Talks (Danny, Val)

[daniel_marlow]

When Danny walked through the door on Thursday afternoon, he was carrying a large chocolate muffin in his hands. "Mum!" he called out to her, hoping she was actually home. He really wanted to talk to her, and the muffin was apparently to soften her up. He didn't really know why it was necessary, but he had gotten it anyway. He planned to hide behind it a little bit.

"Mum, can you meet me in the dining room?" he called out and then he went to grab a glass of water before taking a seat.

Comments

[createdwebs.insanejournal.com]

Val had just sat down to start marking papers she really didn't want to mark yet and so Danny's voice was a welcome distraction. She got up and made her way out to him, stretching her arms with a yawn before she came in. "What's the play, kiddo?"

[daniel_marlow]

Danny smiled, probably a bit too widely and he handed her the muffin. "Here. This is for you! I mean...that's not the only- Can we talk?" He was clearly nervous, his legs jiggling underneath the table, because sitting still was hard.

[createdwebs.insanejournal.com]

Val sat herself down, leaning against the side of her chair as she watched her son. "Of course we can," she told him with a comforting smile, letting him lead the conversation.

[daniel_marlow]

"Okay," Danny said, chewing on his lip until he thought of how to best phrase it. "Uhm. Uhm. I-I think I might have sort of kind of developed some feelings for someone?"

[createdwebs.insanejournal.com]

Val couldn't decided whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. Probably, for his mental health, it was going to be a bit of both and (of course) she worried.

"Rachel?" she prompted gently.

[daniel_marlow]

It wasn't a huge leap to make, and he figured his mother would know immediately who he was talking about. "Yeah," he said, staring down at the table. "I didn't really mean to. It kind of sneaked up on me. And I don't know what to do. I mean, I'm not even normal."

[createdwebs.insanejournal.com]

"You're not not normal," Val reminded him firmly. "You've just been broken. That doesn't make you a freak undeserving of human affection, and it doesn't make you incapable of giving and receiving it if that's what you choose to do. Choose," she said carefully, "is the most important word there, and if Rachel is making you feel pressured into anything at all, then you need to tell me that."

[daniel_marlow]

"No!" Danny said quickly, raising his eyes to lock her gaze. "No, Mum. Rachel's not like that, at all. If she was, I'd be hiding in my closet from her. There's been girls before who probably liked me I guess, but they all seemed a bit...forward. It made me uncomfortable. Rachel doesn't made me uncomfortable, she makes me feel calm. Calm and...warm?"

[createdwebs.insanejournal.com]

Val tried not to smile too wide, or at least have the decency to try and hide that smile in her hair as she ducked her head for a moment. Calm and warm. Her sweet little Danny. Val had vague memories of people making her feel that way, but it had been a long while.

"That's a good way to feel," Val assured him. "And Rachel seems like a sweet girl. A sweet girl who is never ever to come crawling through your window again-" these words were said very seriously and with a pointed look "-but a sweet girl none the less."

[daniel_marlow]

"I know!" he cried out, sounding like a normal, put-out teenager for a moment. "I promise. It's just- She's so pretty and nice and I don't know what to do because the boys at school all talk about girls and sex like they aren't separate. But I don't- I mean- I'm not ready for- Not yet. And I don't want her to hate me."

[createdwebs.insanejournal.com]

"If she cares about you," Val said, "then she will understand that you're not ready and respect you for that. And if she can't respect that, she she doesn't deserve you. I know that that sounds harsh and as though I'm taking the whole thing lightly, but it's the truth. You've had to learn more than most kids your age about sex and consent and your own boundaries and in some ways that gives you an advantage over your classmates: you understand what you need and want better than they do."

Val gave him a little gentle smile. "Have you talked to her about how you feel?"

[daniel_marlow]

He rubbed his eye and went back to staring at the table then. "I don't think you're taking it lightly," he explained. "I just feel like- I don't know, what if I'm never okay? What if I'm just broken forever? I haven't talked to her about it because I- Honestly? I don't feel like I deserve her. Or I feel she deserves better than to be drawn into all my shi- er stuff."