"JINX!" Stephie called after Jinx as he left, but if he heard her he didn't respond. If she'd been thinking clearly she would have understood, of course he barely heard her. He'd been looking right through her for days.
She'd watched as he froze above the grave, hand clenched around the fistful of dirt and it made her think of Snap (was he thinking of Snap?) and how she had refused to throw earth into the Snap's grave because it felt so fucking wrong.
Stephie tried to go after him; she couldn't let him leave alone but Josie grabbed her. "Let him go," she said, her hand cold around Stephie's arm.
"I can't," Stephie said, her voice flat, except for when she was calling his name.
"Jinx!" She felt his name like a fishhook in her heart, felt the pain for him getting worse and worse the further away he went. When Josie tugged on her wrist she turned her body toward her and cracked, crying into Josie's designer lapels, until small arms wrapped around her leg and she looked down at blurry frightened Marie. Stephie wiped her face and hauled Marie into her arms.
Marie knew something was wrong, she'd known since the first night when Stephie woke her up in the middle of the night, crawling into her bed instead of sleeping on her own. Then everyone had been acting wrong, so Marie was acting wrong too. Stephie tried to explain, but the horror of trying to prepare this girl for a lifetime of funerals was too much, and Stephie was afraid she hadn't been very helpful.
But she held Marie now, both of them shaken, and Marie wailed into Stephie's clothes. Over the last few days Stephie had never been more aware of how tiny and fragile Marie's life was. It kept her wide awake at night. No one had slept much since it happened.
"Stay here," Josie said, her demon shadows creeping around her. She would follow him unseen, to make sure he didn't throw himself in front of a train or a Templar. Stephie pressed her face into Marie once more, and as Josie crept away, she knelt in the wet grass with her little girl and told her how she loved her. Tiny gingernut, she loved her.
She cupped her hands around Marie's small face and wondered if Alice's death was going to change the way Jinx was with Marie. How could it not? It scared Stephie, because you couldn't predict what people would do in grief, even Jinx...
Marie adored Jinx, and if there was even the slightest possibility that Jinx might resent Marie for her life when Alice had lost hers, then there was a chance he might say something cruel, and Marie was already delicate. Who knew what would happen?
Stephie had to know, though. She had to predict anything and she had to be prepared and she had to put everything she had into protecting Marie.
She felt like shit for not going after Jinx, but at least Josie was following him. Stephie probably had to be content with that. She wasn't going to let Marie out of her sight.
She felt her stupid heart aching. The rest of the day was going to be hell, and she didn't have any hope that tomorrow would be better.
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Date: 2014-10-13 11:06 am (UTC)From:She'd watched as he froze above the grave, hand clenched around the fistful of dirt and it made her think of Snap (was he thinking of Snap?) and how she had refused to throw earth into the Snap's grave because it felt so fucking wrong.
Stephie tried to go after him; she couldn't let him leave alone but Josie grabbed her. "Let him go," she said, her hand cold around Stephie's arm.
"I can't," Stephie said, her voice flat, except for when she was calling his name.
"Jinx!" She felt his name like a fishhook in her heart, felt the pain for him getting worse and worse the further away he went. When Josie tugged on her wrist she turned her body toward her and cracked, crying into Josie's designer lapels, until small arms wrapped around her leg and she looked down at blurry frightened Marie. Stephie wiped her face and hauled Marie into her arms.
Marie knew something was wrong, she'd known since the first night when Stephie woke her up in the middle of the night, crawling into her bed instead of sleeping on her own. Then everyone had been acting wrong, so Marie was acting wrong too. Stephie tried to explain, but the horror of trying to prepare this girl for a lifetime of funerals was too much, and Stephie was afraid she hadn't been very helpful.
But she held Marie now, both of them shaken, and Marie wailed into Stephie's clothes. Over the last few days Stephie had never been more aware of how tiny and fragile Marie's life was. It kept her wide awake at night. No one had slept much since it happened.
"Stay here," Josie said, her demon shadows creeping around her. She would follow him unseen, to make sure he didn't throw himself in front of a train or a Templar. Stephie pressed her face into Marie once more, and as Josie crept away, she knelt in the wet grass with her little girl and told her how she loved her. Tiny gingernut, she loved her.
She cupped her hands around Marie's small face and wondered if Alice's death was going to change the way Jinx was with Marie. How could it not? It scared Stephie, because you couldn't predict what people would do in grief, even Jinx...
Marie adored Jinx, and if there was even the slightest possibility that Jinx might resent Marie for her life when Alice had lost hers, then there was a chance he might say something cruel, and Marie was already delicate. Who knew what would happen?
Stephie had to know, though. She had to predict anything and she had to be prepared and she had to put everything she had into protecting Marie.
She felt like shit for not going after Jinx, but at least Josie was following him. Stephie probably had to be content with that. She wasn't going to let Marie out of her sight.
She felt her stupid heart aching. The rest of the day was going to be hell, and she didn't have any hope that tomorrow would be better.