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Delilah as good as had a house. It was a nice feeling. She didn't even mind that she wasn't going to be in the attic. (She hadn't really wanted it that badly anyway.)
Now came the much scarier task and Delilah was almost shaking as she rode her bike up into the driveway at Victoria Lane and stepped off. She had to grab the clothing she'd left here the night before but she still wasn't sure what to do about Pierre. She suddenly wished she was drunk again.
Please don't be home, please don't be home... she thought as she knocked on the front door.
eligible_boy
2006-06-02 11:48 am UTC (link)
Of course, it was Pierre who opened it, clad in his bumming around gear of loose blue jeans and a ratty Iron Maiden t-shirt, his hair falling loosely about his face.
"Del," he said, inwardly kicking himself for the sheer obviousness of the statement - yes, it was indeed Del - but unable to really say much else.
"Um, come in," he finally got out, stepping aside to let her through. What the Hell was wrong with him? She said she'd come back...
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 11:51 am UTC (link)
Her heart thundered and she nodded. "Hey," she said neuterally stepping inside cautiously and then turning to look at him, face looking even paler than usual. "I had to come get my stuff," she explained
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 11:55 am UTC (link)
"I know," Pierre nodded. "I put it in my closet to be safe..." He stepped forward a little, wanting to hug her, but hovering awkwardly in between reaching towards her and not.
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 12:00 pm UTC (link)
She saw the movement and sidestepped it easily, walking toward the stairs instead. "Cool. Thanks." She felt exposed in front of him now that he knew what he knew. Delilah had never told anyone about Christopher before and now Pierre knew.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 12:02 pm UTC (link)
Pierre couldn't fail to notice her movement, but tried not to let it throw him too much... although, much as he had expected it, it still hurt.
He followed Del up the stairs towards his room, and before he had given himself too much of a chance to think about it, and therefore think better of it, he closed the door behind them. He wanted to at least try to talk to her before she left again.
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 12:04 pm UTC (link)
She didn't even notice the door shut and moved over to the waredrobe, pulling out the things she'd left. (A bag, a tight little black tank top and black shirt, as well as random little accsessories she'd removed from herself.) She threw it all into the bag and then stood up again, not moving any further from there and not turning to look at him.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 12:11 pm UTC (link)
"Delilah," Pierre said gently, crossing the room to stand closer to her, but hopefully not close enough to bother her. "It's good that I know. I know it hurts... I know I can't begin to imagine... but I understand now. I understand why things have been the way they have, oui?"
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 12:13 pm UTC (link)
Been. He used the past tense. He said it like now they would be differant. Del turned and looked at him, her face a cold mask that revealed nothing. She watched him silently. Let him speak if he wanted, and she'd listen if she had to. She only removed her eyes from his when the caring there became too much for her to bare, and she flicked them away to look out the window.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 12:34 pm UTC (link)
No words from her. Nothing, really, no indication that what he said had meant anything. What else could he do but keep trying?
"I know you didn't want to tell me. But now that you have... well, if there is more... if there are things that are there, whether you realised before or not, if you need to talk about it, or if there is anything I can do, please... talk to me. I meant what I said when I told you I would be here for you, no matter what."
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 12:55 pm UTC (link)
She looked at him again and swalloed. "What is there to talk about?" she asked, almost genuinly curious as to what he thought he could do.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 01:00 pm UTC (link)
"What you feel. What you're afraid of. It might be better to ask yourself what there is to talk about... I can only guess." He sighed. "What I want is for you to be happy. I do not see that now. If I cannot take away your pain, I at least want to help you not have to bottle it up and repress it and suffer alone. Please... don't be alone."
He couldn't help gently reaching for her hand. Don't be alone.
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 01:20 pm UTC (link)
He touched her hand and she looked down, smirking slightly, before looking up at him again. "I know what this is," she told him, the edge of a purr in her voice. "I know this whole little game." moving forward she pressed herself against him, one hand slipping down his chest and ending on his inner thigh.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 01:24 pm UTC (link)
"I'm not playing any game," Pierre murmured. The inference hurt him, but he wasn't going to fight back. Not unless he thought that anything he said might do some good for Del, which it probably wouldn't right now. Besides, he wasn't sure if this was just her trying to distract him with sex (which he wouldn't let her if he could at all avoid it), or if there was something else more dire about to occur...
