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The demon Amaris haunts Thomas’ dreams more often that he will ever admit, because he is too proud and he doesn't want his loved ones to know the power she has over him. It is a struggle every day just to get the things she did to him out of his mind and at night he has no defences. He has no husband to smile at him, his expression reassuring. He has no children around him to distract him with ever more curious questions about the world. He is alone with his dreams and she always finds him.
No one on Earth or in the Beyond has ever hurt Thomas as much as Amaris Van den Hoff managed to hurt him when he was at her mercy for two weeks. He had been reduced to nothing and he had done unspeakable things to try to stay alive in the face of starvation and thirst and one terrifying and murderous demon. And though he had survived his ordeal, Amaris had seen him sacrifice himself to save his loved ones. His sister and Peter Kemp. And now Thomas has another chance and life and Amaris is locked up in Robert MacGavillary Memorial Hospital where she can’t hurt anyone and even then, Thomas can’t get her out of his dreams.
She lurks around the corners of sleep and when dreams take him, she lies in wait. Thomas dreams about the horrors he suffered at her hands the memories opening old wounds more effectively than if he had deliberately injured himself; but Amaris shows him new horrors in his dreams as well. And in the wake of his ordeal with Paige, Amaris’ starring role in his dreams is kicked into overdrive.
Thomas is standing on a cliff and below him there is a valley. A river slices its way through the rock at the very bottom of the gorge and Thomas has to squint to see into its depths. It looks hungry.
Amaris is beside him and though Thomas believes he should be terrified, he remains calm, which is in itself alarming. He turns to look at her, to see she is watching him. “It’s pretty,” he says of the valley below. It's a lie. The valley's gaping maw unnerves him. He has a feeling he knows who will be fed to it.
Amaris nods and then she smirks at him and Thomas doesn’t like that expression on her face. “You’re scheming something.” It would be a choice Thomas would have to make. Amaris’ plans always involve Thomas choosing between two horrible things. It is her favourite game and no matter what, it leaves him ripped to shreds.
“Always,” she informs him, pleased with herself. “If I push your sister off, this ledge would you kill yourself to give her wings, or let her die on the rocks below?”
Thomas knows the answer. He always knows the answer. “I would die for her,” he says, as his eyes narrow. “You know that.” This can’t be about Abby. They have already crossed this bridge and Thomas lost his life. She wouldn't bother with the same stakes. It would bore her.
“And her?” Amaris pulls Paige from behind her back and the young girl twists and screams in Amaris’ arms.
Paige is only eighteen, but this afternoon she assaulted Thomas using her unique telekinesis. While Thomas is sure Paige didn’t understand what she was doing, he still feels violated and he is unsure that she is angel material anyway. He doesn’t believe he can simply kill himself to become an angelic spirit and be able to give her the wings she would need to fly. He can't save her with his death. “It wouldn’t work,” he finally replies. “But I would try.”
Amaris’ smile is wide and terrifying. “How about this one? You let her finish what she started, or I push her off this cliff and into the water below. Tick tock, Tommyboy. Tick tock.” And now Thomas knows why Amaris mentioned giving Paige wings. Because she wanted him to know he could not.
The choice, for Thomas, is obvious but that doesn’t make it any more wanted. Thomas will allow Paige to violate him, in order to win her life for her. It isn’t fair, but it’s a fairer game than Amaris usually plays. If he lets Paige do what she will no one has to die. “Do it,” he tells Paige, and almost immediately he can feel her caressing his manhood using only her mind-
Spectre isn’t usually glad that he is able to recognise the sound of his husband experiencing trauma, but there are times when it comes in handy. Ever a light sleeper, Spectre is roused by Thomas whimpering beside him and immediately Spectre sits up, his hands gently reaching towards Thomas. Spectre knows to be careful. Thomas is dreaming and even if Thomas doesn’t admit it out loud, Spectre knows that Thomas’ dreams are usually of Amaris when he sounds like everything hurts and there is no point in fighting the pain any more. Spectre was forced to watch a grotesque video of the indignities Thomas had suffered at Amaris’ hands. He knows what Amaris-pain sounds like. When Thomas sounds like he is giving up, that is the mark of Amaris. He also knows that if he wakes Thomas up without being careful, his much larger husband might wake up terrified and accidentally hurt Spectre as he did so. Thomas’ guilt couldn’t take that.
