Deirdre / Renee / Pierre - Break-up - R
Jan. 20th, 2006 01:44 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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darker_londonPierre was feeling pretty rotten as he made his way about the kitchen, attempting to assemble some sort of edible hamburger for lunch. It wasn't the lack of viable ingredients, or at least the lack of any skill to combine them on his part, that was bothering him though. Despite the apparent reconciliation between the two, it still seemed to him as though things were about to come to a head between Deirdre and Renee. He also suspected that Deirdre might be looking to him for support; that was why he had pretended to be asleep last night when she had come to talk to him. He probably wouldn't have been much help, anyway. He hadn't been in the best of moods after Renee had kicked him out of her room after her ritual.
He jumped a little as he heard the front door close. Who could be coming home at this hour?
Deirdre had had a free period for her last class of the day. She had suspected that Pierre had fallen asleep on purpose last night and she wanted to be able to surprise him...she just needed to see what he knew.
She entered the house and turned into the kitchen, where she guessed he would be. Either there, or in front of the TV playing FFX. But there he was, holding a bit of onion in his hand and looking mighty confused.
"Hey Pierre. I finished early today. Can I talk to you....about...hey, what in the hell are you trying to make there?"
Pierre placed the onion carefully on top of the pile of food before him on the chopping board, and sighed. "It is supposed to be a hamburger. But I think if I just put all of this in a wok and stir it, I might have a very nice stir fry."
He gave her a small smile, both a little embarrassed at his cooking efforts and more than a little anxious about what Deirdre wanted to 'talk to him' about.
Deirdre smiled at him. "Tell you what, I will make you a truely fantastic hamburger or even a stir fry if you so desire, if you will talk to me about Renee. I'm worried about her. She seems so distant lately and I want to help. You're her best friend, so I figure if anyone can tell me what's wrong, it's you."
Pierre sighed and relinquished the cooking utensils, though truth be told, he suddenly didn't feel very hungry any more. What was he to do in a situation like this? Renee was his best friend, always had been. He believed that what she was doing was wrong, but... was telling Deirdre all a vile betrayal of her trust?
But what of Deirdre? She was kind enough to let him stay under her roof, and she deserved to know the truth. She deserved to hear it from Renee. But much as Renee might like to kid herself that she would tell Deirdre soon, Pierre knew it wasn't going to happen. Renee never could think clearly when it came to Kait. Hell, she had that effect on a lot of people. The powers of a beautiful woman were an amazing thing.
The conflict was clearly evident on Pierre's face. He wanted desperately for Deirdre to know the truth, but...
"There's nothing really wrong..." Pierre said. "Renee is just... confused at this time. There are some things she should have dealt with years ago, in France, that she is only now working out. It's... It's not anything bad like you are thinking."
His expression became pleading. He didn't want Deirdre to make him do this. But if she pushed the point...
Deirdre worked on making Pierre a hamburger as he jumped around the subject. FInally she handed the plate to him, with the finished burger and said, "I know Renee is your best friend. I am not asking you to betray her. And I know she's always been honest with me. I trust her to tell me if something big was going on. I know she would. But if there's anything I can do to help her...that's what I need to know from you. That's all. If there are issues I can help her deal with, that she'd never ask for help with...I want to know how to help. Not necessarily what the issues are...does that make any sense?"
Pierre smiled his thanks and took a small bite of the hamburger, despite the fact that his appetite was decreasing by the minute.
"It is not that she does not trust you with her problem, it is the problem that is the... problem..." he struggled to find the right English to explain what he meant. It was hard, not necessarily having the vocabulary to deal with something like this. He couldn't do this. He was frustrated. The words weren't coming. And besides, wasn't all this Renee's fault anyway?
"There is a girl. They are not cheating, it is not that. She is... Kaitlyn. Renee's first girlfriend. They were girlfriends in France. Then Kait moved here. Just after Christmas, Renee found her again. It was an accident, Kait only lives two blocks away. They have been spending some time together. It has been... helpful to Renee. Her... issues... with Kait, and how Kait left her, have never really been resolved. She needed this time, without complications. She did not want you to have the thoughts you have been thinking. That is why she did not tell you."
