darker_london | Parley (Thomas, Samson) (Reply)

Thomas left Stephie and Scarlett (though only when they were both awake so that he could tell them. He didn't want them waking up to find him not there) for an hour or so, to visit Samson Mors. He felt that he had a lot to say to the man, including thanks. There was more, too. He wanted to speak to Samson about what had been said on Spectre's journal the previous day.

When he appeared in Samson's room, Samson immediately stood to shake his hand. Apparently he wasn't afraid of catching 'the gay germ' from Thomas. "Thomas, how are you feeling?"

"I'm doing fine," Thomas replied, though he was lying through his teeth. He didn't know if Samson would understand his emotions. "I came to thank you because I don't think I was clear about it the other day. I really appreciate what you did down there. You put your hands in the fire. Thank you."

Samson nodded and he took a seat again. "You're welcome. It was nice to get out of this room."

"I bet..." Thomas glanced around and then he took a seat too. Just being in the room now made him want to scream and run away, but he knew he could leave whenever he wanted. "I wanted to talk to you about what you said on Spectre's journal last night."

"Was I displeasing in some way?" Samon looked concerned and Thomas wanted to give him a pat on the head or something. He looked a little like a puppy who had done something wrong, but wasn't sure exactly what.

"No, Samson. Not at all. I was impressed you said nothing about the fact that I was publicly proclaiming love for your son."

"It didn't seem the place to voice my personal beliefs," Samson replied honestly. "I don't like that he is quite open about his opinion on the matter of his sexuality. For me to then do the same would be hypocrisy."

"That's...true..." Thomas hadn't actually ever thought of it that way. Especially considering the fact that Samson had once told Spectre the only reason Samson hadn't mutilated him the second he found out for certain that Spectre was gay, was because Samson was determined to cure the gay out of him so Spectre could beget him grandchildren. Thomas had thought that was pretty damn proclaimy, but perhaps Samson considered what he did to his children to be a private forum.

"I do not approve of your union. Though to be honest, if this is what he is going to choose despite the consequenses, he could have done much worse."

Thomas snorted, but he smiled anyway. He could see Samson was trying to compliment him without complimenting him. "Well thank you. Samson, you said you loved Spectre."

"I do love Adrian. And I love Mara. I have always loved my family, Thomas. Why do you think I was so desperate to save them? I couldn't bear the thought of my children in Hell. I still can't, and it brings me such pain each day to see the paths they both have chosen. But I have also come to realise that those mistakes are theirs to make and I am helpless to stop it. All I managed to do, in all my attempts to keep them from Hellfire, was to drive them closer to it. I have to live with the pain that they will not be with me in paradise."

They could deal with the Hellfire issue later, because Thomas was determined to prove to Samson that it wasn't actually an issue. The rest of it, however, made a sad sort of sense. Samson had done all of it out of love, that much was clear now. He had a disturbing way of showing it, but to Samson, what he had said on Spectre's journal would be normal. Even if he didn't say the words out loud (and even on Spectre's journal he had not said the words, only agreed with Thomas') he still had tried to show his love through his actions. "I think, Samson, it might do Spectre some good if you told him how you feel. In person, not...when he comes back. I might not be here, but that might be better. It's probably a conversation just between you two anyway."

"Do you think he doesn't know, Thomas?" Samson looked worried then. Very worried. That his own son might not know how he felt was deeply troubling to the angel.

"I think it would be very easy for him to translate your aversion to his lifestyle as an aversion to him. I think, Samson, that he grew up with the belief that you didn't like him much at all. And even though we can see that's not the case now, he didn't necessarily have any way of knowing then that it wasn't..."

The colour drained from Samson's face and he stared in horror at Thomas, even after the words left his mouth and silence hung in the air. Samson finally broke it, his own voice small and horrified. "He thought I didn't love him?"

"You'll have to ask him yourself to be certain, Samson. But forgive me for saying...if he did, I understand why he felt that way. He spent his childhood hungry and in pain. Mara's was the same until a year and a half ago. They were made to see and experience terrible things. Spectre felt he had no choice but to run away from his home because he couldn't stand it anymore. And while you say this all was done out of love, the examples he saw of love around him differed so vastly from his own experience.

"He saw his fellow schoolmates going home to family dinners and nights in front of the telly. And he returned home to fasting, being forced to watch you and your wife eating without him, and then either witnessing Bible stories, or studying them. He was expected to know the Bible front and back and if he didn't, he was punished. None of the kids he went to school with would have that going on at home. He would sit in the music room, listening to his friends talk about the movies they saw on the weekend, or the party they had, and all this would fester away in his lonely heart. He had to watch them eat their lunches, while he was provided with a breadroll, if that. And that would fester too, believe me.

"Everything he experienced...it can't just be ignored. You can't pretend it didn't happen, and that it didn't hurt him. Samson, even though you say it came from love, it didn't cause love in him and he didn't feel loved. That has to be acknowledged. Yesterday he didn't respond to you because, in his mind, it came out of nowhere. To you, it seemed natural and obvious. It's something you need to work out together, but I really think you can. Now that you are willing to listen to his side. And you need to really listen, Samson. If he says he was in pain, instead of saying it was necessary or he deserved it...apologise. Listen. Accept."

"Is this what a Godly man does?" Samson asked, after listening for so long. He didn't know what to say about the rest of it. He still believed that he hadn't made egregious errors in the way he had raised his children, even if the law seemed to. What he did see now, was that they took issue with it and that none of it had helped. As that was the case, he needed to stop. And now he was listening. "Is this what you would do, Thomas?"

Thomas nodded then. "It is what I would do, though that isn't why you should do it. You should do it because if you do, your relationship with your son might be somewhat repaired. He's really proud of you, Samson. Everything you're doing now...it's really good. Helping me despite taking issue with our relationship was a big help in that regard. It shows that you're willing to look past your beliefs when you weren't before. He really wants to know you, Samson. He wants you to know him. He was lost for a long time. And he has made his way in this world alone. To have that parental guidance after so long, I think, would mean so much to him. I'm proud too, Samson. And I really appreciated what you said yesterday on his journal. I really did."

Samson nodded, showing a bit of a smile. "I did assume that much."

"Wonderful. Now we should eat something. Because it's good for us. Would you like to come to the cafeteria with me?"

"Would I be allowed?" Samson said, his eyebrows raised.

"I'll keep an eye on you. Make sure you don't go a runner." Thomas winked. "Come on, Samson. Give us this day our daily bread." And he offered Samson his hand. He smiled then, because Samson took it.