“Thomas,” Spectre whispers, his hand resting lightly on Thomas’ arm. “Thomas, you’re dreaming.”
Thomas does not wake up. In fact Spectre tries everything to rouse his husband until eventually he is shaking Thomas almost violently, and Thomas slumbers on. “Dammit, Thomas!” Spectre cries out at him, and Thomas lets out what sounds to Spectre like a sob.
He has one choice. Spectre is an angel and he has the power to enter dreams. He has promised Thomas before that he wouldn’t enter Thomas’ nightmares because the last thing Thomas wants is for Spectre to see the things he suffers again and again, but Spectre has never been unable to wake Thomas before. He is worried and terrified himself and so, though he hates breaking a promise to his husband, Spectre decides it is for the best.
He does his best to relax beside a husband who’s frightened whimpering is growing louder and louder, and when Spectre feels it is safe, he allows himself to slip under, into Thomas’ dream.
Thomas is still on the edge of a cliff, but he is kneeling now, his hands in front of him as if he is afraid he will topple forward. Amaris is beside him, her claw-like hands gripping a diminutive blonde girl who is staring at Thomas with such intensity that Spectre is immediately on guard. It takes a moment, but he recognises her as Paige Winterbourne and then he understands. Amaris is somehow making Thomas let Paige assault him. It's so dreadfully and horribly Amaris.
“THOMAS!” Spectre yells, as loudly as he can. This is Thomas’ dream and the rules are not his to set, but he still manages to make himself heard.
Spectre watches as Thomas lifts his head to face his husband. Spectre recognises the look on Thomas’ face as one of sexual gratification, but he can tell that Thomas is not enjoying a single second of it. It is being forced out of him and the sight of it makes Spectre himself whimper. It turns his dream-body stomach and he is sure it will haunt him for a very long time. Thomas’ cheeks are streaked with tears and his eyes are full of apology the moment he recognises Spectre. And even as Spectre runs towards him, Thomas’ eyes roll back into his head and he lets out what sounds like a pained and mournful cry before he collapses onto his side.
Spectre knows. He understands. Thomas didn’t want to climax, but the friction Paige was able to cause with her mind was too much and he has. Spectre reaches his side and he immediately crouches next to Thomas. “Baby!” he says loudly. “You’re dreaming!” Amaris and Paige have disappeared now that they have completed their objective.. They are alone.
“Thomas, wake up!”
Thomas says nothing. He lies still and when Spectre feels Thomas’ skin, it is cold.
Thomas has dreamed his own telekinetic rape and death and for a moment, Spectre forgets that this is a dream and he panics. The grief is enough to pull a lamenting wail out of his throat before he realises he is not completely powerless here.
Then the answer dawns on him and without a second thought, he pushes Thomas over the edge of the cliff and into the hungry mouth of the gorge, down towards the river below.
Thomas awakens with a petrified scream and an instant later Spectre is hovering over him, looking tired and worried. His wings are out and Thomas barely notices. “Oh, Jesus!” Thomas cries out, covering his face with his hands. “Oh, Jesus Christ!”
“I’m sorry!” Spectre says, his own voice high-pitched and petrified. “I panicked. I had to wake you up somehow!”
Thomas reacts instantly, pulling Spectre into his arms so he can feel the comfort Spectre provides. He doesn't care that Spectre pushed him off the cliff, and he doesn't care that Spectre shouldn't have been in his dream in the first place. He only cares that he is no longer alone. He has the arms and the wings of his husband to remind him of that.
"Spectre," Thomas whispers, shuddering into Spectre's neck. Spectre can feel that his neck is wet and he knows Thomas is crying. He feels like his heart might break.
