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In an oak frame in the living room, on the wall that caught the best light, there was a silver medal. Some people might not have kept theirs so prominently on display, but Val was too proud of that single accomplishment to hide it away. She wanted to see it every day and remember that, just for one day, she had done everything right.
It didn't feel like she'd done much right since then. No, she corrected herself, feet pounding against the damp grass of the school oval as she ran, I did two other things right. Her children were perfect. Danny and Melissa had been such joys to her and for the short period of innocence Val had truly believed that she was doing okay at this mother thing. But now Danny was hurt almost beyond repair and Melissa was dead. Those were the legacies she had left for her children. Violation and death.
Five fast laps around the oval and Val slowed and stopped, fingers pressed against her throat and eyes on her watch, counting out her pulse. It was starting to get dark as she headed back inside the school now. She was supposed to be going on a date tonight - something she certainly hadn't mentioned to Danny - but she wasn't sure she was feeling it anymore. Dates felt pretty pointless these days, a heavy responsibility of a life she was supposed to lead and nothing more.
And so it was that she called the number she had for him and left an apologetic message on his machine, feigning illness to get out of it. She only felt a little guilty as she hung up. He'd seemed like a nice guy, but how could anyone tell which guys were scumbags? It was impossible to ever know what was happening inside their heads and Val couldn't accept that. She couldn't just trust because she'd done that before and it had ruined her son's life. Never again would she let anything like that happen.
She showered in the girl's changing room, swearing at herself for making the date in the first place and swearing at herself for not going on it. All that swearing meant that when she got out of the shower she redialed the number. I'd like to do it another night, she told him when he picked the phone up this time. Next week maybe? Or in a few days? I wasn't blowing you off. At least, she wasn't blowing him off anymore.
Progress. Val had to count this as progress.
It didn't feel like she'd done much right since then. No, she corrected herself, feet pounding against the damp grass of the school oval as she ran, I did two other things right. Her children were perfect. Danny and Melissa had been such joys to her and for the short period of innocence Val had truly believed that she was doing okay at this mother thing. But now Danny was hurt almost beyond repair and Melissa was dead. Those were the legacies she had left for her children. Violation and death.
Five fast laps around the oval and Val slowed and stopped, fingers pressed against her throat and eyes on her watch, counting out her pulse. It was starting to get dark as she headed back inside the school now. She was supposed to be going on a date tonight - something she certainly hadn't mentioned to Danny - but she wasn't sure she was feeling it anymore. Dates felt pretty pointless these days, a heavy responsibility of a life she was supposed to lead and nothing more.
And so it was that she called the number she had for him and left an apologetic message on his machine, feigning illness to get out of it. She only felt a little guilty as she hung up. He'd seemed like a nice guy, but how could anyone tell which guys were scumbags? It was impossible to ever know what was happening inside their heads and Val couldn't accept that. She couldn't just trust because she'd done that before and it had ruined her son's life. Never again would she let anything like that happen.
She showered in the girl's changing room, swearing at herself for making the date in the first place and swearing at herself for not going on it. All that swearing meant that when she got out of the shower she redialed the number. I'd like to do it another night, she told him when he picked the phone up this time. Next week maybe? Or in a few days? I wasn't blowing you off. At least, she wasn't blowing him off anymore.
Progress. Val had to count this as progress.
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