darker_london | Uncle (Danny, Greg, Rachel, Cai, Zoe, Dylan, Deirdre)

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Uncle (Danny, Greg, Rachel, Cai, Zoe, Dylan, Deirdre)

It was Danny's first time out since he'd been at Priory and before then he wasn't exactly hitting the town every night. The trip to Robert MacGavillary Memorial Hospital felt strange and by the time they arrived, Danny was just glad to be inside again.

Having arrived early, Danny sat in the waiting room, willing his friends to show up soon. He couldn't get his mind off what he was about to do. He hadn't told any of his friends his plan because he knew they would stop him. It involved getting closer to Greg than he ever hoped to be again, and just the thought of it was weighing on him. He hoped it would work out and he could get the information he needed. Without it, this was all going to be for nothing.

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Rachel was still sitting on the floor, and she leaned her head against his knee, her arm wrapped around the bottom of his leg. "I don't know," she said. "I don't think so."

"You'd know," Zoe said firmly. She looked over at Danny, her eyes narrowed. "Why didn't you tell us, Danny?"

"Would you really have let me go in there and hold his hand if you knew what I was going to do?" Danny said, his eyebrows raised. He slid one hand down to rub Rachel's back because it kept him calm. "I thought you would try to talk me out of it and believe me, if anyone tried, it wouldn't exactly been hard. I was trying to talk myself out of it the entire way here."

"It was just-" Dylan started, hoping Zoe didn't resent him for butting in, "it was really scary to see you like that with him, Danny. And we didn't know what was going on or why. It looked a lot like Stockholm."

Danny narrowed his eyes at them, "uhhhh, you all thought I actually meant the things I was saying?" There was no accusation in his voice, just shock.

"We had no reason not to!" Zoe snapped. "You sprung that on us out of nowhere and told us to trust you, and yet you didn't trust us, at all. You could have said something, instead of just forcing me - us to watch, not having a clue what you were doing. It was fucked up, Danny."

She was right. She was absolutely right and Danny looked up at her, crestfallen. "I'm sorry," he said, guilt lacing his voice. "You're right, I'm sorry. I didn't trust you. I thought I was protecting myself. I've been so fucked up about this, but of course you guys are too! Zoe, please don't hate me, I'll do better okay? I'll try to do better!"

He sounded heart-broken and desperate and Dylan felt quite uncomfortable watching him practically beg Zoe to forgive him. "Danny, as long as you're safe-"

"No, I fucked up!" Danny wailed. "I was selfish and I'm sorry!" Danny burst into tears again, but at least they weren't the same gut-wrenching, chest-aching sobs as before.

Zoe stood up and Cai tried grab her to stop her, as he had no idea if she was going to keep yelling and being told off was the last thing Danny needed right now. He snagged her sleeve but Zoe shook him off with a glare, stomped over toward Danny. Rachel was watching her too, looking angrier than Zoe had seen her maybe ever - angry at Zoe.

She sat down hard in the seat next to Danny, her arms crossed. "You're an idiot and you made a stupid mistake," she said. And I have never been so scared in my life, she wanted to say, but Deirdre was there, and she was still so pissed off at Deirdre for putting Danny at risk that there was no way she was going to admit fear in front of her.

I thought you were so fucked up you had gone crazy, she wanted to say.

I thought I'd lost you.

"I don't goddamn hate you, you weepy idiot," she said.

Oh thank god.

Danny leaned his head against her, squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm sorry," he whispered, in between sniffles. "I did. I made a mistake. I'll try to trust you all, it's just so hard."

He felt exhausted and worn out and still half-panicked. "Uhm...do-" Danny shook his head and he took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to ask. "Do you all think I'm disgusting? For begging him?" For some reason, Danny looked over at Cai, as if his opinion here mattered the most.

Cai shook his head, frowning deeply. "No, you... needed to, you had to survive, right? You're not disgusting. You needed to live."

He was disgusted, though, but not at Danny.

Danny wished he could properly express the relief and gratitude he felt at Cai's words, but he was too tired. "Thank you. And you- You're not grossed out by me?" he asked Rachel, since out of everyone here, she was the most likely to sleep with him. "I'm sorry he said all those things about us."

Rachel's chin rested on Danny's knee. "He can't even touch us," she said. "He's going to prison and you're going to be with me. That's what's going to happen now." She smiled at him (though there was a lot behind her smile, it was a very tired smile) and kissed his knee.