He looked into Deirdre's eyes. "I did not want to lie to you. But this, this is not my decision."
He had to look away again. It was said now, but he felt no better. It was a terrible position to be in. No matter what happened... it felt as though there were no possible way for him to do the right thing.
Deirdre felt like she might throw up. Oh SURE they weren't cheating. But if that was all it was, Renee would have told her. There was a reason she wasn't told. Renee must still want this SLUT. Deirdre could feel herself getting angry...heat and hurt and betrayal and anger threatening to boil over. She calmed herself for Pierre's sake. This wasn't his fault. He was good and sweet and he had just told her, hadn't he? But if she remained here, she'd scream at him. Lash out at whomever was available....
"She never said anything about a first girlfriend in France. She told me I was the first. I was her first steady girlfriend. She LIED to me."
And with that, Deirdre walked out, slamming the front door to hard it just about fell off it's hinges.
First steady girlfriend? Well, he supposed Renee may well have said that. Some sort of attempt to get over Kait, to forget about her. Just pretend she never even existed. Yes... that seemed very much like something Renee would do.
It seemed to Pierre that Deirdre wasn't being very understanding. But then, he wondered if he would act any differently in her position. He would like to think so, but...
His lunch forgotten, he wandered into the lounge room and switched on the stereo. His beloved Dream Theater filled the room, numbing his angst for a moment. It didn't seem like long before time got away from him, and it was almost time for Renee to get home...
He heard the door close. Right on time. He quickly switched the music off, hearing Renee call out, "Sweetie?" She was looking for Deirdre...
"Sweetie?" Renee called as she entered the house. She wanted to spend some time with Deirdre tonight. Pierre would understand. No doubt he could amuse himself well enough with the PS2. Hell, he could even head down to the skatepark with Ry if he wanted, they seemed to like each other well enough. But she had been neglecting Deirdre. They needed to get back on track.
Pierre appeared at the doorway from the lounge room. He looked broken and defeated.
"Pierre, what's wrong?" she said, immediately pulling him into a hug.
Gently, he pushed her away. "I had to tell her, Renee."
Renee's eyes went cold. "What?"
"She practically knew anyway. I just wanted to explain... I thought she might listen... Renee, she thinks you are cheating."
Renee turned away from him, anger boiling up within her. So, this was the kind of betrayal she was to expect from her best friend?
"She would not let it go," Pierre continued desperately. "I am a guest in her house. How can I continue to lie?"
Without a word, Renee turned and slapped Pierre hard across the face. He took the blow with little more than a sigh, and walked outside, sitting down on the front step with his back against the house.
Inside, Renee collapsed on her bed and cried.
Deirdre walked and walked and walked. She had no idea where she was going, or even where she WAS for that matter. How could Renee lie to her like that?! How could she look her straight in the face and tell her she was the first? Stupid bitch. After she'd gone on and on about honesty and trust and how their relationship was so strong. It had been a lie the entire time. One big fucking lie. She looked up, realising she had somehow made it back to Victoria Lane. It was starting to get darker, and the air was growing colder. Leaving quickly as she had, she hadn't grabbed her coat. She could be home in 2 minutes. But Renee would be there. Grumbling, Deirdre walked up to the house and saw Pierre sitting on the front step.
"What are you DOING out here?" she said, not unkindly. Pierre looked as miserable as she felt.
Pierre sighed. "I do not think I am welcome inside..." His hand rose unconsciously to touch the red mark on his cheek.
"There are not many other roofs available... I was actually about to walk to Kait's house..." he said sheepishly. "All of the other friends I have made live here or have parents who would not take well to me."
