darker_london | And hearts begin to fly (Rachel, Danny, Val)

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And hearts begin to fly (Rachel, Danny, Val)

Since the day she, Danny and Zoe had skipped school, the fog surrounding her thoughts and her moods had continued to hold. Every day Imogene had got her out of bed and taken her to school and every day she had sat in her classrooms feeling numb and blank and stupid, and frustrated with herself for all of this. Frustrated that she couldn't shake it. Frustrated that she couldn't find anything interesting or funny to say around Danny and Zoe. Terrified that any day now they were going to get bored with her, tired of her.

One night the terror of losing them grew stronger than the fog, and she was up all night, pacing the halls till Indigo-Hope yelled at her to stop being so mentally challenged, so she went to pace her room instead. Back and forth, bare feet flattening her fluffy rugs. Back and forth till everyone else had gone to bed and she could sneak into the games room where the liquor cabinet was and find something to take the frightening edges of her mind.

Rachel sat cross legged on her fluffy rug, drinking straight from the bottle of bourbon and glaring at herself in the mirror.

Rachel quite liked bourbon. It made her feel like a roaring log fire.

A fire burning away the worst bits of herself. All the boring bits, all the hard bits, all the bits that might exhaust a friend like it exhausted her father.

She had to be better than this. If she wanted to keep Danny and Zoe. She had to be a better friend, a better person.

Rachel threw open the doors of her closet. It was a big closet, and the first she'd ever had all to herself. She had more clothes now than she'd ever had before. Nicer ones, too. She found a dress, a light cotton floral number that hit her long legs mid thigh, belted with purple leather. She liked the look of herself in this one, especially paired with her purple boots.

She leaned into the mirror as she put her favourite red lipstick on, stared at her reflection for a long moment. Her roots were starting to show again; maybe she should dye it purple next time.

Well she certainly looked like a better person. Someone ready to party. Someone fun. She smiled at herself in the mirror. Maybe Imogene was right and all it really took was an attitude adjustment.

Me and Dad, we're good at lying, she thought, giving herself a wink in the mirror.

Escaping her silent house was easy. Weeks before, she'd written the alarm code on the back of the photo of Indigo that hung nearest the door. It was written on the underside of the letterbox outside too, because she knew she'd forget it.

Regent's Park was closed for the night, so she had to skirt around it, keeping a close eye on the shadows on the other side of the fences. A lot of horror stories came out of that park. She'd been obsessed with the modern day gothic horror of the Ravensdales when the whole story broke; rich twins from old money, a murderous brother in the attic. She didn't believe in ghosts but if any park in London was going to be haunted, it was this one.

It had rained for most of the day and the air was cold, but dry, and she kept her blood warm and her heart brave with the hipflask of bourbon she had tucked into her bra. Even though it was past midnight there were still cars on the road, their tires making long hissing noises on the wet road as they drove past.

Rachel located the tree outside Danny's house, boosting herself up on one of the thick roots so she could wrap her arms around one of the lowest branches. It was thick and awkward, but she gripped her hands together, braced her feet against the trunk and walked up the tree, till her legs were high enough to hook over another branch. She climbed her way up without fear of falling, without fear of anything much.

She swung herself onto his roof, stumbling at the uneven surface and thumping onto her hands and knees. Silently she waited, crouching like an animal, feeling wild and free and reckless. The wind caught her hair and lifted it up, and when Rachel stood again she almost felt like she could fly. For a moment she really believed she might be able to. Spread her arms like wings, catch the wind and fly.

But she was only human, and climbing was as close as she could get to flight.

She pointed her toes like she was dancing and lightly stepped across Danny's roof till she came to his window, his skylight set directly into the ceiling. Kneeling beside it, she tapped her fingers in a rhythm across the glass, and when she saw his face appear she smiled, and left a lipstick kiss on the damp window.

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Seeing her wearing his shirt like that made him grin. "Well it is now," he said happily. He shoved the rest of the clothes back into his wardrobe messily and closed the drawer halfway.

Heading back to his bed, he crawled in and then pulled the covers back for her to climb in. "Uhm...just so you know, sometimes I have nightmares and wake up screaming. But I-I might not. Just...as a warning."