That's not how it works, a voice inside her mind said. You didn't just sweep the past under a rug and move onto the future. You entered into a constant battle against your memories to keep them down, till your brain was so tired fighting the past it starting imagining things in the present.

Rachel pressed her face against his knee and closed her eyes. Just for today she thought, pleading with the part of herself that was determined to drag her down. Can't that be how this works just for today? "I love you," she whispered. "He can't touch us."

"I love you too," Danny replied, his relief evident in his voice. "Is- Is everyone okay?" He glanced around at all of them, worried his issues would start to infect them. "I'm sorry he said all those fucked up things. I wish you hadn't had to hear them."

"It's not your fault," Dylan said earnestly. "Really, Danny."

"Can we- Can we go get something to eat? I haven't eaten today which I know is bad, but I was too scared. And despite the fact that I just technicolour yodeled in the bin, I'm actually pretty fucking hungry."

"I think we're all okay," said Cai, looking from one person to the next to make sure no one was going to crack. When he got to Zoe she averted her eyes. "I could eat," he said. Standing up, he offered his hand to Danny with a smile.

"I'll meet you in the cafe," Zoe said, not looking at any of them as she stood up. She wanted to get out of the hospital entirely, to breath under the low grey sky again. She wanted to bolt herself in her room or in Cai's car, either would do. She wanted to be alone, so she could work out her head, but she didn't want to leave Danny alone.

She made for the nearest bathroom and locked herself into a stall, which was the best she could do. The rest of the bathroom was empty and quiet, but she couldn't relax, and breathing was a struggle. Her head was a mess. She wanted to yell at Danny some more, and at Deirdre, and Greg. She wanted to cry till she had no energy left. She wanted to kiss Cai without something horrific happening.

She wanted to go down to the cafe and join her friends and eat something, but she bent over, pressed her face against her knees, and stayed in the bathroom for a bit longer.

Danny watched Zoe's retreating form as he reached for Cai's hand. He had really fucked up there and he was going to try to do everything he could to make it up to her later. For right now though, he needed to just get some food in his system and calm down. Holding his brother's hand for the first time in months was a damn good start.

"Cai," Danny said, as they all trudged towards the cafeteria, "thank you. Thank you for holding my hand and holding on to me in that room. I know it's risky. It means a lot that you did it anyway. Also uhm...you can come see me any time now, okay?"

Cai grinned, though he didn't know what to say to that. He didn't want to say it wasn't a big deal, because it was, and he wanted to show he was pleased with Danny, and pleased with himself. He held out his hand for a fistbump. He hoped that would sum it all up nicely.

Rachel was holding Danny's other hand but kept looking over her shoulder. "Do you think I should go after Zoe?" she asked Danny.

Danny bumped his fist against Cai's, grinning over at his brother. "She might just need some space," he said to Rachel with a shrug. "But I mean...if you think you should. If you want to?"

Danny felt absolutely terrible about Zoe, but the smell from the cafeteria has him thoroughly distracted. "Oh my god, it smells so good. No one is going to judge me if I like...eat eight platefuls of food, right?"

"I think if you manage to fit eight platefuls of food in that scrawny arse frame of yours, we'll all jump for joy, Danny," Dylan said as Deirdre pushed him behind them. "Seriously, your angles are starting to have angles. I feel like I'm going to cut my hands on the air around you."

"You are a big fan of hyperbole today," Danny said dryly, though he wasn't really upset. Dylan had a damn good point. "My stomach is killing me though, so I think we're going to get close. Maybe four plates. And a cake. Oh god, three cakes. I'm going to get three cakes. Or four?"

"Get four, and any you can't manage I'll hoover up with my face," Cai said, thinking that cake sounded awesome right now. He swung his arms as they walked into the hospital cafe. "Cake and freedom, that's what we've got."

Rachel sat down at a table while the boys decided what cakes to get, chewing her thumb. She wanted to go and find Zoe, but was also kind of mad at her for yelling at Danny, but also she hadn't felt as close to Zoe as she had when they were both punching Greg in the face, and she didn't want to let that just evaporate into thin air. Do u just need some space? she sent a text instead.

She looked up at the boys and Deirdre while she waited for a reply. Cai was explaining to everyone how peppermint icing was the bane of his existence. It seemed an odd thing to say after the battle they'd just fought. Odd, like a conversation someone might have in a dream.