Deirdre sighed. "Look you did what you have to do. Renee is taking out her shit on you. She should have told me. It was her putting you in a shitty situation. You are always welcome in MY house. It's freezing out here. You can come inside any time you want." With that she stepped inside the door, running upstairs to grab a heavier coat than the one she'd worn to school that day, hoping Renee wouldn't hear her so she could go back out again, and have time to calm down.
Pierre nodded and watched Deirdre go in. It would be so easy to just leave, head to Kait's place and wait things out. She wouldn't mind. He might even have gone to Scarlett, if he had any idea where she lived. But he owed it to both Deirdre and Renee to see how this panned out. He stepped back inside, hovering about the heater in the lounge room, waiting for one or the other to come back down...
Renee had mostly stopped crying when she heard Deirdre's return. Somehow, she knew it was her... perhaps it was the particular sound of her footsteps. She sounded like she was in a hurry. Quickly, Renee made her way to the door, her face covered with tear-streaked mascara. She caught sight of Deirdre as she made to head back out again.
"Deirdre," she called, her voice still thick with crying. "I'm sorry."
Deirdre groaned and threw her coat down. She was at war inside. Part of her wanted to just grab Renee, say it didn't matter, stroke her gorgeous black hair, look deeply into her grey eyes and say none of it mattered. They were forever.
But something else was stirring. Something dark. Something she had always known was there, beneath the surface, watching. Waiting. It wanted to lash and scream and rip and tear. And feed.
Breathing deeply, trying to hold herself back, she surprised herself by yelling in a rather loud voice, "You're SORRY!? Oh well I guess everything's FINE THEN isn't it!? Because you're SORRY!" She was shaking. She couldn't believe what she was saying. It was as if her mouth was disconnected from the rest of her. And she was doing it right in the middle of the hall.
"FUCK your apologies, Renee, Fuck them straight to hell." She advanced on the girl, "Now why don't you finally tell me to my face what you've been doing with that little slut?"
Renee collapsed to the floor under the weight of Deirdre's verbal onslaught. She had known it would be bad, but she hadn't expected anything like this. Deirdre loomed before her, her anger seeming to fill the very space between them, assaulting her. Renee wept, her hands covering her face. She couldn't look at Deirdre. She was actually afraid of her.
"Nothing!" she wailed into her hands. "There really was nothing. We... we took photos, and, and... we watched some television... but there really was nothing else... Deirdre, she has a girlfriend, I promise you there was nothing..."
"If there was NOTHING then you wouldn't have hidden her from me. She has a girlfriend? SO I assume HER girlfriend knows about YOU?! But not me. You betrayed me, Renee. You lied to me after I went on and on and on about how honest you were and how I trusted you. You made me look a fool the other day when I accused you for fooling around and I apologised, oh Renee would NEVER keep anything from me. I asked and I asked what was wrong and you kept telling me everything was fine. What the FUCK, Renee?! Is this recent, or have you always been such a lying cunt?!" It was out now, whatever had been lurking beneath the surface had taken her over, it was free. Her mouth was moving, yet she had no control. The only way to make it better was to hurt. Hurt hurt hurt. She was dizzy and he mind was screaming and she was filled with the desire to crush Renee. Destroy her.
"If you kept her from me, you must want her. Do you want her? Are you a little slut too?"
Renee had curled herself into a ball, hands covering her ears. It didn't help. She could clearly hear every word, every accusation, every foul name Deirdre hurled her way. It was as if they were bypassing the physical world and being driven directly into her heart.
"I... I don't know..." Renee cried, and this time, it was the truth. "I don't know what I feel towards her... I would never cheat on you, never... I just needed time... just a little more time," she sobbed.
"You needed TIME? You needed time to decide who you wanted, meanwhile you let me believe that nothing was wrong?! LOOK AT ME!! LOOK AT ME YOU LITTLE WHORE!!!" She grabbed Renee's face and forced the girl to look into her eyes. Her voice grew eerily quiet.
"If you would never cheat on me, then you muct have needed time to decide whether to dump me or not and run back to her, yes? Fine. I'll take care of that for you. You can go straight to hell, for all I care. I never want to see you again."
