darker_london | The Morning After (Deirdre, Flynn)

Deirdre awoke as the sun peeked it's way into the room in Paris where she was lying intertwined with her friend Flynn. She rolled her head to one side to glance at him, and it was hard to tell where she ended and he began. She smiled softly to herself and decided that the delineations did not matter. She was happy to stay there and be mush.

"I don't know what I feel." Deirdre whispered in Flynn's ear as he kissed her neck.

"Shhh." Flynn moved back a little bit so she could see his face. See that there was only love in his eyes. There wasn't even desire. This was about more than that. "Are you afraid?" He asked then, because it was an important question.

Deirdre looked thoughtful and then, slowly, she shook her head. No. She wasn't afraid. Never of Flynn. "What do I do, Flynn? What do I do?" It occurred to Deirdre that she didn't know. She had been with a man willingly, once. She had been fifteen. And since then, it had always been taken from her and she didn't know what to do.

"Undress me." Flynn didn't want to undress her first. He would make himself vulnerable before he would do that to her.

Deirdre took a deep breath and she caught the scent of the city, wafting in on the wind from the still open doors. She remembered Flynn had carried her to the bed she had already stripped bare. And then she had removed his clothing and realised that she appreciated the sight of him. His body was lean and his skin smooth where he didn't bear the scars of his mis-spent youth. And Deirdre remembered the feeling of desire then. And when it wasn't accompanied by a rush of nausea and fear, she had smiled as she smiled now.

"Are...are you going to undress me?" Deirdre had asked him, almost whispering it."

"No." Flynn shook his head as he stood there in front of her. "Here." He stepped forward and he slid her shirt off her shoulder and he kissed the bare skin there, tenderly. Still, he made no move to take her shirt off and Deirdre understood that though Flynn had seen her topless many hundreds of times, he was giving her the power. He was letting her choose.

Deirdre pulled her shirt over her head and the second it was gone, she was kissing him again.

Flynn stirred as Deirdre turned her head again and he gave her a little squinty-eyed smile. "Morning." He muttered, his voice crackling with sleep. He licked his lips and then blinked at the light, his expression schooling itself into discontent, but only because it was bright. "Door's open." He added, noticing that the balcony was still inviting the Paris air into the bedroom.

"Yeah. I forgot about it."

"Same. M'hungry." Flynn tried to pull himself up, but he was trapped under parts of Deirdre. "And stuck."

"Don't want to move." Deirdre said, her voice sounding blissful. "I'm just so...mmm."

Flynn chuckled and then he moved his hand to caress her bare stomach. "I'm glad, Deirdre."

Then Deirdre's face darkened, though it was not at the contact. "Flynn. I...Quinn's my...are you going to tell him?"

Flynn nodded easily. "Quinn will understand. This wasn't about wanting to be with you and not him, it was about taking care of you." Flynn saw it as nothing more than showing Deirdre there was nothing to fear from sex, but instead of visual aids he'd used physical ones. Flynn knew Quinn well enough to know how he would feel about this. He wouldn't have done it otherwise. "How are you?"

"Better." Deirdre admitted. "I don't want to tell my girls."

"Deirdre..." Flynn sat up then, and he turned to face her, not caring that they were still both utterly naked. "Why not?"

"I just..." Deirdre sat up herself, and she started wringing her hands together. "They would understand but I...I should have...I should have asked." She ended in a whisper.

"You had just tried to take a swandive off the balcony, Deirdre, I think they'll understand this wasn't about hurting them! It couldn't have waited for a phonecall."

Deirdre nodded. She knew it. "I just don't want my exchange for solace to be loneliness."

"It won't be." Flynn said firmly, and he believed it. "They won't be angry with you. You should tell them. Deirdre, you and I both know our hearts belong elsewhere. You said you needed to know sex wasn't always bad or scary."

"I did." Now, when people joked or brought it up, Deirdre wouldn't think of horrible things. She wouldn't be plagued by visions of being forced upon. She would remember Flynn's gentle touches and the way he had taken care of her, and she would smile.

Flynn was above her, and Deirdre was naked, and there wasn't a single part of her that was afraid. He caressed her cheek and smiled fondly down at her. "You're still alright?" He asked softly, and he leaned down to kiss her stomach.

"I am." Deirdre said, not a waver detectable in her voice.

"The moment you're not anymore, you just tell me to stop, Deirdre. Look at me. Do you understand?"

Deirdre nodded. She understood. She reached up to pull him closer to her, though he hesitated for just a moment to reach for his trousers again. Inside was his wallet and inside that was a condom he hadn't thought to take out before leaving. Lucky. When he returned, he let himself be pulled towards her, and he rested there, chest to chest. He caressed her entire body with sweet kisses, waiting for her to tell him she was ready. And when she suddenly rolled to the side and pushed him down to the mattress, he took that as a pretty clear sign it was time. Deirdre ensured the condom was in place and then she positioned herself over him. She had never been on top before. She wanted to see how it felt when she was in control.

And take control she did, and maybe that was part of what she needed. More than just to know it wasn't always harrowing. Deirdre needed to know she had power. That she had a choice.

Flynn spoke to her gently the entire time, though not to the detriment of the act they were engaged in. He was merely reminding her that it was him and no one else. That she was safe. And when it was all over and they were both feeling similarly sated, he had held her in his arms as tightly as he dared. He needed to know she was safe too.

"Thank you." Deirdre said then, reaching for his hand. "Flynn, thank you."

"You're welcome, Deirdre." Flynn squeezed her hand and then he jumped up, headed for his pants. "I'll get us something to eat and then we can get out of this city, alright?"

Deirdre shook her head. "I need to make sure that place isn't here again first, Flynn. And if it is, I'm burning it to the ground. So breakfast is good, but I'm not leaving yet. I'm not done."

Flynn nodded. "As you say."

"And I'm cold."

Flynn laughed and when he had pulled his trousers on, he leaned over to scoop up the blanket from the floor. "Here you go, Princess. I'll go get your breakfast in bed."

As he turned to leave, Deirdre snuggled down into the blankets and then she peered over the top of them cutely. "Thank you!" She called, her voice sweet and small, and she grinned to hear his little chuckle echo back at her.