darker_london | Opening up (Danny, open to Rachel, Cai and Zoe)

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Opening up (Danny, open to Rachel, Cai and Zoe)

Since waking up, Danny hadn't allowed anyone other than his mother and Zoe in to see him. He did feel guilty keeping his girlfriend and his brother out, but there was a part of him which just didn't want to see the pity and pain on their faces when they finally laid eyes on him.

Zoe had been there to see what Greg had done to him firsthand, though there was more to it too. Danny saw Zoe as fiercely strong, whether she saw herself that way or not. He worried that he might have to pretend to be okay for Cai and Rachel, while he knew he didn't have to act for Zoe and he didn't have the energy to try anyway.

He had to face them sometime, however, especially since he was fairly sure Cai and Rachel had been waiting outside his room from time to time, as if keeping some kind of silent vigil for him. Danny was still struggling with whether he wanted to stay alive or not, as well. Could he really leave them without giving them a chance to see him? He didn't think he could.

Hesitantly, Danny told the nurse his friends were allowed in. He told his mother he wanted to see them on his own, however, though he had a feeling she was going to hover right outside his door. He was really okay with that. Then he steeled himself for their reactions to the state he was still in. He knew he looked terrible. He felt terrible. His hopes were that they felt better than he did.

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At first Cai had been silently freaking out over the fact that Danny didn't want to see him, but yesterday afternoon down in the cafe with Zoe he started to put his feelings into words. "Why does he only let you and his mum in? Is it because I'm a guy? Because I'm related to him and a guy? Is he going to freak out if he sees me?"

Zoe wanted to reach out and put her hand over Cai's mouth, but she'd been avoiding touching him (and anyone else, but particularly him) since they got back into London. "Stop it," she said, instead, and Cai stopped, because Zoe was acting like she knew how this whole thing (this rescue thing, this supernatural thing, this recovery thing) worked and since he had no clue, he shut up. "It's not that complicated. He's exhausted. He's so exhausted he's sick and if you take it personally I will hit you."

Cai wanted to explain that he wasn't taking it personally. He wasn't! But if he listened to what he said, he had to admit it kind of sounded like he was. So Cai shut up, and worried silently. He just wanted to see Danny. He felt like he could make things better if he could just see him.

"Let him lead," Nonnie had told him. He'd been freaking out at home, too. "Don't try to force him to heal in any particular way. Don't even try and push him back into the shape he used to be. Pain changes people. Let him figure out who he is going to be after this and you just stand by his side and help him."

"I'm not going to force him," Cai said, insulted. Nonnie cupped his face in her hands. She was wearing dish gloves, wet ones. Cai made a face.

"Not on purpose, no. But you will, unconsciously. Just try to be aware of how your words and actions might effect him." She planted a kiss on his forehead. "You'll be alright."

Cai loved that woman. He wished she would come to the hospital and see Danny, but Nonnie refused. Hospital was family time. When he was feeling up for it, she'd have him over for dinner, but she would not impose on him before. She did send him over to Val's place with about eight cooked and frozen meals, though. "Poor girl," Nonnie said. "I bet she's not looking after herself."

"We'll look after her," Cai said, and Nonnie nodded and smiled.

Danny was right when he suspected that Cai and Rachel had been spending a lot of time waiting outside his room. They were there, waiting, when the nurse told them Danny would like to see them. Cai had been teaching Rachel how to play cards, but neither of them could concentrate and it had descended into Go Fish.

Cai was very impressed with Rachel. Since Danny had come back, she'd surprised him. He'd seen her new bathroom, the cramped boxy room with the tiny, warped mirror and he had no idea how she managed to make it to the hospital every morning looking so polished. There were cracks in her armour, sure; every day there were moments when her expression faltered and she looked like she wanted to fade right away, but she never cried, not at the hospital anyway. She looked unsure and frightened and lost but when it looked like it was about to overtake her she'd fall back and let her make up, let her hair, let her clothes bear the weight of being a capable human being.