Deirdre was forcing Renee to look into her eyes. Her grip was so hard that Renee felt as though she were tearing the muscles in her neck. Any attempt at resistance was futile. She tried to close her eyes, to look anywhere but at Deirdre, but that only incensed her, and she dug her nails into Renee's flesh. Finally, she looked up.
Deirdre's face was contorted with rage. Renee had never seen anything like it. Her eyes burned... in fact, they seemed to be flashing with an unnatural fire, as if some unholy power leaked from her very eyes. Renee was almost frozen with fear. This was not the Deirdre she knew.
"Deirdre... please... don't do this... that's not what happened, mon amour... I love you..."
Whatever resistance there had been within her had been utterly drained away. Her body was limp, a puppet-thing in Deirdre's hands. Renee's eyes were filled with tears, but there was no fight left in them. It was over. There was nothing more that she could do.
Deirdre released her grip on Renee, annoyed that she was begging. In a taunting voice she said, "Please, don't do this, please, mon amour."
"I remember saying 'please' often. Renee, please tell me what's wrong. Renee please don't hold back. Renee, please let me know if I can help you. And you ignored it. Threw my requests in my fucking face as you gallivanted around with some girl you never even TOLD me about. So now I will ignore your pleas. I will give them all the consideration you gave mine." A new thought occured to her.
Pizza boxes. Oh so many pizza boxes. More than even Pierre could eat. Her anger sweeled again.
"Was that bitch here when I was in Dublin?!"
Renee looked away. Deirdre's taunting had stung her even more than the physical pain of what she had done to her. Though she was deathly afraid of what Deirdre might do now, she knew the girl would know if she lied.
"Yes," she admitted. "Kait was here."
Deirdre nodded. She had lost her internal war with herself and now she had lost Renee. That girl...in HER house... She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Something was coming. Something....She clawed at her face, trying to hold it back, trying...trying...losing.
And then she screamed so loudly it seemed to fill the entire house, rattling the windows and shaking the doors.
GET OUT!
Deirdre's scream tore through Renee like a lance. Her vision blurred. The walls seemed to tremble, and the fire had spread from Deirdre's eyes to envelop her entire form. The physical world seemed to vibrate with Deirdre's words, and Renee's Wiccan senses were shattered. She had never felt so beaten, broken, crushed in her entire life. It was as if some vice had taken hold of all her internal organs and just squeezed the life out of her. She had to look away. Seeing Deirdre like this was just too terrible.
She crawled halfway down the corridor before she was even able to rise to her feet and stumble down the stairs. By the time she passed Pierre, she was running.
"Renee, wait!" Pierre tried to grab her, but she eluded him, sobbing as she disappeared out the door. She hadn't even stopped to put on shoes or warm clothes. He went to the door, but he knew that even if he caught her, there was no way he could bring her back here. Besides, he knew where she was going. She would be all right. Physically, at least.
He had heard the entire confrontation. It would have been impossible not to. He sat himself down at the bottom of the stairs. The only thing he could really do was to be there if Deirdre needed him. She shouldn't have been so horrible to Renee, but then, he did understand. Renee's position was pretty much indefensible. He let out a world-weary sigh, fed up with the whole situation. No doubt he would be the one to pick up the pieces once again. Business as usual.
Deirdre watched her go and let out a weary laugh. Triumph. Broken girl. Shattered Renee.
She went into her room and the realisation hit her. There would be no more soft moonlit kisses. No more whispered 'I love yous' no more midnight massages. Nothing. There was nothing.
Deirdre screamed again and ran to her desk, throwing the contents to the floor. SHe moved to her bed, pulling off the covers and tossing them. Books were thrown from bookshelves, trinkets tossed ruthlessly at the wall where they shattered, posters ripped down, pictures flung about, candles hurled. Nothing was safe. It would all go. Nothing was sacred. She screamed and groaned until the room lay in ruin, glass and pieces of ceramic littered the floor, strewn with blankets and clothes.