"Thomas, my love-"
"It won't ever end," Thomas whispers, cutting off Spectre's reassuring voice. And there in the dark, despite wings and arms and whispered words, it feels like they've won. The Paiges and the Amarises of the world can still hurt him and it doesn't seem right.
No one on Earth or in the Beyond has ever hurt Thomas as much as Amaris Van den Hoff managed to hurt him when he was at her mercy for two weeks. He had been reduced to nothing and he had done unspeakable things to try to stay alive in the face of starvation and thirst and one terrifying and murderous demon. And though he had survived his ordeal, Amaris had seen him sacrifice himself to save his loved ones. His sister and Peter Kemp. And now Thomas has another chance and life and Amaris is locked up in Robert MacGavillary Memorial Hospital where she can’t hurt anyone and even then, Thomas can’t get her out of his dreams.
She lurks around the corners of sleep and when dreams take him, she lies in wait. Thomas dreams about the horrors he suffered at her hands the memories opening old wounds more effectively than if he had deliberately injured himself; but Amaris shows him new horrors in his dreams as well. And in the wake of his ordeal with Paige, Amaris’ starring role in his dreams is kicked into overdrive.
Thomas is standing on a cliff and below him there is a valley. A river slices its way through the rock at the very bottom of the gorge and Thomas has to squint to see into its depths. It looks hungry.
Amaris is beside him and though Thomas believes he should be terrified, he remains calm, which is in itself alarming. He turns to look at her, to see she is watching him. “It’s pretty,” he says of the valley below. It's a lie. The valley's gaping maw unnerves him. He has a feeling he knows who will be fed to it.
Amaris nods and then she smirks at him and Thomas doesn’t like that expression on her face. “You’re scheming something.” It would be a choice Thomas would have to make. Amaris’ plans always involve Thomas choosing between two horrible things. It is her favourite game and no matter what, it leaves him ripped to shreds.
“Always,” she informs him, pleased with herself. “If I push your sister off, this ledge would you kill yourself to give her wings, or let her die on the rocks below?”
Thomas knows the answer. He always knows the answer. “I would die for her,” he says, as his eyes narrow. “You know that.” This can’t be about Abby. They have already crossed this bridge and Thomas lost his life. She wouldn't bother with the same stakes. It would bore her.
“And her?” Amaris pulls Paige from behind her back and the young girl twists and screams in Amaris’ arms.
Paige is only eighteen, but this afternoon she assaulted Thomas using her unique telekinesis. While Thomas is sure Paige didn’t understand what she was doing, he still feels violated and he is unsure that she is angel material anyway. He doesn’t believe he can simply kill himself to become an angelic spirit and be able to give her the wings she would need to fly. He can't save her with his death. “It wouldn’t work,” he finally replies. “But I would try.”
Amaris’ smile is wide and terrifying. “How about this one? You let her finish what she started, or I push her off this cliff and into the water below. Tick tock, Tommyboy. Tick tock.” And now Thomas knows why Amaris mentioned giving Paige wings. Because she wanted him to know he could not.
The choice, for Thomas, is obvious but that doesn’t make it any more wanted. Thomas will allow Paige to violate him, in order to win her life for her. It isn’t fair, but it’s a fairer game than Amaris usually plays. If he lets Paige do what she will no one has to die. “Do it,” he tells Paige, and almost immediately he can feel her caressing his manhood using only her mind-
Spectre isn’t usually glad that he is able to recognise the sound of his husband experiencing trauma, but there are times when it comes in handy. Ever a light sleeper, Spectre is roused by Thomas whimpering beside him and immediately Spectre sits up, his hands gently reaching towards Thomas. Spectre knows to be careful. Thomas is dreaming and even if Thomas doesn’t admit it out loud, Spectre knows that Thomas’ dreams are usually of Amaris when he sounds like everything hurts and there is no point in fighting the pain any more. Spectre was forced to watch a grotesque video of the indignities Thomas had suffered at Amaris’ hands. He knows what Amaris-pain sounds like. When Thomas sounds like he is giving up, that is the mark of Amaris. He also knows that if he wakes Thomas up without being careful, his much larger husband might wake up terrified and accidentally hurt Spectre as he did so. Thomas’ guilt couldn’t take that.