Cai didn't know how much his words you have some sorta power had meant to her, how much she thought about them when she was getting dressed each morning.

How much she thought about what if Danny's more lost than you.

If Rachel needed to be a shining beacon in order to light Danny's way home then god-fucking-damn it that's what she was going to try and be. But she might have never found the strength to do so if Cai hadn't believed in it first.

When the nurse finally let them into Danny's room, Rachel hesitated, but drew herself together, and led the way in. When she first lay eyes on him, her expression faltered again, nearly cracked wide open but she caught herself. "Danny," she said, gravitating towards his bedside in a soft cloud of perfume. "Oh Danny."

The moment he laid eyes on Rachel's face, and her expression crumpled for just a fraction of a second, Danny kind of wished he hadn't let them come see him yet. He wasn't ready. Now he had to face their pain and he had enough of his own, didn't he?

He took as deep a breath he could manage with his broken rib, and frowned. God, what could he even say? Just saying hello seemed so utterly pathetic. His bandaged hands fiddled with the blanket mindlessly while he tried to conjure up the appropriate words. He felt like crying, but he was pretty sure he felt like that all the time these days. It wouldn't help.

It was Rachel though. Rachel and Cai. His girlfriend and his brother. He loved the both of them, and seeing them after so long was something of a relief, even through all the pain. He wanted to curl into a ball between them where he could be safe, but the thought of it made his skin crawl. Why did he have to be so torn?

"I don't-" he started, stammering his way through a greeting. His voice was still weak and scratchy, and he knew he didn't sound anything like himself. "I don't think you should touch me." He shook his head hard after he finished, and tried again. That was all wrong. "I mean Cai shouldn't. Because of what you might see. Not- not because of- Goddammit. Hi." He heaved a sigh and gave them both an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, guys. I- I don't know what to say. Uhm. You look nice, Rachel?"

And she really did, though he was half terrified she might try to kiss him. He hated that he now feared intimacy with her. Hated it so much it made his chest hurt. He loved her and he honestly didn't know if he could ever stand to have her touch him again.

Maybe he should just put himself out of his misery. Maybe it would be best for everyone.

Cai stood a little behind Rachel, with both hands behind his back. He hadn't taken any risks; he was wearing his gloves even though he'd been getting pretty good at not getting sucked into other people's minds. He had gloves and long sleeves and was as covered up as Rachel wasn't. "S'alright mate," he said. "Not going to try and touch you. I'll leave that to - uh," he stopped, because he didn't know if Danny wanted anyone to touch him. Probably not, right? "It's so fucking great to see you," he said instead.

Even though fucking great sounded way too cheerful, like old friends meeting on a holiday oversees.

Rachel sat down in the chair next to Danny, folding her arms on the bed and smiling. It wasn't a happy smile, nor one of her over enthusiastic wide-mouthed grins but just a smile, a bit sad, a bit scared. Grateful for the compliment, even if it had been a very uncertain one. "I remember waking up in hospital," she said to Danny, as if they were the only two in the room. "I remember what it was like."

Danny stared at his friends, still at a loss of what to say. Eventually he glanced at Rachel and shook his head. "No," he said softly. "No you don't. Not like this." He didn't know what it was like to wake up in hospital after attempted murder though, to be fair. "I don't feel..." what didn't he feel? Anything. Or he felt everything.

"Sorry, I... I hate this. I'm so..." He closed his eyes and willed himself not to cry. "I'm not so good."

"You don't feel like yourself?" Rachel asked, leaning back and wrapped her arms around herself. She was trying to be empathetic. Show him he wasn't alone. Did it matter that they hadn't been through the same things? They had plenty enough in common before. It wasn't till Rachel tucked her hands under her arms that she noticed they were trembling. She knew what it was like not to feel like yourself, at least. She hadn't been herself for a long time - the closest she'd got was when she was with Danny. He understood things. She wanted to show him she understood things too.