Deirdre kneeled and then collapsed. She put her face in her hands, her fingers clawing at her head. Calm it down. She must calm it down. Oh god what had she done?! What had it done. She screamed into her hands again and again, until she quieted.
And now she rocked back and forth. Back and forth. More slowly than humanly possible.
He jumped a little as he heard the front door close. Who could be coming home at this hour?
Deirdre had had a free period for her last class of the day. She had suspected that Pierre had fallen asleep on purpose last night and she wanted to be able to surprise him...she just needed to see what he knew.
She entered the house and turned into the kitchen, where she guessed he would be. Either there, or in front of the TV playing FFX. But there he was, holding a bit of onion in his hand and looking mighty confused.
"Hey Pierre. I finished early today. Can I talk to you....about...hey, what in the hell are you trying to make there?"
Pierre placed the onion carefully on top of the pile of food before him on the chopping board, and sighed. "It is supposed to be a hamburger. But I think if I just put all of this in a wok and stir it, I might have a very nice stir fry."
He gave her a small smile, both a little embarrassed at his cooking efforts and more than a little anxious about what Deirdre wanted to 'talk to him' about.
Deirdre smiled at him. "Tell you what, I will make you a truely fantastic hamburger or even a stir fry if you so desire, if you will talk to me about Renee. I'm worried about her. She seems so distant lately and I want to help. You're her best friend, so I figure if anyone can tell me what's wrong, it's you."
Pierre sighed and relinquished the cooking utensils, though truth be told, he suddenly didn't feel very hungry any more. What was he to do in a situation like this? Renee was his best friend, always had been. He believed that what she was doing was wrong, but... was telling Deirdre all a vile betrayal of her trust?
But what of Deirdre? She was kind enough to let him stay under her roof, and she deserved to know the truth. She deserved to hear it from Renee. But much as Renee might like to kid herself that she would tell Deirdre soon, Pierre knew it wasn't going to happen. Renee never could think clearly when it came to Kait. Hell, she had that effect on a lot of people. The powers of a beautiful woman were an amazing thing.
The conflict was clearly evident on Pierre's face. He wanted desperately for Deirdre to know the truth, but...
"There's nothing really wrong..." Pierre said. "Renee is just... confused at this time. There are some things she should have dealt with years ago, in France, that she is only now working out. It's... It's not anything bad like you are thinking."
His expression became pleading. He didn't want Deirdre to make him do this. But if she pushed the point...
Deirdre worked on making Pierre a hamburger as he jumped around the subject. FInally she handed the plate to him, with the finished burger and said, "I know Renee is your best friend. I am not asking you to betray her. And I know she's always been honest with me. I trust her to tell me if something big was going on. I know she would. But if there's anything I can do to help her...that's what I need to know from you. That's all. If there are issues I can help her deal with, that she'd never ask for help with...I want to know how to help. Not necessarily what the issues are...does that make any sense?"
Pierre smiled his thanks and took a small bite of the hamburger, despite the fact that his appetite was decreasing by the minute.
"It is not that she does not trust you with her problem, it is the problem that is the... problem..." he struggled to find the right English to explain what he meant. It was hard, not necessarily having the vocabulary to deal with something like this. He couldn't do this. He was frustrated. The words weren't coming. And besides, wasn't all this Renee's fault anyway?
"There is a girl. They are not cheating, it is not that. She is... Kaitlyn. Renee's first girlfriend. They were girlfriends in France. Then Kait moved here. Just after Christmas, Renee found her again. It was an accident, Kait only lives two blocks away. They have been spending some time together. It has been... helpful to Renee. Her... issues... with Kait, and how Kait left her, have never really been resolved. She needed this time, without complications. She did not want you to have the thoughts you have been thinking. That is why she did not tell you."
He looked into Deirdre's eyes. "I did not want to lie to you. But this, this is not my decision."