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 01:27 pm UTC (link)
She looked in his eyes and saw that kindness still there. It wouldn't do. It wouldn't do at all. It made her want to be cruel. The smirk wouldn't leave her face and suddenly she pushed him back hard against the wall and kissed him hard, crushing her lips against his.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 01:33 pm UTC (link)
The impact against the wall shocked him enough that for a few long seconds, he barely reacted at all to the kiss. He had become accustomed to the way that Del liked sex a little rougher than he normally did it, but this was... different. She wasn't doing it to be sexy... she was verging on violent. There was never any love on her end, or so she claimed, but right now, he couldn't even tell if she liked him at all.
He put his hands on her sides and tried to push her back gently but firmly, having no desire at all to hurt her. "Del," he said through stolen breaths, "What are you doing?"
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 01:40 pm UTC (link)
"Come on, Pierre," she almost snarled, before running her tongue along the side of his throat. "Don't you want me?" She peeled off her shirt and tossed it aside, pressing herself against him further.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 01:46 pm UTC (link)
"I do want you," Pierre assured her, still trying to hold her back without actually doing anything drastic. "But not like this. You may not love me..." Oh God... Her tongue on his neck still sent shivers up his spine... "But I need you to respect me," he finished, falling back into the discipline his Sensei had taught him to resist her. "This isn't what I want. I want you."
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 01:50 pm UTC (link)
"Well," she told him, pushing against him, "this is me. Get used to it." She twisted her fingers into his hair at the top of his neck and pulled him to kiss her. She wasn't looking for affection from him. Didn't want it, didn't need it.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 01:56 pm UTC (link)
Great. Shouldn't have let that happen. With his long hair wrapped around her fingers, he couldn't pull away, at least not without ripping out a huge chunk of hair. He tried to close his lips against her, but she was too forceful, and then her tongue was in his mouth and there was nothing he could do about it...
So much for nothing drastic. Doing his best not to hurt either of them, he lifted Del up and set her down on the bed. At least now he wasn't pinned against the wall, but... now they were on the bed, and he was on top of her.
Oh, this would end well.
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:00 pm UTC (link)
She was winning. There was some silent battle of wits going on and Del was filled with dirty overpowering triumph and the look crept onto her face. After all, now they were on the bed, him pressing down on her and her already partly unclothed, her bra and pants would be off in moments she predicted. And she didn't let anything matter right then, not the drinking, not the crying, not the cutting, none of it. She would have Pierre and she would break him before she let him in.
She met his lips again, wanting him to need her desperatly. She slid her hand down to begin unbuckling his belt.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 02:04 pm UTC (link)
He had to move, had to get out of this, had to pull away. But how could he fight without hurting her? She had no concern for anything in this, except for escaping her emotions by any means necessary.
Well, he'd sooner let himself be hurt. He jerked away from her hard, trying to get out of her grip before things escalated beyond the point of no return.
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:07 pm UTC (link)
She made a small noise of surprise when he was suddenly gone but then smirked, crawling across the bed and lying on her side propping her head on her hand and smiling faux-sweetly at him. "This is what you want, Pierre, then this is what you get."
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 02:14 pm UTC (link)
"I told you what I want," Pierre said, and this time it was he who was backing away from contact. "I want you. Not this lie. You're hiding yourself under whatever it is you think you're giving me now." His eyes were pleading with her as he spoke. "You won't find the real me in bed, Del. At least not until..." No point in even going there. "Delilah... what do you want? Are you going to pretend that this is enough forever?"
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:18 pm UTC (link)
No, no, no, this was no good. This was no good at all. What was all this talking? All this delving?? No good!
"What do I want?" She looked at him for a moment and then unhooked her bra, feeling the weight of her breasts as she pulled it off. "I want you," she purred, dark eyes locked on his with the best sultry expression she could muster.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 02:29 pm UTC (link)
"Do you?" Pierre asked. He moved closer to her, not reaching out to touch, but kneeling by the side of the bed. "This is me. I'm right here. I'm an open book, Del. Is this the me that you want? Or..." He looked away, then looked up at her again. "If I am no more than Ry, tell me now. Look me in the eye and tell me that all you want from me is sex. And I... if you can do that, here and now, after what you have told me, and everything that I have said to you, then I will believe you. And I'll stop."