"I remember you said," Rachel smiled at him sadly, her hands up the back of her new shirt as she unhooked her bra. "Um, what should I do, if you do?" She tucked her bra under her dress, near the foot on his bed, before climbing in next to him. She hadn't shared a bed with a boy she was friends with, before. It was a little terrifying.

"Get out of the way mostly," he said, since there wasn't much that could be done until he woke up. And waking him up was risky for the person doing so. "I'll wake up and sort myself out eventually. Do you snore or kick people in your sleep or anything?" he asked with a little grin.

"I don't know," Rachel looked worried. "I don't remember my dreams, but I don't think I'll kick you. You can kick me back, if you like." She smiled at him, wriggling down under the covers next to him. She kind of wanted to crawl into his arm again, but it was different, hugging someone in bed. There were a lot more implications. And while she did kind of want Danny's hands exploring up under the shirt he'd given her... She was also getting nervous about it. Maybe she should have drank more, but her flask was on the floor, now, next to her bra.

"I'm not going to kick you," he chuckled. "Well not on purpose." He settled down into his pillow, facing her. "Never had anyone in my bed before." He used to sleep in his sister's bed all the time, but this was different. "Are you warm enough?"

"Yeah," she replied, and decided that while she wasn't quite brave enough to wriggle forward against him, she still wanted to hold his hand, and then see if anything happened from there. She reached out, found his hand, and laced their fingers together. "Very warm enough."

It felt comfortable and nice lying there, his fingers intertwined with hers. He might even be able to sleep if she was beside him. He didn't feel so alone and breakable. There was still a very pretty girl in his bed and that was very new, but it was Rachel.

"You're so pretty." Even with her face in a pillow she was gorgeous. Then he turned red and hid his face in his own pillow.

Rachel laughed quietly at his embarrassment - he was freakishly cute when he blushed and hid. "You're so fit," she whispered back to him.

It made Danny chuckle and then he lifted his face from the pillow so he was no longer hiding. "I like that you think so."

Val didn't really have morning rituals, but what she did do each morning was run two and a half miles. She always felt if she skipped her run then the rest of the day felt off. She needed that morning energy boost.

When she returned home she would usually go make sure that Danny was awake if he wasn't to be found downstairs in the kitchen or living room. This morning was one of his absent-and-thus-sleeping-in mornings it seemed, and so Val made her way to his room and knocked on the door, calling out "rise and shine, kiddo," as she opened it.

Danny hadn't even realised he had fallen asleep and when he heard his mother's voice, he almost forgot Rachel was even there.

His eyes blinked open slowly, however, and there she was, her blonde hair framing her sleeping face.

Oh shit.

"Mum," Danny said, jumping out of the bed and trying not to take the covers with him. That, however, had the unfortunate consequence of meaning he was standing there in his underwear.

Rachel woke up threatened. Bad days started with someone else waking her up. Bad days started when she didn't wake up in her own bed. Sometimes at night she would be too anxious to sleep, too anxious that she wouldn't wake up in the same place, even though the days of being uprooted while she slept were over. There was no chance now she'd wake up in the back of her mother's car, boot packed full, brother obscured from view in the front seat. Those days were definitely over.

So when she woke up to the sound of a woman's voice, an unexpected yet familiar voice, and Rachel found herself in an unexpected bed, she felt the threat close in on her. Like ice water closing over her head, like slamming her hands against something hard and cold. It wasn't a panic attack, but the eggs of one were crowding inside her.

She sat up as Danny sprung out of the bed, and froze as she saw Val. The events of the night before were extremely far away from her.

Val was taking a minute to process exactly what she was seeing here. There was a girl in her son's bed.

For a moment she couldn't help but flashback to the horrible last time she'd walked in to find someone in Danny's bed. She couldn't help the rising bile in her throat that image brought and the rush of protective anger. The need to protect and to destroy were thrumming against the walls of her chest, making her already overworked muscles pull themselves tight.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Val demanded of her son, forgetting right then all appropriate uses of language, even though she could count on one hand the number of times she'd said fuck in front of him. (Swearing isn't necessary to get your point across, Danny. That sort of language isn't impressing anyone. Find another word, something that's actually descriptive instead of just blurting something out.)