"You don't have to be good right now," Cai said gently, inching forward, till Rachel could feel him at her shoulder. "That's what being alive's for, you've got heaps of time to feel good in the future. You can just, y'know, recover, for now. You'll be alright." Cai had faith this was true.

Danny swallowed when Cai inched forward and he tried to shift himself further away from them. A twinge in his ribs told him that wasn't a smart idea, however, and he hissed from the pain of it. "Owfuck."

He leaned back, breathing hard to get control of himself through the pain and through...whatever else this was. Cai was talking about being alive and Danny couldn't stress enough how much he didn't want to be anything resembling alive.

"No, I don't feel like myself. I don't- I don't even know who that was before. I will not be alright, Cai, dammit." Danny breathed out heavily and the frowned at both of them. "Augh, sorry, I'm being an asshole. I can't sleep and I can't eat," he said, gesturing to his still full tray from lunch which had long gone cold in the corner.

"Honestly. I'm sorry. I- It is really good to see both of you." That, at least, was true. Sure, he had kept both of them at arm's length because he feared seeing their reactions, but he had spent long hours alone in Greg's clutches just hoping he would see either of them again. "Being back with you was what kept me going."

"Dude, it's okay," Cai said, hooking a plastic chair from behind him with his foot and pulling it up underneath him. He hadn't missed Cai trying to edge away from him, and though that freaked him out, he remembered what Nonnie had said about trying to force him to be any which way. He was a few inches behind Rachel, still. "You can yell at me, don't need to apologise. Y'can do whatever you need to, I'm just glad you did - keep going, I mean."

Rachel pressed her face against her arms, which were folded on the bed. Part of her just wanted him to lay his hand on her head, run his fingers through her hair. Another part of her wondered if he'd ever touch her willingly again.

"I shouldn't yell at you, you didn't do this to me," Danny sighed. He glanced at Rachel who looked so sad, and he had no idea what to even begin to do about it. "I didn't want to in the end. Keep going I mean. They got there in time though."

Danny sighed and rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling. "I cried for three hours today because someone had to help give me a bath. I didn't want them touching me, but they said they had to do it. I didn't like that, but I can't shy away from people forever. Rachel? W-will you hold my hand?"

Rachel lifted her face from her arms and stared at him for a moment, wondering if he was being serious - but only for a moment. Of course he was serious, and brave and beautiful and she grabbed his hand in both of hers and pressed it firmly to her lips. "Any time you need me to," she whispered against it.

Danny breathed slowly, trying not to panic as Rachel held on to him. Eventually his breathing slowed, and he was able to relax back against the pillows. "I love you, you know," he said, just to her. He needed her to know that, especially if he didn't make it through this. "I just- I just wanted to get back to you. I tried to fight, but it was too hard after a while. Greg stopped feeding me much. Made me weaker."

"But not too weak," Rachel's voice was quiet, and behind her Cai was trying to make himself invisible because this was clearly a moment he wasn't supposed to be here for. "You held on long enough and then they found you, which is more than I managed..." One night, just one night in prison had been enough to make her want to escape through her wrists.

"Oh, Rach," Danny whispered. "They only were able to get there in time because I couldn't get the damn bed spring loose to cut myself with. There wasn't anything else I could use. I was either chained to the bed or shoved into a trunk." Danny glanced at his brother who looked incredibly uncomfortable. "Did you see it? Did you see any of it?"

It was in that moment, when Danny looked up at him and Rachel turned, her hands still wrapped around Danny's, and they both sat there waiting for his answer that Cai really and deeply understood the term incriminating silence. He couldn't say anything, and in that he knew he was saying everything. "I'm sorry dude," he said, at last, but he didn't turn his gaze away. He kept eye contact. Danny deserved that.

And into this awkward moment Zoe walked in, a cardboard tray of coffees in one hand.

Danny watched Cai until the other boy said he was sorry. His eyes fell closed in an attempt to stave off any tears that might try to work themselves down his cheeks.