He tried to set his heart against her reaction. He felt guilty at the ultimatum, but this moment had to be make or break. Otherwise they would be perpetually stuck in this limbo, and that was more than he could bear. He couldn't deal with it for another moment...
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:36 pm UTC (link)
She looked at him. Don't you make me do this, don't you make me say this, don't you dare, don't you make me! She hoped the pleading wasn't evident in her eyes and she looked away, angry, and grabbed for her bra. "Fine," she told him, putting it back on and doing it up. "That's just fine. You can do whatever you like and I don't care. God, I don't care." she stood and grabbed for her bag. She needed something and she didn't know what. All she knew was she'd spent the last two nights drinking to forget, and cutting into her flesh to escape.
God, she didn't care! She'd tell herself that over and over again even as the marks on her arms burned.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 02:42 pm UTC (link)
"I don't believe you," Pierre murmured. She was going to go. He had to do something. Fuck it all.
He rose and in one swift movement, pulled Del into his arms and kissed her. Not roughly like she had done to him, but deeply and lovingly. He pulled back before he wanted to, not giving her a chance to preempt him, and looked deep into her eyes.
"I lied," he said breathlessly. "I won't stop. I love you."
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:44 pm UTC (link)
She stared at him in shock for a moment and then came back to herself completly and hit him. She struck him hard across the face and then pushed him back away from her. "Fuck you! Who the fuck do you think you are??"
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 02:46 pm UTC (link)
"A better man than him!" Pierre returned before he could stop himself. His hand rose to his face where Del had struck him, the hurt burning in his eyes.
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:52 pm UTC (link)
A better man that him!
Anger burned behind her eyes. A better man. Christopher. "Fuck you," she hissed, barely able to get the words out. The anger made her dizzy and her vision blur. So much she wanted to yell right then but couldn't get it out. She just stood there, glaring, her eyes filling with tears she didn't want. "I'll never belong to you."
She wanted to leave. Wanted to move. Wanted to get away before she cried. Before she died. But she couldn't move.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 02:56 pm UTC (link)
"How can you think he's worth your time when he'd just as soon spend it with Slink, or fuck knows who else?" It hadn't even occurred to him that it wasn't Ry she was defending. "Do you think he'll ever belong to you?"
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:59 pm UTC (link)
Ry. What? She shook her head. "What the hell does anything have to even do with RY?" she shouted. "For fuck's sake, do you think I care? Do you think I want him to belong to me?" She was finding her strength again, at least a little. "I like fucking Ry because he doesn't want me! That's the whole bloody reason I like him! Because he doesn't look into my eyes like there's something deeper he wants there!"
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eligible_boy
2006-06-03 07:21 am UTC (link)
The brief flare of emotion within him was already beginning to subside. Pierre was difficult to anger, and even then, it faded quickly. The pain, however, didn't. That was raw and throbbing and agonising.
"Then why do you come back to me?" he asked her. "If you do not like what you see in my eyes, and you can get the sex elsewhere... then what? What is it that brings you here to me?"
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learntocrucify
2006-06-03 08:53 am UTC (link)
She stood there and tried to find an answer that wasn't...
"I like the sex," the smirked, the look on her face as cruel as she could make it.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-03 11:58 am UTC (link)
Pierre sighed heavily. So we are back to this again. Right where we started.
"If you are just here for the sex, I wonder why you are still talking to me about this... didn't you just say that you can get the same thing from Ry, with none of the problems that come with me?"
He was barely even entertaining the idea that this conversation could actually be of any help to anyone any more. But for some reason, he wasn't going to let it go until Delilah walked out of his door...
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learntocrucify
2006-06-03 12:21 pm UTC (link)
Delilah, for her part, had no plans to walk out the door. She knew what she had to do to make this all fixed. She had to make him hate her. She had to make him angry enough to do something that would give her an excuse to walk out.
"You're right," she said, looking almost amused (or at least feigning it) "Ry is better than you."
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eligible_boy
2006-06-03 12:33 pm UTC (link)
That caused a flash of anger, and his eyes narrowed momentarily, but it subsided almost instantly. Through the haze of pain and emotion, he could see that she was trying to hurt him. Desperately.