He had to look away again. It was said now, but he felt no better. It was a terrible position to be in. No matter what happened... it felt as though there were no possible way for him to do the right thing.
Deirdre felt like she might throw up. Oh SURE they weren't cheating. But if that was all it was, Renee would have told her. There was a reason she wasn't told. Renee must still want this SLUT. Deirdre could feel herself getting angry...heat and hurt and betrayal and anger threatening to boil over. She calmed herself for Pierre's sake. This wasn't his fault. He was good and sweet and he had just told her, hadn't he? But if she remained here, she'd scream at him. Lash out at whomever was available....
"She never said anything about a first girlfriend in France. She told me I was the first. I was her first steady girlfriend. She LIED to me."
And with that, Deirdre walked out, slamming the front door to hard it just about fell off it's hinges.
First steady girlfriend? Well, he supposed Renee may well have said that. Some sort of attempt to get over Kait, to forget about her. Just pretend she never even existed. Yes... that seemed very much like something Renee would do.
It seemed to Pierre that Deirdre wasn't being very understanding. But then, he wondered if he would act any differently in her position. He would like to think so, but...
His lunch forgotten, he wandered into the lounge room and switched on the stereo. His beloved Dream Theater filled the room, numbing his angst for a moment. It didn't seem like long before time got away from him, and it was almost time for Renee to get home...
He heard the door close. Right on time. He quickly switched the music off, hearing Renee call out, "Sweetie?" She was looking for Deirdre...
"Sweetie?" Renee called as she entered the house. She wanted to spend some time with Deirdre tonight. Pierre would understand. No doubt he could amuse himself well enough with the PS2. Hell, he could even head down to the skatepark with Ry if he wanted, they seemed to like each other well enough. But she had been neglecting Deirdre. They needed to get back on track.
Pierre appeared at the doorway from the lounge room. He looked broken and defeated.
"Pierre, what's wrong?" she said, immediately pulling him into a hug.
Gently, he pushed her away. "I had to tell her, Renee."
Renee's eyes went cold. "What?"
"She practically knew anyway. I just wanted to explain... I thought she might listen... Renee, she thinks you are cheating."
Renee turned away from him, anger boiling up within her. So, this was the kind of betrayal she was to expect from her best friend?
"She would not let it go," Pierre continued desperately. "I am a guest in her house. How can I continue to lie?"
Without a word, Renee turned and slapped Pierre hard across the face. He took the blow with little more than a sigh, and walked outside, sitting down on the front step with his back against the house.
Inside, Renee collapsed on her bed and cried.
Deirdre walked and walked and walked. She had no idea where she was going, or even where she WAS for that matter. How could Renee lie to her like that?! How could she look her straight in the face and tell her she was the first? Stupid bitch. After she'd gone on and on about honesty and trust and how their relationship was so strong. It had been a lie the entire time. One big fucking lie. She looked up, realising she had somehow made it back to Victoria Lane. It was starting to get darker, and the air was growing colder. Leaving quickly as she had, she hadn't grabbed her coat. She could be home in 2 minutes. But Renee would be there. Grumbling, Deirdre walked up to the house and saw Pierre sitting on the front step.
"What are you DOING out here?" she said, not unkindly. Pierre looked as miserable as she felt.
Pierre sighed. "I do not think I am welcome inside..." His hand rose unconsciously to touch the red mark on his cheek.
"There are not many other roofs available... I was actually about to walk to Kait's house..." he said sheepishly. "All of the other friends I have made live here or have parents who would not take well to me."
Deirdre sighed. "Look you did what you have to do. Renee is taking out her shit on you. She should have told me. It was her putting you in a shitty situation. You are always welcome in MY house. It's freezing out here. You can come inside any time you want." With that she stepped inside the door, running upstairs to grab a heavier coat than the one she'd worn to school that day, hoping Renee wouldn't hear her so she could go back out again, and have time to calm down.