When his mother swore in front of him, Danny winced. He couldn't help it. Val was standing in his room and he could practically feel the anger seething off of her. A quick glance to Rachel let him know she felt as lost as he did.

Quickly, Danny raised his hands up. He was standing there in his underwear and Rachel was wearing pretty much nothing but one of his shirts and maybe explanations wouldn't really work from the weight of evidence in front of him, but he had to try.

"Mum, no-!" was the first thing he could even think to say. Then, almost unconsciously, he took a few steps forward to place himself between Val and Rachel. "We-- we were just talking! Rachel needed a friend, Mum. That's all, okay!?" God he hoped it was okay. "Nothing happened. Mum. Nothing happened."

What Val really needed was a minute to process all this. Her heartrate was still high from her run and she suspected that wasn't helping her out here. Eventually, after staring between them with her mouth a little open, Val said (in a very calm voice) "Daniel. I'm going downstairs to the kitchen. And in five minutes times you and Rachel will both be there with me as well."

Because, yes, she'd worked past the hysteria at least enough to recognise that the girl was one of her own students. She took a deep breath and exited the room, pulling the door shut behind her - but not slamming it.

In the kitchen she put on the coffee and tried to decide what she was going to say when faced with two teenagers momentarily.

Rachel pulled the blankets up over her head and fell backwards into Danny's bed. "Danny!" she said, voice a little muffled by his quilt. "What do we do!?"

Well shit.

Danny turned around and the first thing he did was fetch some jeans so he could pull them on. "Rachel, it's okay," he said, buttoning himself up. Crawling back onto the bed, he gently pulled the sheet down and away from Rachel's face. "It's really okay, she's not going to hurt you. Really, I think she was just surprised. Bad memories, you know? It'll be okay."

"She's my teacher," Rachel hissed, peeking over the sheets. "And she was really mad. And I'm wearing your shirt. I can go back out the window," she said, the idea lighting up her face. This sounded like the best idea she'd ever had, escape now and deal later.

"Rachel, it's okay!" Danny assured her again. He retrieved her clothes from the floor and handed them back to her, the gesture bringing him closer to him. He wanted to hug her now. Instead he leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead. "She won't yell at you. It's not your fault, okay?"

The kiss on her forehead felt warm and real, and gave her hope that he'd really look after her in the face off against his mother. She slid out from the blankets and pulled her dress back on, twisting around underneath it to get her bra back on. "Is she going to yell at you?" she asked, turning back to look at him.

"I don't think so," Danny said with a shrug. He wasn't afraid of his mother at all, but he understood why Rachel was worried about it. "She's never really yelled at me before, but even if she does, it'll be okay, alright? I might get in trouble, but she's- She won't hurt me. Okay?" He felt like that was important for Rachel to know.

Danny sounded so genuine, and so unafraid. He shrugged in the face of a telling off and that made her think maybe Ms Marlow wouldn't be so bad. She didn't think she could forgive herself if she got him in trouble. "Okay," she said, trying to find some confidence. "Okay what should I say to her to make it better?"

"I think all she needs to know is that you didn't hurt me, and you didn't," he assured her. Reaching out for her hand, he gestured towards the door to see if she was okay with heading downstairs. "Sounds like she's not thrilled but I think the most important thing for her to know is that I'm okay." At least he understood that. Though he was fairly sure he was about to get grounded for the first time in his life.

Rachel let him take her hand; he knew how to navigate this situation, she hoped. She was his mum after all. He'd know how to get around her, how to keep her from getting angry. "Okay," she said again, tugging at her dress with her free hand, to make sure the hemline was low enough around her thighs.

"You look fine," he said as they headed out of his room. Then, thinking better of it, he amended it, "you look beautiful."

Then trooped down the stairs, Danny immediately looking hangdog when he spied his mother in their impressive kitchen. "Heh," he said, the corner of his mouth lifting into what attempted to be a smile, but filed. "Uhm...I'm really sorry, Mum. Rachel needed someone to talk to."

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And hearts begin to fly (Rachel, Danny, Val)

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