"No," Pierre said, shaking his head. "He isn't. He's just more convenient. But I'm not here to be convenient, Del. I'm here to help my friend, who I love. And it is going to hurt. But you are not going to stop me. I will love you until you accept me, or leave me forever. Either way, I will still love you. But the choice is always yours. To make it is one thing I cannot do."
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learntocrucify
2006-06-03 12:35 pm UTC (link)
She watched him, silent and calculating, and then said coldly, "But I don't love you."
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eligible_boy
2006-06-03 12:45 pm UTC (link)
The words were like a cold knife in his heart, and he cleanched his jaw, trying not to show the pain. Baring his heart was one thing, showing weakness was another. That wouldn't help.
"You don't have to," he said. He moved over to the bed and sat down, tired of being confrontational. "I've never forced anything from you. I only take what you give me. And if you won't give me your love..." he sighed helplessly. "I can only try to inspire it. I love you. For my part, that is all that is required." God, now he sounded like Tasha. Hate me if you will, she would say. It won't influence my thoughts one jot. I like you. I'll take that loyalty to me grave. Woe be to anyone who harms you. She'd said that to Jean.
He wasn't really like her, though, was he?
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learntocrucify
2006-06-03 12:51 pm UTC (link)
She kept her eyes on him. She was making herself colder and coler inside with every word. All of them hurt her but she couldn't let them. She couldn't break down. "Is that it?" she asked.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-03 12:56 pm UTC (link)
"I suppose it is," Pierre sighed. What more could he do?
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learntocrucify
2006-06-03 12:57 pm UTC (link)
With a nod she pulled her bag onto her shoulder and walked toward the door. "See you around then." She looked over her shoulder. "I'll keep your advice in mind and stick with Ry."
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eligible_boy
2006-06-03 01:04 pm UTC (link)
He bit back the urge to call her back. What would it achieve, except a few moments more of heartache? They had said everything they possibly could, including words that he had never imagined spoken between them.
He'd done what everyone had advised. He'd told her he loved her. Now, he had to wait. Wait and see if she came around, or if this whole thing self-destructed and exploded in both of their faces.
Oh God. What if he had just made things infinitely worse?
When he was sure she would be gone, he threw a change of clothes into his backpack, grabbed his board, and headed for the dojo. He needed Sensei, catharsis, and a Hell of a good fight.
Now came the much scarier task and Delilah was almost shaking as she rode her bike up into the driveway at Victoria Lane and stepped off. She had to grab the clothing she'd left here the night before but she still wasn't sure what to do about Pierre. She suddenly wished she was drunk again.
Please don't be home, please don't be home... she thought as she knocked on the front door.
eligible_boy
2006-06-02 11:48 am UTC (link)
Of course, it was Pierre who opened it, clad in his bumming around gear of loose blue jeans and a ratty Iron Maiden t-shirt, his hair falling loosely about his face.
"Del," he said, inwardly kicking himself for the sheer obviousness of the statement - yes, it was indeed Del - but unable to really say much else.
"Um, come in," he finally got out, stepping aside to let her through. What the Hell was wrong with him? She said she'd come back...
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 11:51 am UTC (link)
Her heart thundered and she nodded. "Hey," she said neuterally stepping inside cautiously and then turning to look at him, face looking even paler than usual. "I had to come get my stuff," she explained
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 11:55 am UTC (link)
"I know," Pierre nodded. "I put it in my closet to be safe..." He stepped forward a little, wanting to hug her, but hovering awkwardly in between reaching towards her and not.
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 12:00 pm UTC (link)
She saw the movement and sidestepped it easily, walking toward the stairs instead. "Cool. Thanks." She felt exposed in front of him now that he knew what he knew. Delilah had never told anyone about Christopher before and now Pierre knew.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 12:02 pm UTC (link)
Pierre couldn't fail to notice her movement, but tried not to let it throw him too much... although, much as he had expected it, it still hurt.
He followed Del up the stairs towards his room, and before he had given himself too much of a chance to think about it, and therefore think better of it, he closed the door behind them. He wanted to at least try to talk to her before she left again.
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 12:04 pm UTC (link)
She didn't even notice the door shut and moved over to the waredrobe, pulling out the things she'd left. (A bag, a tight little black tank top and black shirt, as well as random little accsessories she'd removed from herself.) She threw it all into the bag and then stood up again, not moving any further from there and not turning to look at him.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 12:11 pm UTC (link)
"Delilah," Pierre said gently, crossing the room to stand closer to her, but hopefully not close enough to bother her. "It's good that I know. I know it hurts... I know I can't begin to imagine... but I understand now. I understand why things have been the way they have, oui?"