Pierre nodded and watched Deirdre go in. It would be so easy to just leave, head to Kait's place and wait things out. She wouldn't mind. He might even have gone to Scarlett, if he had any idea where she lived. But he owed it to both Deirdre and Renee to see how this panned out. He stepped back inside, hovering about the heater in the lounge room, waiting for one or the other to come back down...
Renee had mostly stopped crying when she heard Deirdre's return. Somehow, she knew it was her... perhaps it was the particular sound of her footsteps. She sounded like she was in a hurry. Quickly, Renee made her way to the door, her face covered with tear-streaked mascara. She caught sight of Deirdre as she made to head back out again.
"Deirdre," she called, her voice still thick with crying. "I'm sorry."
Deirdre groaned and threw her coat down. She was at war inside. Part of her wanted to just grab Renee, say it didn't matter, stroke her gorgeous black hair, look deeply into her grey eyes and say none of it mattered. They were forever.
But something else was stirring. Something dark. Something she had always known was there, beneath the surface, watching. Waiting. It wanted to lash and scream and rip and tear. And feed.
Breathing deeply, trying to hold herself back, she surprised herself by yelling in a rather loud voice, "You're SORRY!? Oh well I guess everything's FINE THEN isn't it!? Because you're SORRY!" She was shaking. She couldn't believe what she was saying. It was as if her mouth was disconnected from the rest of her. And she was doing it right in the middle of the hall.
"FUCK your apologies, Renee, Fuck them straight to hell." She advanced on the girl, "Now why don't you finally tell me to my face what you've been doing with that little slut?"
Renee collapsed to the floor under the weight of Deirdre's verbal onslaught. She had known it would be bad, but she hadn't expected anything like this. Deirdre loomed before her, her anger seeming to fill the very space between them, assaulting her. Renee wept, her hands covering her face. She couldn't look at Deirdre. She was actually afraid of her.
"Nothing!" she wailed into her hands. "There really was nothing. We... we took photos, and, and... we watched some television... but there really was nothing else... Deirdre, she has a girlfriend, I promise you there was nothing..."
"If there was NOTHING then you wouldn't have hidden her from me. She has a girlfriend? SO I assume HER girlfriend knows about YOU?! But not me. You betrayed me, Renee. You lied to me after I went on and on and on about how honest you were and how I trusted you. You made me look a fool the other day when I accused you for fooling around and I apologised, oh Renee would NEVER keep anything from me. I asked and I asked what was wrong and you kept telling me everything was fine. What the FUCK, Renee?! Is this recent, or have you always been such a lying cunt?!" It was out now, whatever had been lurking beneath the surface had taken her over, it was free. Her mouth was moving, yet she had no control. The only way to make it better was to hurt. Hurt hurt hurt. She was dizzy and he mind was screaming and she was filled with the desire to crush Renee. Destroy her.
"If you kept her from me, you must want her. Do you want her? Are you a little slut too?"
Renee had curled herself into a ball, hands covering her ears. It didn't help. She could clearly hear every word, every accusation, every foul name Deirdre hurled her way. It was as if they were bypassing the physical world and being driven directly into her heart.
"I... I don't know..." Renee cried, and this time, it was the truth. "I don't know what I feel towards her... I would never cheat on you, never... I just needed time... just a little more time," she sobbed.
"You needed TIME? You needed time to decide who you wanted, meanwhile you let me believe that nothing was wrong?! LOOK AT ME!! LOOK AT ME YOU LITTLE WHORE!!!" She grabbed Renee's face and forced the girl to look into her eyes. Her voice grew eerily quiet.
"If you would never cheat on me, then you muct have needed time to decide whether to dump me or not and run back to her, yes? Fine. I'll take care of that for you. You can go straight to hell, for all I care. I never want to see you again."
Deirdre was forcing Renee to look into her eyes. Her grip was so hard that Renee felt as though she were tearing the muscles in her neck. Any attempt at resistance was futile. She tried to close her eyes, to look anywhere but at Deirdre, but that only incensed her, and she dug her nails into Renee's flesh. Finally, she looked up.