He heard someone walk in and his eyes snapped open. "Zoe," he said, his voice sounding an awful lot like a drowning man taking his first breath of air after breaching the surface. He sniffed a little, having narrowly avoided crying.

"The cops interviewed me again this morning," he said, since Zoe had had to hear his particular views on the cops making him re-live his experiences over and over again. "And I think tomorrow I have to talk to a lawyer, and I know I have to tell it all to my therapist. They keep taking notes and it seems so vulgar, you know?" Zoe was in the room now, and her presence absolutely changed his demeanor. She was there and he felt safe to just talk.

"Shit. Goddamn cops," Zoe said, her face twisting into a disgusted grimace at what the officials were putting Danny through. Danny knew her feelings about official policy well; she loathed them. She loathed that police could use the evidence found at the scene to convict Gregor but still insisted on re-traumatising Danny. She loathed Deirdre and Peter for getting the police involved. If it had been up to Zoe he would have been swept under a rug in the hospital and left in solitary till he withered away and died.

Zoe handed the cardboard tray to Cai, careful not to touch him (or even look at him) and took two of the cups for herself and Danny before sitting on Danny's other side. "You don't have to drink this," she said. "But it's there if you want it."

Cai took the two cups and handed one to Rachel, who didn't bother with the care Zoe had taken in order not to touch him. He had his gloves on but Rachel still closed her fingers briefly around his in the coffee exchange.

Cai watched Zoe's face as she spoke about police, and couldn't stop himself thinking: why won't she look at me? What did I do? Should I not have kissed her? But she started it. He wouldn't have dared. Or maybe he would have if she hadn't. Just to... just to feel something other then the soul crushing dread that they would never find Danny, never save Dom. He didn't know now. That frame of mind had passed. Now they were into a different kind of struggle, but an easier one. Surely things would get better from here. Danny was safe, and recovering, and however he felt now, Cai was still convinced Danny would be okay.

"You can handle lawyers, mate," he said, dragging his eyes away from Zoe and back to where his attention should be. "You want company when you talk to them? I could be here if you want."

"Me too," Rachel added, firmly.

Danny glanced at the coffee and thought about it, but his stomach turned and he shook his head. "Thank you, I- I don't think I'd be able to keep it down. Managed some oatmeal the day before yesterday."

When his brother offered to stay with him, and Rachel chimed in afterwards though, Danny's expression softened. "Guys...really? I-I mean it's- They're going to make me tell them everything. Are you sure you really want to hear all that? I know you maybe saw some stuff, Cai, but- I can't imagine you saw everything."

"It's okay," Cai said, wanting more than anything to lean forward, lean on the bed, just be closer, physically, to Danny. "It doesn't matter-"

"It does," Zoe snapped. Cai looked at her, hurt. He wasn't implying that anything Danny said didn't matter; what he was trying to say was that he could handle it. He thought he could. Therefor he would. He would handle anything Danny needed him to. "Cai, I know we saw things, but visions are not the same as reality and just because you handled one doesn't mean you can handle the other. Danny - if you want him there then he should be there, but he shouldn't pretend like it's going to be easy."

Danny looked back and forth between Cai and Zoe, wondering if they were okay. "Uhhhhm, okay," he said, feeling a little lost. "I know what you meant, Cai. But like- I don't know how much you saw, and what things you know happened. Uhm. Like he did this thing where he would put his hands around my neck? And he'd just hold on and his grip would slowly get tighter and tighter until I- Well...heh. Yeah. And it's sort of hard to...you know...while you're focused on not being able to breathe. It was fucking terrifying."

Rachel's eyes widened but she dipped her head down, forehead pressed against his hand which she still held in her hands. She wanted to hide the look of horror on her face, not just for Danny but because of Zoe and Cai too. They had seen stuff? She supposed she must have realised that... She knew Zoe had a vision that led to his rescue.

She didn't know much more than that. Zoe hadn't been big on the details.