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 12:13 pm UTC (link)
Been. He used the past tense. He said it like now they would be differant. Del turned and looked at him, her face a cold mask that revealed nothing. She watched him silently. Let him speak if he wanted, and she'd listen if she had to. She only removed her eyes from his when the caring there became too much for her to bare, and she flicked them away to look out the window.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 12:34 pm UTC (link)
No words from her. Nothing, really, no indication that what he said had meant anything. What else could he do but keep trying?
"I know you didn't want to tell me. But now that you have... well, if there is more... if there are things that are there, whether you realised before or not, if you need to talk about it, or if there is anything I can do, please... talk to me. I meant what I said when I told you I would be here for you, no matter what."
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 12:55 pm UTC (link)
She looked at him again and swalloed. "What is there to talk about?" she asked, almost genuinly curious as to what he thought he could do.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 01:00 pm UTC (link)
"What you feel. What you're afraid of. It might be better to ask yourself what there is to talk about... I can only guess." He sighed. "What I want is for you to be happy. I do not see that now. If I cannot take away your pain, I at least want to help you not have to bottle it up and repress it and suffer alone. Please... don't be alone."
He couldn't help gently reaching for her hand. Don't be alone.
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 01:20 pm UTC (link)
He touched her hand and she looked down, smirking slightly, before looking up at him again. "I know what this is," she told him, the edge of a purr in her voice. "I know this whole little game." moving forward she pressed herself against him, one hand slipping down his chest and ending on his inner thigh.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 01:24 pm UTC (link)
"I'm not playing any game," Pierre murmured. The inference hurt him, but he wasn't going to fight back. Not unless he thought that anything he said might do some good for Del, which it probably wouldn't right now. Besides, he wasn't sure if this was just her trying to distract him with sex (which he wouldn't let her if he could at all avoid it), or if there was something else more dire about to occur...
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 01:27 pm UTC (link)
She looked in his eyes and saw that kindness still there. It wouldn't do. It wouldn't do at all. It made her want to be cruel. The smirk wouldn't leave her face and suddenly she pushed him back hard against the wall and kissed him hard, crushing her lips against his.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 01:33 pm UTC (link)
The impact against the wall shocked him enough that for a few long seconds, he barely reacted at all to the kiss. He had become accustomed to the way that Del liked sex a little rougher than he normally did it, but this was... different. She wasn't doing it to be sexy... she was verging on violent. There was never any love on her end, or so she claimed, but right now, he couldn't even tell if she liked him at all.
He put his hands on her sides and tried to push her back gently but firmly, having no desire at all to hurt her. "Del," he said through stolen breaths, "What are you doing?"
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 01:40 pm UTC (link)
"Come on, Pierre," she almost snarled, before running her tongue along the side of his throat. "Don't you want me?" She peeled off her shirt and tossed it aside, pressing herself against him further.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 01:46 pm UTC (link)
"I do want you," Pierre assured her, still trying to hold her back without actually doing anything drastic. "But not like this. You may not love me..." Oh God... Her tongue on his neck still sent shivers up his spine... "But I need you to respect me," he finished, falling back into the discipline his Sensei had taught him to resist her. "This isn't what I want. I want you."
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 01:50 pm UTC (link)
"Well," she told him, pushing against him, "this is me. Get used to it." She twisted her fingers into his hair at the top of his neck and pulled him to kiss her. She wasn't looking for affection from him. Didn't want it, didn't need it.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 01:56 pm UTC (link)
Great. Shouldn't have let that happen. With his long hair wrapped around her fingers, he couldn't pull away, at least not without ripping out a huge chunk of hair. He tried to close his lips against her, but she was too forceful, and then her tongue was in his mouth and there was nothing he could do about it...
So much for nothing drastic. Doing his best not to hurt either of them, he lifted Del up and set her down on the bed. At least now he wasn't pinned against the wall, but... now they were on the bed, and he was on top of her.
Oh, this would end well.
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:00 pm UTC (link)
She was winning. There was some silent battle of wits going on and Del was filled with dirty overpowering triumph and the look crept onto her face. After all, now they were on the bed, him pressing down on her and her already partly unclothed, her bra and pants would be off in moments she predicted. And she didn't let anything matter right then, not the drinking, not the crying, not the cutting, none of it. She would have Pierre and she would break him before she let him in.
