darker_london | Moving On (Flynn, Quinn)

"It wasn't your fault!" Flynn blurted to Quinn from the doorway of the telly room. Spectre had said that maybe Quinn blamed what Flynn had had to do on himself and Flynn knew he had to tell Quinn that wasn't how it had been. And he didn't want to forget what to say or not get the chance to get it out, so he blurted it. And then wished he'd said it better...

Quinn looked up in surprise. He hadn't even realised Flynn had entered the room, he'd been so quiet. Then he sighed and licked his lips. If Flynn was going to barge right in to it, he might as well too. "I feel like it was."

Flynn was just glad that Quinn hadn't thrown him right back out again, and he slunk in to the room and he sat next to Quinn on the sofa. He didn't reach for Quinn at all, however. "No. Of course it wasn't your fault. Nothing was your fault, Quinn." It broke his heart that Quinn felt that way.

"But...okay, I was the one who couldn't handle the things we were both going through. We were both homeless. You were sick too, Mal! You were just as hungry as I was. Just as cold, and afraid and everything else. But somehow, I was the only one who couldn't deal. The things you did for me..." Quinn reached forward, cupping Flynn's cheek, and Flynn didn't pull away. "I was the one you went fossicing around in bins for, and I was the one you apparently sold yourself for, and I was the one you ended up alone for. I felt this way before, and now, knowing you let people pay you for sex just to feed me...sometimes it's just...really hard to forgive myself for that. For all of it."

"But I do." Flynn said simply. "I never thought there was anything to forgive in the first place. But if you need someone to forgive you so you can do the same...I do." Of all the things Flynn thought he'd need to say, that he forgave Quinn, was not one of them. He assumed he'd be the one begging for forgiveness.

Quinn closed his eyes and he breathed a deep breath that turned in to a half-hearted chuckle. "I guess I didn't know how much I sorely needed to hear that." Quinn said, opening his eyes and gazing at Flynn fondly. "Thank you." He could forgive himself if Flynn did.

"So you're not...I thought you might be angry with me. For uhm...cheating or...something."

Quinn shook his head. "No. I mean...I don't like it. I suppose the idea that you've slept with...a lot of people- I suppose that's a little confronting, but it doesn't make me angry. It makes me worried..." They were always safe when they did anything sexual, but Quinn still didn't want Flynn to be sick.

"Abby made me get tested." Flynn said quickly. "She said it was for Hepatitis and stuff, but she ordered tests for everything. STDs and HIV. I'm clean. And if I hadn't known that, I never would have been with you until I was sure. I wouldn't risk you." Flynn turned his head, and he kissed Quinn's hand gently. "I love you, Quinn. I'd do anything for you."

"Yes...this I can see..." Quinn placed his hands in his lap and he looked down at them. "Mal? Can you promise me something?"

"Anything." Flynn said, leaning forward a little.

"If you are ever going through something...even if it's something you think I shouldn't know to protect me...can you tell me anyway? I need to know. Because I love you too, and I think the thing that bothers me most, beyond feeling guilty, is that you were out there going through something horrible and I couldn't help you. Not that I was in much of a state to help anyone, but at least I would have known what you were dealing with..."

"Okay." Flynn said quietly. "I promise."

"Thank you." Quinn leaned forward and he kissed Flynn's nose. "And never ever spend the night outside again!"

"I thought you wouldn't want me inside!" Flynn protested.

"That's where you're a dummy." Quinn said fondly. "Come on. Let's get you something to eat. Something tells me you haven't been taking advantage of my mother's hospitality today either."

"What if they hate me because we had a fight!?" Flynn squeaked.

"Pfft. Eamon was in here earlier. He told me to get over myself. I think you're safe. Besides, I'll protect you." He leaned forward and he kissed Flynn softly on the lips. And Flynn finally let himself feel relieved. Quinn hadn't left him. Things were fine. Better. They'd gotten through their first fight unscathed. When Quinn pulled away, Flynn just smiled at him, gently, letting his expression tell Quinn everything he needed to know.