How much did they know about her boyfriend that she didn't? She clutched his hand, protective of it. She was the only one he'd let touch him, that meant something, didn't it? Even though she wasn't psychic and hadn't been able to help rescue him at all?

Cai wanted to get up off his chair and start pacing, but he kept himself glued to it. He didn't want Danny to flinch at any of his movements ever again. He paled though, visibly.

Zoe wasn't trying to be mean, just honest. She could hear the edge in her voice, but she didn't know how to change it without losing any of her emphasis. They couldn't treat any of this like it was easy. It was not fair on Danny to act like things would be okay.

"You shouldn't have to worry about protecting me," Cai said, quietly, eventually. "That should be my job. I'm taller."

When Rachel dipped her head down, unconsciously, Danny reached up to run his fingers through her hair. Whether it was to soothe her or himself wasn't readily apparent.

Cai had gone pale and Danny hadn't expected any less. Still, his quip made the corner of Danny's mouth lift up for a fraction of a second. "Guess if I could limit the number of people fucked up by my uncle, seemed like a worthwhile thing to do. Still. I was alone for too long. I'd like the company. I tried to get away, you know? I threw something at him to distract him and ran out of the room, but he just broke the door before I could get out. I cut my hands on the window I broke. Then Greg locked me in a chest when he wasn't around for a while because he didn't trust me to try again. Sort of made the idea of trying seem horrible."

Zoe looked down at the top of her coffee, the foam gone now apart from a little clinging to the sides. She was trying not to think of what would have happened to Danny if she hadn't seen the address of the house, or how much better he might be if she'd found him sooner. If she'd been able to stop him being taken in the first place.

"I think you survived real evil," Cai said, just as quietly as before but less lightly. Rachel didn't move, in case moving made Danny stop touching her hair.

Danny wasn't entirely sure he'd survived it yet, but he wasn't going to point that out right now. "Definitely evil. Apparently he's an incubus, which is something they I can't tell the lawyers." He had been about to say more, but there was commotion outside. Danny sat up a little straighter, though his fingers were still in Rachel's hair.

Distinct sounds of arguing came from the hallway and Danny looked terrified. He heard the voice of his mother yell something, however, and in that moment, he forgot all about himself. His mother was in distress somehow. Immediately Danny pulled his hand away from Rachel and he started trying to lift himself out of the bed to go help his mother. "It's Mum!" he hissed, when his rib twinged painfully. "I have to help Mum!"

Cai was on his feet as soon as Danny started trying to struggle out of bed. "I'll go," he said as he was already striding toward the door.

Zoe was on her feet as well, leaving both coffees on the drawers beside Danny's bed and standing with her fists balled.

"You shouldn't!" Rachel worried, splaying her hands in front of Danny like she could create a force-field to keep him in bed. "You'll hurt yourself!"

Danny wanted to go anyway, not especially caring if he hurt himself, but Cai seemed to be on top of it, and Zoe looked livid. He groaned and settled back against the pillows as he finally made out what was being said and then recognised the voice. It was his father, berating his mother for not telling him where Danny was.

There was the sound of a loud slap, and then Ross burst into the hospital room, his hand cradling his cheek, and he nearly ran straight into Cai. "Fuck. Caius," he said, looking down at his younger son, his expression cold. "Get out of my way."

The shock of seeing his father almost rocked Cai enough to force him to step backwards but he held his ground, he was proud of himself for holding his ground, but he found he was holding his tongue as well. He had a hundred things he wanted to say to his father's face but all of them crashed into each other in their attempt to be first out, and left him saying nothing. He didn't move, though.

"Get the fuck out of here," Zoe spoke for them both, positioning herself beside Cai, at the foot of Danny's bed. "You're not welcome." Her hands were still fists, and her posture wide enough that she was ready to dart either way if he tried to get round her.

"Danny is my son," Ross said coldly to Zoe, and very clearly avoiding the subject of Cai entirely. "Get out of my way. Both of you."