She met his lips again, wanting him to need her desperatly. She slid her hand down to begin unbuckling his belt.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 02:04 pm UTC (link)
He had to move, had to get out of this, had to pull away. But how could he fight without hurting her? She had no concern for anything in this, except for escaping her emotions by any means necessary.
Well, he'd sooner let himself be hurt. He jerked away from her hard, trying to get out of her grip before things escalated beyond the point of no return.
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:07 pm UTC (link)
She made a small noise of surprise when he was suddenly gone but then smirked, crawling across the bed and lying on her side propping her head on her hand and smiling faux-sweetly at him. "This is what you want, Pierre, then this is what you get."
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 02:14 pm UTC (link)
"I told you what I want," Pierre said, and this time it was he who was backing away from contact. "I want you. Not this lie. You're hiding yourself under whatever it is you think you're giving me now." His eyes were pleading with her as he spoke. "You won't find the real me in bed, Del. At least not until..." No point in even going there. "Delilah... what do you want? Are you going to pretend that this is enough forever?"
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:18 pm UTC (link)
No, no, no, this was no good. This was no good at all. What was all this talking? All this delving?? No good!
"What do I want?" She looked at him for a moment and then unhooked her bra, feeling the weight of her breasts as she pulled it off. "I want you," she purred, dark eyes locked on his with the best sultry expression she could muster.
(Reply to this)
eligible_boy
2006-06-02 02:29 pm UTC (link)
"Do you?" Pierre asked. He moved closer to her, not reaching out to touch, but kneeling by the side of the bed. "This is me. I'm right here. I'm an open book, Del. Is this the me that you want? Or..." He looked away, then looked up at her again. "If I am no more than Ry, tell me now. Look me in the eye and tell me that all you want from me is sex. And I... if you can do that, here and now, after what you have told me, and everything that I have said to you, then I will believe you. And I'll stop."
He tried to set his heart against her reaction. He felt guilty at the ultimatum, but this moment had to be make or break. Otherwise they would be perpetually stuck in this limbo, and that was more than he could bear. He couldn't deal with it for another moment...
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:36 pm UTC (link)
She looked at him. Don't you make me do this, don't you make me say this, don't you dare, don't you make me! She hoped the pleading wasn't evident in her eyes and she looked away, angry, and grabbed for her bra. "Fine," she told him, putting it back on and doing it up. "That's just fine. You can do whatever you like and I don't care. God, I don't care." she stood and grabbed for her bag. She needed something and she didn't know what. All she knew was she'd spent the last two nights drinking to forget, and cutting into her flesh to escape.
God, she didn't care! She'd tell herself that over and over again even as the marks on her arms burned.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 02:42 pm UTC (link)
"I don't believe you," Pierre murmured. She was going to go. He had to do something. Fuck it all.
He rose and in one swift movement, pulled Del into his arms and kissed her. Not roughly like she had done to him, but deeply and lovingly. He pulled back before he wanted to, not giving her a chance to preempt him, and looked deep into her eyes.
"I lied," he said breathlessly. "I won't stop. I love you."
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:44 pm UTC (link)
She stared at him in shock for a moment and then came back to herself completly and hit him. She struck him hard across the face and then pushed him back away from her. "Fuck you! Who the fuck do you think you are??"
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 02:46 pm UTC (link)
"A better man than him!" Pierre returned before he could stop himself. His hand rose to his face where Del had struck him, the hurt burning in his eyes.
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:52 pm UTC (link)
A better man that him!
Anger burned behind her eyes. A better man. Christopher. "Fuck you," she hissed, barely able to get the words out. The anger made her dizzy and her vision blur. So much she wanted to yell right then but couldn't get it out. She just stood there, glaring, her eyes filling with tears she didn't want. "I'll never belong to you."
She wanted to leave. Wanted to move. Wanted to get away before she cried. Before she died. But she couldn't move.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-02 02:56 pm UTC (link)
"How can you think he's worth your time when he'd just as soon spend it with Slink, or fuck knows who else?" It hadn't even occurred to him that it wasn't Ry she was defending. "Do you think he'll ever belong to you?"
