It had to be you (Peter, Thomas)

[father-peter.livejournal.com]

Peter was in the middle of a freak out himself, when Thomas entered the room, clearly freaking out. It had been a year ago that Robert had betrayed Peter to the Templar, and Peter was avoiding his large friend like the Plague, despite the fact that Robert was actually in the basement at the moment, visiting with Gavin. He'd given Peter and odd look when Peter had squeaked and run in the opposite direction, but it was nothing compared to the look Peter gave Thomas when Thomas sulked into the living room and curled up on the sofa without so much as an explanation. Peter instantly forgot his own plight and he neared his best friend's side. "Erm...something on your mind, Thomas?" Somehow, he didn't think it was the same thing on Peter's mind.

It had to be Peter. Thomas had tossed up going to his siblings or his mother, but for this...it had to be his best friend. Thomas took a deep breath and he stared down at his hands before he finally felt able to get this terrible situation off of his chest. "I'm going to lose Mary and Spectre and I just want to die. Except I am dead, and even there I don't get peace. I should just go to a cemetery and hole myself up where I belong. Is your mausoleum still empty? That was a dumb question..." Of course it was empty. Because Peter was a big 'not dead'.

Peter blinked, and gracefully ignored the bit about the mausoleum. "Uhm...okay what? Here, sit up." Peter moved over to the sofa, and when Thomas complied, Peter took the seat right next to him, allowing his best friend to lean up against him. "Okay...what happened?!" None of what Thomas had said had made even the littlest amount of sense.

"Mary proposed and I had a heart attack." Thomas said flatly. "Not that a heart attack can kill me, because...dead. But there was some minor...okay...major collateral damage. In the...I almost broke up with Spectre..."

"Oh..." Peter immediately wrapped his arms around Thomas and he frowned. "Thomas...why do you think this is going to make you lose them?" Why the hell would Thomas break up with Spectre?!

"Because!" Thomas said, as if that was the world's most perfect argument. "Mary wants to marry me, and Spectre can't and it's not fair to marry one of them and not the other, but I can't just pretend it never happened, and Spectre doesn't deserve this and...goddammit, Peter. Why couldn't I just have been with you?!"

Peter gave Thomas a fond little look then, understanding a little more now. He kissed Thomas's forehead while ruffling his hair. "That would mave made some things easier, I grant you that." Peter admitted softly. "But not everything. There were too many reasons for us not to be together. And Thomas, there are no reasons for you not to be with Spectre and Mary. This hasn't changed that. You just need to take a little time to calm down and then you'll all work through this. Because they love you and you love them. That's the most important thing."

"But there's never been an issue of inequality before!" Thomas flailed. "They were equal. I love them both. Equally. And it worked. And now everything's off-balance and I don't know if it can be restored and I won't be with either of them if it's not fair and...I'm angry. Peter, I'm angry at Mary for proposing and messing up a good thing. That's not right!"

"Thomas...you are not angry at Mary. You're terrified of marriage." Peter said, his insight quite incredible.

"I'm...bwah?"

"You're terrified of marriage." Peter repeated. "I never would have proposed to you if we were still together."

Thomas looked insulted then, but comically so. "Gee, thanks, Peaches! I wouldn't have...made my side of the bed every morning! So there."

"Gah, wrinkles!" And for a moment, Peter looked distressed about the idea of his sheets being rumpled and out of place. And then he realised he was letting Thomas win there, so he moved on. "Ahem. I didn't mean I wouldn't have wanted that, Pumpkin. I meant I wouldn't have proposed to you because you'd do...well...this."

"Peter, I am not afraid of getting married!"

"Yes you are! Do you remember that sweet little couple, the Fitzgeralds? They'd been together for years. Since high school and they were finally getting married and Father Bailey was going to do the service and you kept talking about how marriage meant the beginning of the end. At first I just thought you were a jaded monk even at 19, but you did it for every marriage that came through. Luckily you said the things to Stuart and me and not to the couples themselves... Either way...you're terrified of marriage."

"I never said it was the beginning of the end for you..." Thomas said lamely, as if that proved something.

"Thomas, that's because you know me. You've known me since I was 18. You know when I decide to do something, I do it. Not worrying about my marriage to Aly is a very different thing than not freaking out when someone proposes to you. Because all of a sudden, all of those fears you had when you were on the outside looking in, are suddenly transferred, and you're fearing for yourself. And you're probably not used to that feeling because let's face it, you're sort of a brick wall with a thick hide." Thomas was huge and...for the most part...stalwart and unmovable. But he still had a heart, and it could break just like anyone else's.

"HAH! Oh. I thought you were going to say thick skull." Thomas said, looking slightly mischievous.

Peter shifted so he was facing Thomas directly, his hand holding tightly to his best friend's. "Thomas...first of all, I do not think you have a thick skull. And if you want me to, I will dig you up from your grave with the naked baby angel headstone and prove it."

"You're gross!" Thomas grinned, looking pleased at what his corruption had led Peter to say.

"Yes. Second of all, if you say no to Mary because you don't want to mess with a good thing, she'll understand. She knows you all have a good thing. She wasn't trying to take it away, I'm sure she was only trying to make it better. And she hasn't known you long enough to know you're...well...a freak."

"Oh god! I'm a commitment-a-phobe!"

"No. You say forever, Thomas. You want to be with them forever. They know that. Both of them. But to you, marriage is different. No one could blame you. Your father did a terrible thing when he left your family. It's not just you, Thomas. Abby doesn't want to marry Stuart. She told him that and then he asked me if I thought it was because he sings in his sleep. Adam got married too quickly and he ended up divorced. And Eleanor...well. You know what Eleanor."

"She slept with every man in the county until she found one who could tame her?" Thomas said, candidly.

"Well I wasn't going to put it like that... Only Joe doesn't seem to have been affected in that way. And that is because he was more careful about who he married than...anyone ever is, really. Thomas...this isn't your fault. It isn't any of your faults. Your father's a bastard. You are not. You're not going to be a disappointment to Mary or Adrian, Thomas. All you could ever be to anyone, is a joy."

Thomas closed his eyes and he breathed a sigh of relief, feeling himself relax for the first time since Mary had asked him that one terrifying question. "Peter..."

"I know." Peter said with a little smile, and then he kissed his friend's forehead again. "You don't have to say. You want to go dance to The Cure so you can relax before you talk to Adrian and Mary? Which you should do soon, by the way... But doing it calm is better."

"Bring on The Lovecats!" Thomas said excitedly. He was going to dance, and slap Peter on the arse until he made that comical offended face, and then he'd talk to Spectre and Mary calmly, and everything would be okay again.

Because, dammit, it had to be.