darker_london | Gone (Deirdre, Peter)

Being back at Victoria Lane was bittersweet. In the weeks following Kait's death, Deirdre had spent every waking moment, and even the non-waking ones at Spectre and Flynn's house in an attempt to avoid spending time in the room she had shared with her beloved girlfriend. Now, however, it had been months. She couldn't justify invading their space anymore, even if neither of them would refuse her. Spectre had been reunited with Thomas after a very long separation, and it was the same for Flynn and Quinn.

Deirdre had no one to come home to. That was when it had really snapped into place. Kait wasn't just elsewhere. Deirdre wasn't just separated from her for a few months while she toured, as had happened several times. She was gone. For good. Really gone. And she had left behind the very messy task of cleaning out her things.

Boxes were strewn all over Deirdre's room and stuff absolutely carpeted the floor. It was not Deirdre's normal way of things. She was usually an unerringly neat person who cleaned for fun. But ridding her room of Kait's things was not fun. And it was worse now that she was eight months pregnant. Even so, she had turned down absolutely every chivalrous offer of help from the males she lived with even though every single one of them had looked at her with concern as she slowly closed the door in their faces. She would have turned down help from Flynn and Spectre too. Only one person could get through to her now, and it was most fortunate that he arrived at her door while she was in the midst of tossing things out of her closet.

"Deirdre?" Peter closed the door behind him and he sidestepped just in time to avoid getting mauled by a skirt. He deftly caught a high heeled shoe which had followed the skirt, and then he repeated her name, more loudly this time.

"AUGH!" Deirdre stuck her head out of the closet and she raised her pale eyebrows at him. "Peter?!"

"You...didn't feel me coming?" She was a demon, and usually she could sense his slightly-angelic feel from a block away because she was so attuned to his presence.

Deirdre didn't answer. Instead she picked her way across the room and she hugged him so tightly he squeaked. "Sweetheart, I don't know if this is entirely good for the babies..." he whispered to her, and she reluctantly let go.

"Hi, Peter." She smiled sadly up at him, and her hands clung to his arms, her fingers balled up in his shirt. "I love you, don't go okay?"

"I love you too, Sweetheart. And I'm not going anywhere." He glanced around the room again, and for a second he looked like he feared the mess might try to attack him. Peter was more clean than Deirdre was, which was saying a great deal. "Do you...want some help here?"

Deirdre shook her head. "No. No, I don't want help because I don't want to have to do this at all. Peter...how..." Deirdre choked and she buried her face in Peter's chest. "I wish it would all just disappear. All of it."

"Deirdre..." Peter wrapped his arms around her and he kissed her head. "There might come a day where you regret getting rid of Kait's things. I know it hurts to see them now..."

Deirdre groaned into Peter's shirt but she nodded. "I know. Just...not now. I don't want to see it now."

"Alright. You're going to come stay at my house and when you come back, this will all be taken care of. Kait's things will be in a safe place and you won't have to worry about it. They'll be waiting for you when you're ready."

Deirdre looked up at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "I can stay with you?"

"I insist."

"And...you'd do that for me?"

"Deirdre. If our history has taught you anything, it should be that I would do absolutely anything for you."

Deirdre sniffled and then she laughed and nodded. "Yeah...good point." She glanced around the room and then back to Peter. "You can leave her stuffed bear. I...I want the babies to have that."

Peter nodded. "No problem. Come on, Sweetheart." Peter started to lead her out of the room, but Deirdre pulled him back. She hadn't seen him since leaving for the US, and since then he had been abducted and held by insane fundies. Even though Deirdre considered Spectre her soul mate and Flynn her best friend, Peter was her soul. There was no doubt about how much he meant to her. He had been hers first, before he had been anyone else's here. Even before he had been Aly's. Even before he had been Anna's. She loved him and she hadn't been able to save him.

Deirdre reached a pale hand up to touch his cheek and she looked into his brown eyes. "Peter, are you okay?"

"No," Peter said truthfully. "But I will be. Taking care of you will absolutely help that." Gently he rested his hands against her belly. "And your children too. Are they asleep?"

Deirdre nodded, smiling gently, her expression glowing. She only tended to showcase that particular expression when speaking about her children. "They are, but they like it when I sing. And they go nuts when I take a bath. It's awesome. And I want to name the boy baby after you, Peter. Gabriel. I want to name him Gab...Peter?"

Peter's eyes had gone blank and his skin had paled to an unhealthy white. A second later, Peter fell backwards into a pile of Kait's clothes. "Peter!" Deirdre tried, rather ungracefully, to bend over. "Why do you always do this when I'm pregnant!" Deirdre watched helplessly as Peter jerked around for about twenty seconds, and then he stilled.

When Peter opened his eyes, Deirdre was leaning over him looking absolutely terrified. "Peter Kemp! Stop that!"

Peter sat bolt upright, almost colliding into Deirdre's head as he did so. "Oh shit, Lydia!"

Deirdre blinked and then she struggled to her feet as Peter jumped up and then leaned against her wall to combat the dizziness his seizure brought on. "Peter, what about Lydia?!"

"I..." Peter looked over at Deirdre, his expression apologetic. "I have to go, I'm so sorry! I'll be back okay? I'll be back to get you soon, I promise!" He leaned in to kiss her cheek and then he was gone.

Deirdre sighed. She absolutely knew Peter would keep his promise because that was what he did. It did hurt a little to be left, even if he was doing it for his daughter. Deirdre fancied herself to be Peter's daughter too, but in the grand scheme of things, she wasn't. She was someone else's daughter.

Slowly, and very, very carefully, Deirdre made her way downstairs. She picked up the phone, dialled, and waited for someone to pick up.

"Hi, Finian? Yeah, it's me. Can you come get me? I don't want to be here anymore." A small smile crossed Deirdre's face as she could hear her step-father immediately going for his keys. "Peter's going to come pick me up later, but until then, I'd like to be with you."