darker_london | 'Freedom' (Malachy, Ardal) [Backstory] (Reply)

Malachy's personal belongings had been returned to him, and he had been sent out into the cold world once again, feeling full and with the memory of warmth filling his mind. The memory of warmth won't keep one warm for long, however, and by the time he reached the abandoned building he had Ardal had been squatting in, his teeth were chattering.

And Ardal was nowhere to be seen.

With his heart in his throat, Mal left the building in a mad dash for the door. Ardal was missing. Anything could have happened to him. Mal was supposed to take care of him and he had left Ardal alone and he had liked it. He had been warm and fed, and Ardal had been mugged, obviously. Or worse. Maybe he had been murdered. Maybe he had been killed by the elements, or his own hunger.

Frantically, Malachy dashed across the city to the spot they had arranged to meet up at, were they ever to get separated. The cafe where Caitlin had bought Mal the pancakes. Mal didn't see Ardal at first, and he felt terrified tears starting to rise to the surface, threatening to choke off his air supply with their stranglehold of grief. When he rounded the corner, however, he saw a hunched and miserable figured slumped against the wall. He could tell it was Ardal even standing fifty yards away.

"Ardal!" Mal rushed forward, eventually landing beside Ardal on his knees, his guitar case slamming slightly into the ground. "Ardal! Wake up!"

"Mal?" Ardal had been asleep, and the first thing he noticed when awareness reached him, was the cold biting at his face. And then there was the worried look of his boyfriend. "Mal, where were you?! Fuck, I was so scared!" Relief and worry flooded Ardal both at once. And still he reached out to pull Mal close. "Y...you smell nice..." Ardal pulled back from Mal then, giving him a strange, narrow-eyed look. "Why..?"

"I...had a shower." Mal sighed and he looked terribly ashamed. "I fell asleep on a bench and I got arrested. They made me stay over night. I was pissed off, but then they gave me a shower, and meals... And the bed was warm."

Ardal lapsed into momentary silence, and he lifted his eyes to meet Mal's. "Meals?"

Mal could see the pleading look Ardal was trying to hide, and his insides twisted with guilt. "I'm so sorry....you must have been terrified. I...I didn't mean to fall asleep. But look." Mal reached into his pocket to dig for the money he had recieved before he had been interrupted by the law. "Money." Mal placed the money in Ardal's palms and he closed Ardal's fingers around it. "It's for you. You need to eat something. You can have all of it."

Ardal glanced down at his hands, wrapped around the money Mal had procured busking on the streets, and he heaved a sigh. "I fucking hate this," he hissed, letting his eyes fall closed. "Mal, I really fucking hate this."

"I know...I know, Ardal, but the money-"

"No!" Ardal shook his head firmly and then he groaned as it protested the movement in the form of a severe wave of sickness. "Augh. No. I hate you getting arrested for sleeping, and me having panic attacks that you've been killed. And you actually thought being in jail was nice compared to this shite." Ardal looked around them. "Fuck, Mal, I...I don't...know if I-"

"Shhh." Mal inched forward and he looped his arms around his boyfriend, pulling him close. He kissed Ardal's head despite the fact that Ardal was dirty. Mal didn't care. "We'll be okay. It's almost spring. We'll be okay. I can play more and we can save money and I promise we'll be okay." It occurred to Mal that they had switched positions...it used to be Ardal who had been so adamant they would be okay. Now Mal was having to be reassuring. "When you turn eighteen it won't matter that you ran away and we can get assistance or...something. We'll figure out something, okay? Just please don't...you can't give up." Or could he?

"Mal..I..I don't feel so good." Ardal groaned and he dropped the money from his hands, so he could use them to hide his face, which was rapidly paling.

"Okay." Mal's voice was laced with urgency, and quickly he moved to pick up the scattered bits of money on the ground. "Just wait, okay! I'll be right back. You just need something to eat, and I'll get it. Just wait." Mal raced off to fetch something filling for Ardal, and as the cafe was so close by, it only seemed economical...

The man who made Mal the pancakes he ordered didn't look thrilled about it, but he was relieved that Mal wasn't planning on staying. He slopped them into a take away container and the second he pressed that into Mal's hands, Mal was on his way out the door. "Ardal!" Mal called, rushing back to Ardal's side. "Here. Pancakes. Eat."

Ardal's stomach gave a pitiful little jump at the smell of the food, but Ardal was too cold, and too utterly exhausted to do much about it. So Mal settled down, and he set in to feed the pancakes to Ardal since he was too weak to eat them himsef. "I'm so sorry I left you." Mal whispered to him as Ardal started to take in the food that was offered to him. "I'm so sorry. I won't leave again, I promise. I'll stay with you. I love you, Ardal."

Ardal just nodded, and he continued to eat the small bits of pancake Mal fed him until he was strong enough to do it for himself. And all the while, he wondered if any of it was fucking worth it.