The idea of his father hitting Zoe in the face like Greg had...for him...turned Danny's stomach and he sat up again, despite the fact that it was a very stupid idea. "Guys! Stop!" he yelled, though there wasn't much strength in him and it came out weak.

"Daniel- Oh god-" Ross pushed past both Zoe and Cai until he was beside Danny's bed. Then he made the rather bad choice of reaching out to take Danny's shoulder into his hand.

Panic immediately flared in Danny's belly, twisting and coiling in fear. A second later it was hard to breathe and he tried to pull away from Ross. "Don't!"

Unfortunately, Ross' instincts had never been great and when he saw his flailing son, he thought the best course of action was to try to contain the problem. He grabbed Danny's shoulders and tried to push him back down to the bed. "Daniel, calm down!"

Instead of taking his father's advice, Danny started to thrash against his father's hold. "No no nonono. STOP!" he wailed, before bursting into tears.

Cai started to bolt toward Ross but Zoe stopped him, pressed the palms of her hands against his chest. She didn't push, but there was pressure there. There was pressure in the look in her eyes, too, her relentless dark eyes held his for a moment, and told him no clearly and strongly enough that he froze. Even after she moved away he could still feel her hands on his chest.

Zoe turned and took two deliberately placed steps toward Ross, who was bending over the bed with his back to her. Cai couldn't do this, Zoe knew, or even if he could, it was the worst idea in the world for Cai to show violence in front of Danny right now. But Zoe had no qualms about that. She planted one sharp, solid kick directly behind Ross's knee, forcing his leg to buckle. She grabbed the back of his shirt and hauled him backwards away from Danny.

Ross yelped as his legs buckled and he was dragged away from his son. He fell backwards down to his arse, and from there, glared at Zoe who had attacked him.

He rose slowly, though he didn't approach Danny who was sobbing desperately in the bed. Ross looked for all the world like he wanted to rip Zoe's head off. Instead he pointed at the door. "Get out, all of you. I am going to have you all barred from this room! Caius, get control of your friends!"

"Danny we're here, Danny listen, Danny you're safe, it's me, it's me, it's me," Rachel was speaking as Danny panicked, as Zoe threw Ross away, as Cai stood shaking guard. Her voice a low, constant stream she hoped he would hear, hoped he could hear.

"No dad," Cai said, his hands outstretched to keep Ross away. Immediately he wished he hadn't said dad but it was too late to take it back. Danny was howling and Cai nodded his head toward his older brother. "You should leave. You caused that, that's on you. We're protecting him." He also wished he could summon the anger he'd felt for his father the night he left the voicemail, but it wasn't there any more.

"I am his father!" Ross yelled at Cai, and it was that more than anything else, which broke Danny out of his panic. Ross was Cai's father too, at least biologically. Danny couldn't stand to see this man who meant next to nothing to him treating Cai with so little respect.

"No you're not!" Danny managed to say amidst sniffling and trying to catch his breath. "Especially not if you're going to speak that way to my brother."

Ross couldn't quite believe what was happening. "Caius had quite a few words to say to me while you were missing," Ross said, and Danny glanced at Cai, his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah I did," Cai said, folding his arms and raising his chin. He saw Zoe glance curiously sideways at him out of the corner of his eye but he kept his own eyes on Ross. "And I'm glad I did. I meant it. Every word." If he ignored the little shake in his voice, maybe no one else would notice it either.

"I'm disappointed in you, Caiu-"

"I'm disappointed in you!" Danny yelled out, interrupting Ross before he could finish. "You show up here like you give a fuck, but you ignored me my entire life! You stopped seeing me because it was too hard for you to deal with a kid with problems. Which also meant I didn't see my brother again for years! I don't know if you're here out of guilt or to make yourself look good, but I don't want you here! Fuck off, Ross! Fuck off!"

Ross opened his mouth to protest, but that was when Val arrived with hospital security. "I want him out!" Danny told the security guards. "I want him barred from my room!" And the man was summarily escorted from the room, swearing the entire way.

