darker_london | Misery (Peter, Deirdre)

Deirdre didn't even feel angry. Not yet. She hadn't had enough time to let the anger build inside her. All she felt was empty. And that was truer than it had ever felt. One misstep. One accident in a moment of dizziness, and her life had come crashing down around her. Just when she was about to pick up the pieces. Just when she felt she could get on top of things again because if she was pregnant she had to be responsible. Had to be motherly. If she was going to have a baby, she couldn't be demonic. She had to set an example. She had been on the verge of trying to woo Renee and Kait back, if the former was even possible anymore. And now she had nothing. And a very distinct urge to kill everyone she had ever known.

Except one man.

The moment Peter approached her door, Deirdre knew he was there without looking at him. She could feel his ex-angelic shell aura, and though it offered her no solace, she was able to compose her self because he was here. The door opened and Deirdre sighed, leaning her head against the hospital window though she couldn't really see beyond the pain that was in this room. "I killed another one. Peter. I can't even keep something immortal alive..."

Deirdre expected to hear his gentle voice offer her words of comfort, and though they would do nothing to help her, they could calm her. And she needed some calm. No gentle voice passed his lips, however, and the next thing she noticed were strong arms pulling her into an embrace. Without thinking, Deirdre fell against him and she buried her face in his shoulder. She felt his lips kiss her hair and that was the final straw. She was sobbing against him, though she had certainly though she had sobbed everything inside of her out in Quinn's arms. She was clearly wrong.

"Deirdre..." Peter smoothed her hair down and Deirdre quieted in his arms because if Peter was going to talk, she was going to listen. "I know how much it hurts." And he would, of course. He had lost a child too. An immortal child, even... But he had still gotten one in the end. Deirdre had nothing.

"I wanted this one, Peter. When I thought that maybe I was pregnant, I was so happy!" Deirdre pulled back and she covered her face in her hands. She had never thought of being a mother before. Not even when she had ended up pregnant thanks to a rapist. She had thought to keep the baby for all of a week and then gotten rid of it as soon as she could when she changed her mind. And she had felt guilty since the day she had done it, even though it had been the right thing to do. "I...I was so...it would help- I wanted-"

"I know." Peter said, with feeling, just like Quinn had. And that was all he had to say, because it was different with Peter. Deirdre knew Peter understood it all. Absolutely everything. And there were no words left that would help. So she let him hold her, because if she couldn't have a baby, at least she could have her Peter. Her 'father'. He would keep her grounded until she could do it for herself again.