darker_london | Renee / Damien - Goodbye

Renee was flicking through her Tarot cards, examining them for details that she may not have remembered including in them, when Damien knocked on her door.

"Hello," she smiled. "Come in."

There was something different about Damien. The way he carried himself, the aura about him. Something had changed...

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

"Yes," Damien nodded. "They're letting me out today."

"They-" Renee's mouth fell open. "Damien, that's wonderful! Did you only just find out?"

He shook his head. "I've known for a while. I just... I kinda didn't want to tell you. Cos... well, I didn't want you to feel bad. And... and I'm gonna miss you. I didn't want it to be, y'know, more real, like every time I saw you was one less time I was gonna get to."

Renee smiled. She was touched by the young boy's feelings for her, and the fact that he was honest about them even though they would never, ever go anywhere. "That's very sweet, Damien."

"I made something for you," he said, producing two pieces of paper from the inner pocket of his jacket. When he placed them in Renee's hands, she saw that they were two Tarot cards... The Magician and the High Priestess, with Damien and Renee wearing their garb. Damien was a fantastic artist... his drawings were almost photo-realistic. He obviously knew his Tarot, too... the cards were rife with symbolism.

"Thank you, Damien." Renee was almost speechless. "Thank you so much."

Damien smiled a little, then Renee rose to hug him tightly. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," he said, hugging her back. What a gorgeous feeling!

"Why don't you get a LiveJournal? You can find me again that way. Seminal semiotic. One word."

"Okay," Damien nodded. "I'll do that." He glanced at the door. "I should go."

"Okay," Renee said. "Don't forget me, okay?"

"Never," Damien replied, and blew her a kiss before leaving the room, and the hospital.

Picking up the two beautiful Tarot cards Damien had made her, she moved over to the bed to examine them closely.

* * *

Hours later, Renee leaned her head back against the wall, and a small smile graced her features. "I understand now..."

And she did. The inherent meaning of the cards didn't matter. It was practically irrelevant. It was the meaning that she generated from her own soul that was important. That was why her cards were different from Damien's, and his from Crowley's. They communicated similar things, but with a richness of meaning and context that meant that there could be infinite variations in just one card.

It all made sense now! She didn't need faith in spirits or gods or cards. She only needed faith in herself, the light of her own soul. She could create meaning. She didn't need to find it outside herself. Everything that Peter had said, and Deirdre and Scarlett... Damien's cards... they were all leading to this revelation. They were stepping stones to this point, a point that she could only recognise for what it was when she reached it, and not before. This was Enlightenment.

Renee understood. And everything was going to be alright now.