and she backed out of the room, hitting the lightswitch as she went. She slammed it home and then, stopping long enough only to toe into some shoes, she ran out the door and down the walkway to the footpath that would lead her to Peter's.
The autumn morning air was cold in her lungs as she ran the ten minutes to the Kemp house. She paused at the gate to key in the code and then she sprinted up the driveway, the gravel crunching under her feet. The door swung open without needed a key, a sign that Peter had been distracted when he had gone to bed, if he was even asleep.
Deirdre knew that Peter's family was in Spain, though she had never really been one to be mindful of privacy anyway. She figured that Peter would be alone in his bed, though when she found Thomas sleeping beside him she was hardly surprised. Deirdre didn't even try to wake them, she just crawled into bed between them, which was something of a feat since they tended to be as close as possible like magnets. The second Deirdre's head hit the pillow, a long, choking sob ripping from her throat. She turned her face down, crying into the pillow as Peter stirred beside her.
To his credit, Peter didn't seem shocked to randomly find a crying demon in his bed who hadn't been there when he had fallen asleep. "Deirdre," he asked, his voice crackling with sleep. Somehow he still managed to sound more concerned that tired. "Deirdre, what's wrong?"
Deirdre shook her head. How could she manage to say 'everything'. Instead she kept crying as she felt Peter's hand on her side.
"Do you just need to cry?" Peter asked as Thomas' eyes slowly opened.
Deirdre nodded and, bless Peter, she felt him pull her into his arms. She let him, burying her face in his chest. A moment later Thomas' hands started to rub her back and she started to feel a little better.
"Whatever it is, we love you, Deirdre," Thomas said softly. And Deirdre was thankful to hear it.
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