“Thomas,” Spectre whispers, his hand resting lightly on Thomas’ arm. “Thomas, you’re dreaming.”
Thomas does not wake up. In fact Spectre tries everything to rouse his husband until eventually he is shaking Thomas almost violently, and Thomas slumbers on. “Dammit, Thomas!” Spectre cries out at him, and Thomas lets out what sounds to Spectre like a sob.
He has one choice. Spectre is an angel and he has the power to enter dreams. He has promised Thomas before that he wouldn’t enter Thomas’ nightmares because the last thing Thomas wants is for Spectre to see the things he suffers again and again, but Spectre has never been unable to wake Thomas before. He is worried and terrified himself and so, though he hates breaking a promise to his husband, Spectre decides it is for the best.
He does his best to relax beside a husband who’s frightened whimpering is growing louder and louder, and when Spectre feels it is safe, he allows himself to slip under, into Thomas’ dream.
Thomas is still on the edge of a cliff, but he is kneeling now, his hands in front of him as if he is afraid he will topple forward. Amaris is beside him, her claw-like hands gripping a diminutive blonde girl who is staring at Thomas with such intensity that Spectre is immediately on guard. It takes a moment, but he recognises her as Paige Winterbourne and then he understands. Amaris is somehow making Thomas let Paige assault him. It's so dreadfully and horribly Amaris.
“THOMAS!” Spectre yells, as loudly as he can. This is Thomas’ dream and the rules are not his to set, but he still manages to make himself heard.
Spectre watches as Thomas lifts his head to face his husband. Spectre recognises the look on Thomas’ face as one of sexual gratification, but he can tell that Thomas is not enjoying a single second of it. It is being forced out of him and the sight of it makes Spectre himself whimper. It turns his dream-body stomach and he is sure it will haunt him for a very long time. Thomas’ cheeks are streaked with tears and his eyes are full of apology the moment he recognises Spectre. And even as Spectre runs towards him, Thomas’ eyes roll back into his head and he lets out what sounds like a pained and mournful cry before he collapses onto his side.
Spectre knows. He understands. Thomas didn’t want to climax, but the friction Paige was able to cause with her mind was too much and he has. Spectre reaches his side and he immediately crouches next to Thomas. “Baby!” he says loudly. “You’re dreaming!” Amaris and Paige have disappeared now that they have completed their objective.. They are alone.
“Thomas, wake up!”
Thomas says nothing. He lies still and when Spectre feels Thomas’ skin, it is cold.
Thomas has dreamed his own telekinetic rape and death and for a moment, Spectre forgets that this is a dream and he panics. The grief is enough to pull a lamenting wail out of his throat before he realises he is not completely powerless here.
Then the answer dawns on him and without a second thought, he pushes Thomas over the edge of the cliff and into the hungry mouth of the gorge, down towards the river below.
Thomas awakens with a petrified scream and an instant later Spectre is hovering over him, looking tired and worried. His wings are out and Thomas barely notices. “Oh, Jesus!” Thomas cries out, covering his face with his hands. “Oh, Jesus Christ!”
“I’m sorry!” Spectre says, his own voice high-pitched and petrified. “I panicked. I had to wake you up somehow!”
Thomas reacts instantly, pulling Spectre into his arms so he can feel the comfort Spectre provides. He doesn't care that Spectre pushed him off the cliff, and he doesn't care that Spectre shouldn't have been in his dream in the first place. He only cares that he is no longer alone. He has the arms and the wings of his husband to remind him of that.
"Spectre," Thomas whispers, shuddering into Spectre's neck. Spectre can feel that his neck is wet and he knows Thomas is crying. He feels like his heart might break.
"Thomas, my love-"
"It won't ever end," Thomas whispers, cutting off Spectre's reassuring voice. And there in the dark, despite wings and arms and whispered words, it feels like they've won. The Paiges and the Amarises of the world can still hurt him and it doesn't seem right.
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