Deirdre's face was contorted with rage. Renee had never seen anything like it. Her eyes burned... in fact, they seemed to be flashing with an unnatural fire, as if some unholy power leaked from her very eyes. Renee was almost frozen with fear. This was not the Deirdre she knew.
"Deirdre... please... don't do this... that's not what happened, mon amour... I love you..."
Whatever resistance there had been within her had been utterly drained away. Her body was limp, a puppet-thing in Deirdre's hands. Renee's eyes were filled with tears, but there was no fight left in them. It was over. There was nothing more that she could do.
Deirdre released her grip on Renee, annoyed that she was begging. In a taunting voice she said, "Please, don't do this, please, mon amour."
"I remember saying 'please' often. Renee, please tell me what's wrong. Renee please don't hold back. Renee, please let me know if I can help you. And you ignored it. Threw my requests in my fucking face as you gallivanted around with some girl you never even TOLD me about. So now I will ignore your pleas. I will give them all the consideration you gave mine." A new thought occured to her.
Pizza boxes. Oh so many pizza boxes. More than even Pierre could eat. Her anger sweeled again.
"Was that bitch here when I was in Dublin?!"
Renee looked away. Deirdre's taunting had stung her even more than the physical pain of what she had done to her. Though she was deathly afraid of what Deirdre might do now, she knew the girl would know if she lied.
"Yes," she admitted. "Kait was here."
Deirdre nodded. She had lost her internal war with herself and now she had lost Renee. That girl...in HER house... She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Something was coming. Something....She clawed at her face, trying to hold it back, trying...trying...losing.
And then she screamed so loudly it seemed to fill the entire house, rattling the windows and shaking the doors.
GET OUT!
Deirdre's scream tore through Renee like a lance. Her vision blurred. The walls seemed to tremble, and the fire had spread from Deirdre's eyes to envelop her entire form. The physical world seemed to vibrate with Deirdre's words, and Renee's Wiccan senses were shattered. She had never felt so beaten, broken, crushed in her entire life. It was as if some vice had taken hold of all her internal organs and just squeezed the life out of her. She had to look away. Seeing Deirdre like this was just too terrible.
She crawled halfway down the corridor before she was even able to rise to her feet and stumble down the stairs. By the time she passed Pierre, she was running.
"Renee, wait!" Pierre tried to grab her, but she eluded him, sobbing as she disappeared out the door. She hadn't even stopped to put on shoes or warm clothes. He went to the door, but he knew that even if he caught her, there was no way he could bring her back here. Besides, he knew where she was going. She would be all right. Physically, at least.
He had heard the entire confrontation. It would have been impossible not to. He sat himself down at the bottom of the stairs. The only thing he could really do was to be there if Deirdre needed him. She shouldn't have been so horrible to Renee, but then, he did understand. Renee's position was pretty much indefensible. He let out a world-weary sigh, fed up with the whole situation. No doubt he would be the one to pick up the pieces once again. Business as usual.
Deirdre watched her go and let out a weary laugh. Triumph. Broken girl. Shattered Renee.
She went into her room and the realisation hit her. There would be no more soft moonlit kisses. No more whispered 'I love yous' no more midnight massages. Nothing. There was nothing.
Deirdre screamed again and ran to her desk, throwing the contents to the floor. SHe moved to her bed, pulling off the covers and tossing them. Books were thrown from bookshelves, trinkets tossed ruthlessly at the wall where they shattered, posters ripped down, pictures flung about, candles hurled. Nothing was safe. It would all go. Nothing was sacred. She screamed and groaned until the room lay in ruin, glass and pieces of ceramic littered the floor, strewn with blankets and clothes.
Deirdre kneeled and then collapsed. She put her face in her hands, her fingers clawing at her head. Calm it down. She must calm it down. Oh god what had she done?! What had it done. She screamed into her hands again and again, until she quieted.
And now she rocked back and forth. Back and forth. More slowly than humanly possible.
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