Stop it, Rachel thought, pinching her arm. This is real. This is happening. I'm in a hospital full of monsters after facing down an incubus with a woman who can make people sleep because she is a demon, while a psychic complains about peppermint icing.

Yeah, totally real.

Don't know, Zoe replied. Don't know what I need rn.

Actually, Zoe sent another text straight after. What I need is for the world to be totally clear of all other people so I can breathe properly, but that isn't gonna happen, so I better deal.

Rachel chewed her thumb a little more. Yeah you better deal, if you lose ur mind theres no hope for me keeping mine.

Oh, suck it up, Zoe sent back, which made Rachel smile.

Danny had purchased five cakes in the end, as well as a burger, a huge helping of chips, a sandwich and a chicken salad because if he was eating all the rest of it, he should probably at least eat something healthy.

"I'll leave you guys to it, but let me know when I should come get you," Deirdre said to her brother, kissing him on the head before she left them alone.

"Oh my goooooodddddd," Danny moaned as he worked his way through his hamburger and then onto the salad. He hadn't eaten like this since before he had been taken. It felt like a strange weight had been lifted from his shoulders and even though he was still slightly shaky and he felt like shit for upsetting Zoe, it was still a reassuring feeling.

"Have something," he said, pushing the chips towards Rachel. He leaned towards her and pressed a kiss to her temple before laughing. "Oh god, was I all burgery? Sorry. I'm like the least suave person ever."

"I don't know, I think of all the people we spent time with today, you're doing pretty well," Dylan interjected.

"Welp. I suppose you have a point!" Danny shoveled another huge bit of salad into his face and unwrapped his sandwich while he was still chewing. "Fucking food," he mumbled with his mouth full. Dylan's eyes widened and he just went a bit silent watching Danny completely devour the rest of the salad and then the sandwich in under a minute.

"Should I worry he's going to eat us," Dylan asked.

Rachel ate, stealing bits of his salad before he could finish it because she didn't want all her food today to be chips and hash browns, though the hash browns felt like they were a really long time ago. Was that really just as breakfast today?

"If he tries, he's starting with you," Rachel said to Dylan, nodding at his wheelchair and hoping that he was not going to be offended. "Then Cai. I'm the fastest. And prettiest."

Dylan laughed, delighted at Rachel's joke. "Hey! There's practically nothing to me! Cai's much juicier. Juicier? I can't believe i just said that."

Danny snorted and nearly had to spit out his bite of chips as he fought to breathe. "You called my brother juicy," he said shaking his head.

"Well it's true!"

Danny just chuckled and he leaned over to kiss Rachel's hair again. "You are definitely the prettiest. And you're right, you know. From now on it's just us. You want something else to eat? I kind of want some pasta. No one's judging me, right?"

"If you can somehow fit pasta inside you, and then the cakes on top of that, I will give you a hundred quid," Dylan says, morbidly fascinated.

"KISS YOUR MONEY GOODBYE, O'CONNOR!" Danny yelled, probably too loud but he didn't care. "You in on the bet, Cai?"

"See, now he's just trying to rob us!" Dylan complained.

"It was your idea, dude!"

"You're going to make him throw up again," Cai warned Dylan. "Danny, I am not going to bet money on your vomit. I'll get in trouble."

"Specially since you're not the fastest," Rachel pointed out, as her phone buzzed again.

Bitchy question: is Deirdre still there? asked Zoe.

Nope. Dylan is tho.

Dylan is fine. Dylan isn't a total dickwad.

"Zoe bets you'll be the one getting hit if Danny throws up again," Rachel said.

"I'm not going to vomit!" Danny said with a grin, "My stomach has been empty since yesterday at breakfast don'tkillme, it's really fine." He rose to get some pasta, but when he trotted back, he did push half of it at Rachel before shovelling some into his mouth.

"Cake time!" He pulled one of them towards him and started in on it. Then, more soberly, he added, "sort of feels like I'm washing him away? With cake. I mean...every time I eat now, it's taking back something he took from me. I'm getting better at it. I'm showing him I don't need him to feed me. It's a reason to keep doing it, right? Just keep eating."

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Uncle (Danny, Greg, Rachel, Cai, Zoe, Dylan, Deirdre)

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