darker_london | Wise Peterpants (Thomas, Peter)

Thomas let himself in to Peter's house and he was blindsided by a frantically hugging Peter the second he got in the door. Thomas ruffled his best friend's hair as Peter clung, and Thomas couldn't help a small smile, though it faded quickly. "This is a nicer reception than the last time I came over here before leaving the country." Thomas remarked, remembering the time only weeks ago when Peter had punched him in the face upon his arrival. This reception was odd, considering the circumstances behind his motivations this time were because he screwed up. Last time they'd been to save people.

"Yeah well...you know me. Unpredictable." Peter said against Thomas's shoulder. Without saying anything else, Peter led Thomas up four flights of stairs and then up the ladder in to the attic and out on to the roof. It was a good place to talk. Separate from prying eyes or ears. And there was fresh air, even if it was cold. "So...what's going on here?" Peter asked softly after they'd settled down on the roof. Thomas didn't cheat on people. Something had to be going on.

"It's...hard to explain." Thomas admitted. "I...I'm not even exactly sure what I did. Or why I did it. She...Kat. She kissed me and I just...froze. I didn't stop her. I should have stopped her."

Peter squinted off in to the distance and he nodded once. "Yeah. You should have. But you didn't. And instead of focusing on what you should have done...what are you doing now?"

Thomas sighed and he leaned back against the roof, gazing up into the sky. "Going to Sweden to see Spectre. Not so sure after that. I don't even know how that'll go. He says he forgives me but...I..should he?"

"That's up to him, not to me." Peter said simply. "And it's really not up to you either." He added for good measure.

Thomas screwed up his face and he let out a sigh. "Yeah...That's...true. I'll keep it in mind."

"Good." Peter pulled out his cigarettes and he lit one inhaling deeply and blowing the smoke out slowly to give him time before he said anything else. "Do you think you need to erm...speak to someone about why this happened?"

"Are you trying to talk me in to utilizing your nuthatch, Peter Kemp?" Thomas asked, turning to Peter with an odd look on his face.

"Absolutely." Peter admitted. "And Abby's been trying it for a while, or so she tells me. Since Rome. And it appears...there's erm...some issues there... Maybe now that you're aware there are, you should...at least try it. Never know. It might help."

Thomas sighed. "Therapy for dead people. Peter...you're a weird bloke."

Peter laughed, smoke curling around his lips. "Don't know any other way to be."

"I suppose I'll look in to that when I come back." Thomas looked back at the clouds then, trying to make out shapes in them. "More important things first. Taking care of Spectre." Thomas sighed heavily. "I really thought I was okay..about Amaris and Rome, I mean. I..I didn't think I was this messed up."

"It's usually less obvious until you have a reason to notice." Peter said flatly. "I'm sorry Kat gave you one...uhm...how is she?"

"I stayed with her last night. Couldn't leave her alone after what she almost did to herself last year. And she's with Ethan and Kali now. I have no idea if she's told Alessa."

Peter nodded, worried about his cousin. "I'll ring her later, but I'm not entirely sure she'll want to talk to me about it. All I can do is try."

"You try well, Peter." Thomas turned to look at him and he put his hand on Peter's knee. "Peter...are you...do you think less of me?"

"No." Peter answered immediately. "I don't. Not for a second. I think you made a mistake. A big one. But how you're reacting now proves the kind of person you are. And holding it against you despite that would not be fair of me. Or anyone, for that matter. You're not Katherine, Thomas. She went behind my back for years without telling me and when I found out, she didn't apologise. She didn't care. She was upset I knew, but only because she'd been caught. This isn't the same. And anyone who sees it that way is clearly blind. You do so much for people. Making a mistake doesn't take that away."

"You've always been good at looking past people's mistakes..."

"Because they are part of a person. Part of what forms them." Peter stubbed out his cigarette on the roof and he turned to face Thomas. "You can't focus just on the mistake, that's like focusing on one part of a piece of art or...what have you. A person isn't a thread, they're a tapestry. A picture made up of all their threads and experiences. And if you pull on one thread, the whole thing falls apart and you wind up staring at the wall. You have to take the whole thing. And I rather like your...whole thing. Some people...they do undesirable things, and the picture they make up is also undesirable. They don't learn from their mistakes and they're not sorry. They do what they want and they wound indiscriminately...those people I have no interest in knowing. I have an interest in helping them change, but I don't really want to have dinner with them. But the people who screw up occasionally, but still make up a gorgeous whole...those are the people I love. Everyone screws up. I'd rather accept that and move on than be an unforgiving bigot. We all know how well that works out for people. They end up embittered. Knowing how to accept fault, or that other people sometimes screw up without meaning to and they're sorry about it...that's important."

"Is that what you did with Dietrich?"

"Heh...yeah. He's a good guy. Just a little...dopey." Peter ran his fingers through his hair and he smiled. "And believe me, sometimes the whole moving on thing isn't easy...but that just means it's worth it."

"So I'm not the world's worst human being?"

"Pfft, not even close." Peter leaned down to kiss Thomas's forehead. "And you know...in the end...I forgave Katherine too. I don't think anything's unforgivable if the person tries to right the wrong they did. And people who refuse to forgive people who actively try to fix things...I think they're some of those horrible picture people. People I don't wish to know. How can people change if we don't let them?"

"Yeah...I guess I'll...Spectre's letting me get through this. Us. He's letting us get through this." Thomas bit his lip, hoping that they could.

"That Adrian is very wise. I think going to see him is the right thing to do." Peter said firmly. "It'll help the both of you."

"So... you'll pay for the ticket?" Thomas asked, his voice small.

At that, Peter laughed again.