"Jesus," Danny breathed, sinking back into his pillows. He didn't have energy to spare, and panicking and anger had drained him far more than he could handle. He started to shake there in his bed, his stomach a jumble of nerves.

"Wow," said Rachel, eyes wide as she sat back, fingers nervously in her mouth. "Wow you kicked his arse, Danny."

"Very well said, both of you," Cai said, trying to smile. Ross was disappointed in him? Why? Cai was struck by the unfairness of it. Ross was in no position to be disappointed - apart from being the parent - and it wasn't fair to use that as a weapon to make Cai feel bad.

It had worked, too, even if Cai could see that hurting him to get him to comply had been Ross's intention. This man was still a part of him, and even if Cai had decided he was done with this relationship, it wasn't as easy as just wanting it. I'm disappointed in you. There were few other sentences that could get to Cai so quickly. He tried so hard to be good.

Danny looked up at Rachel, reaching for her hand again. The shaking was growing worse and he felt like he was going to vomit but there was nothing in his stomach. "He doesn't get to talk to Cai like that," Danny said weakly. "Guys, I- I don't feel so good."

Rachel reached for his hand with one of hers, stroking his arm with the back of her other hand. Danny looked bad and she had a sudden fear that he was going to die - sudden and deep and ice cold. "Danny?"

Zoe turned to tell Cai to go and get a nurse but one had arrived just after security so all she had to do was step back. Cai stepped back with her, flashed her a smile and said "Nice kick." Zoe's smile was thin, just an acknowledgement that she'd heard him and little else. He tried not to take it personally, but like everything else today, it wasn't easy.

Danny's skin was rapidly paling and as Zoe stepped back, he leaned over the side of the bed and vomited bile all over the floor. Groaning, Danny didn't even bother trying to lie back against the pillows, he just sank down against the mattress while the nurse checked his vitals and another nurse rushed to clean up his mess.

"'sokay," he murmured to Rachel, never letting go of her hand. "'sokay, just need sleep, hmm? Stay with me? Please stay with me."

Wide-eyed, Rachel held his hand even though she wanted to step away. The smell of bile was sharp, and her body told her to leave in case it made her throw up too, but Danny's hand was still in hers and she couldn't go, she wouldn't go. "I'm - I'm here," she said, as the smell became one of antiseptic really quickly.

"Why don't you sing something?" Cai suggested, gently. "Rachel's great at making people feel better with her songs," he said to Danny. "This time I was having a bit of a freak out in the car she sang to me and, hey, we were all right. Magic voice," he said, smiling at Rachel. Rachel smiled back, grateful.

"I guess I could sing," she said, turning back to Danny. "I don't even know - what's your favourite song?"

"Don't make fun of me," Danny muttered weakly, "but I love Amazing Grace. Melissa used to sing it." He could feel his brain shutting off, but maybe if Rachel sang, he could fall asleep peacefully instead of panicky.

She smiled gently, as if she would ever make fun of him for anything ever again, and, not entirely confidently, started to sing. She knew the first verse, but one verse wasn't enough. But Cai knew; Cai knew all the words, and wasn't bad at singing besides, and picked up the song effortlessly when Rachel couldn't go any further.

Zoe knew it too; she'd learned it growing up, but she didn't join in. It would take a lot to get her to join in, she thought, but she did find herself anticipating each verse before Cai sang it, and listening, but not watching, to hear how he handled it. He had a good voice. Not perfect, but unafraid. Fear had tinted his voice for such a long time, it was... something else, to hear him singing. Made her nervous, and she wasn't sure why.

The people he loved and trusted were gathered in his room and they were singing for him. He closed his eyes and let himself feel soothed by it. Maybe he could get through this if they were willing to stick by him through shitty things like Ross being a dick and him vomiting on the floor in front of everyone.

He felt himself drifting off and he didn't even have the energy to thank them. Instead he expressed his gratefulness by smiling ever so slightly and then punctuating the last verse with a loud snore.

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Opening up (Danny, open to Rachel, Cai and Zoe)

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