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learntocrucify
2006-06-02 02:59 pm UTC (link)
Ry. What? She shook her head. "What the hell does anything have to even do with RY?" she shouted. "For fuck's sake, do you think I care? Do you think I want him to belong to me?" She was finding her strength again, at least a little. "I like fucking Ry because he doesn't want me! That's the whole bloody reason I like him! Because he doesn't look into my eyes like there's something deeper he wants there!"
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eligible_boy
2006-06-03 07:21 am UTC (link)
The brief flare of emotion within him was already beginning to subside. Pierre was difficult to anger, and even then, it faded quickly. The pain, however, didn't. That was raw and throbbing and agonising.
"Then why do you come back to me?" he asked her. "If you do not like what you see in my eyes, and you can get the sex elsewhere... then what? What is it that brings you here to me?"
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learntocrucify
2006-06-03 08:53 am UTC (link)
She stood there and tried to find an answer that wasn't...
"I like the sex," the smirked, the look on her face as cruel as she could make it.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-03 11:58 am UTC (link)
Pierre sighed heavily. So we are back to this again. Right where we started.
"If you are just here for the sex, I wonder why you are still talking to me about this... didn't you just say that you can get the same thing from Ry, with none of the problems that come with me?"
He was barely even entertaining the idea that this conversation could actually be of any help to anyone any more. But for some reason, he wasn't going to let it go until Delilah walked out of his door...
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learntocrucify
2006-06-03 12:21 pm UTC (link)
Delilah, for her part, had no plans to walk out the door. She knew what she had to do to make this all fixed. She had to make him hate her. She had to make him angry enough to do something that would give her an excuse to walk out.
"You're right," she said, looking almost amused (or at least feigning it) "Ry is better than you."
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eligible_boy
2006-06-03 12:33 pm UTC (link)
That caused a flash of anger, and his eyes narrowed momentarily, but it subsided almost instantly. Through the haze of pain and emotion, he could see that she was trying to hurt him. Desperately.
"No," Pierre said, shaking his head. "He isn't. He's just more convenient. But I'm not here to be convenient, Del. I'm here to help my friend, who I love. And it is going to hurt. But you are not going to stop me. I will love you until you accept me, or leave me forever. Either way, I will still love you. But the choice is always yours. To make it is one thing I cannot do."
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learntocrucify
2006-06-03 12:35 pm UTC (link)
She watched him, silent and calculating, and then said coldly, "But I don't love you."
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eligible_boy
2006-06-03 12:45 pm UTC (link)
The words were like a cold knife in his heart, and he cleanched his jaw, trying not to show the pain. Baring his heart was one thing, showing weakness was another. That wouldn't help.
"You don't have to," he said. He moved over to the bed and sat down, tired of being confrontational. "I've never forced anything from you. I only take what you give me. And if you won't give me your love..." he sighed helplessly. "I can only try to inspire it. I love you. For my part, that is all that is required." God, now he sounded like Tasha. Hate me if you will, she would say. It won't influence my thoughts one jot. I like you. I'll take that loyalty to me grave. Woe be to anyone who harms you. She'd said that to Jean.
He wasn't really like her, though, was he?
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learntocrucify
2006-06-03 12:51 pm UTC (link)
She kept her eyes on him. She was making herself colder and coler inside with every word. All of them hurt her but she couldn't let them. She couldn't break down. "Is that it?" she asked.
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eligible_boy
2006-06-03 12:56 pm UTC (link)
"I suppose it is," Pierre sighed. What more could he do?
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learntocrucify
2006-06-03 12:57 pm UTC (link)
With a nod she pulled her bag onto her shoulder and walked toward the door. "See you around then." She looked over her shoulder. "I'll keep your advice in mind and stick with Ry."
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eligible_boy
2006-06-03 01:04 pm UTC (link)
He bit back the urge to call her back. What would it achieve, except a few moments more of heartache? They had said everything they possibly could, including words that he had never imagined spoken between them.
He'd done what everyone had advised. He'd told her he loved her. Now, he had to wait. Wait and see if she came around, or if this whole thing self-destructed and exploded in both of their faces.
Oh God. What if he had just made things infinitely worse?
When he was sure she would be gone, he threw a change of clothes into his backpack, grabbed his board, and headed for the dojo. He needed Sensei, catharsis, and a Hell of a good fight.
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