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darker_london2014-07-27 10:03 pm
lightningseed.insanejournal.com) wrote in darker_london2014-07-27 10:03 pm
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In the midnight hour (Zoe, Cai) [warning for visions of suicide, abuse]
The text came through to Zoe at 11:38pm: Are you asleep?
Hah, no. she replied. I am definitely not asleep tonight.
A moment later Zoe’s phone started to gently ring. "I can’t sleep either,” Cai said, though that fact was fairly obvious.
“I want to,” Zoe said. “I thought I might dream about it.”
“Are you crazy? Why would you want – ooh right, sorry. Forgot you could do that in dreams too.”
Zoe sighed. “I just want it to be over – I want him safe. I want him to have never been taken. I want… I want to sleep but I’ve tried and tried and it’s not happening. Half considering borrowing some of Rachel’s sleeping pills.”
“How is Rach?”
Zoe grunted. “The other day she and her dad were getting drunk together.”
“Oh,” said Cai. “Shit.”
“We just need to find him, Cai.” They could worry about Rachel one they'd saved Danny's life.
“I know.” Cai said, and the silence between them crept back in. Zoe looked out over the front yard, how dark it was, but how spacious, how familiar, how safe. “Zo,” Cai said. “If you’re not sleeping, do you want to go for a drive? I’m going mad here.”
Zoe shook her head. She didn’t want to leave the property. “Come over,” she said. “Be careful.” Sunday night seemed an unlikely time to get in an accident, but she wouldn’t be surprised if he did. It seemed like that kind of day.
Before Cai knew it, he was creeping downstairs to write a note for his grandparents. He picked up the keys from the wooden bowl in the shape of a fish, closed the front door quietly and was out to the car.
Zoe was waiting on the porch swing, gently rocking back and forth with a light blanket around her shoulders. She’d been there for a while, and though it was a warm night – too warm to sleep comfortably even in the best of circumstances – there was a slight breeze and she was glad of her blanket. She’d first come outside hoping that sitting in the dark would make her sleepier. So far, it hadn’t worked. She still had too much adrenaline, and horror and fear.
Pictured over and over the image of Danny lying there, just giving up.
Pictured the more disturbing images too.
Couldn’t really stop.
At least she hadn’t started to cry again.
Cai joined her on the swing, making it rock a little more with his weight.
They didn’t speak, at all. Just rocked for a little while, before Zoe pulled the blanket closer around her shoulders and shuffled over. Cai looped his arm around her back, careful, and she lay her head on his shoulder, careful.
She stayed like that for quite a while, till Cai made a noise, and she lifted her head. “What?”
“Nothing,” he said quickly, but Zoe had a way of interrogating you with just her eyes. He wondered if she knew how powerful it was. “Just annoyed with myself.” Zoe lifted her eyebrows and the interrogation deepened. But he wanted to tell her – well, he did and he didn’t.
Could go either way.
“Danny’s… in hell right now. And I don’t say that lightly. Danny’s in hell and we don’t know where he is and time is running out and I keep thinking that somehow, if I kiss you again, it will help.”
Zoe raised her eyebrows a little further, at a slightly different tilt. “Told you I was annoyed at myself,” he muttered. “Sorry Zoe.”
“Idiot,” she said, but a moment later they were kissing. She might have started it. She honestly didn’t know. All she knew was that it felt really, vitally important to put her hands behind his neck and pull him close.
It didn’t last long – it couldn’t. There was too much of Danny in both of their heads. Cai had felt the world start to tilt the way it did before he was twisted back into someone else’s past – or was it the swing? He pulled back anyway, but left his hands on her shoulders, over the blanket.
Did it help? Zoe wondered. Did it help me? I want to do it again. Right now. I’m very very tired it has been a horrible day and everything is probably doomed and I should kiss him again. So she did.
She’d avoided being touched by anyone since this afternoon at Peter’s. Her skin had crawled with the memory of the vision, a visceral, gut reaction she couldn’t help reinterpreting over and over. And yet kissing Cai only felt like kissing Cai. There was no taint here. Not till they stopped and the rest of the world rushed back in, Danny at the vanguard.
“Okay,” said Zoe, and, “Well then.” Cai released her shoulders, and tucked his hands awkwardly under his arms. He kind of wanted to say thank you but even right now he knew that was stupid.
Zoe pulled herself away from him and stood up, taking a few steps out to the edge of the porch, her blanket clutched tight around her. This was too fast and there was too much going on; she had to reassess everything before anything else happened. She didn’t like being out of her depth (some parts of her did, but those parts of her were not allowed to make important decisions like this) and right now, she was definitely out of her depth.
She took a deep, deep breath of warm night air, of summer flowers and pollution, then blacked out and fell off the porch.
The fatigue and hopelessness was evident on Danny's face as Greg left him alone in the bedroom. Danny had given up fighting long ago, and Greg no longer saw any reason to lock Danny in the chest when he left. He truly believed Danny would simply lie there and wait for his return.
Danny, however, had other ideas. Despite the pain and the weariness, the second the door was closed, he slipped from the bed and ducked under it. Once there, he started pulling at one of the bed springs, seeking to loosen it enough to pry it free. He had been working on it for days now and finally, finally it pulled loose.
Cai swore way too loudly than was appropriate at something-past-midnight at the family home of a girl you’d just kissed, and scrambled off the swing to grab her. He couldn’t stop her falling but he couldn’t leave her seizing on the ground like that, seeing who knew what horrible things.
Besides, she was too close to the bottom of the porch steps, and she might hurt herself. He put his hands on her shoulders again, and as soon as he did, just like that day in the pool, she began to stop seizing, slowing to a violent shaking at first, then merely trembling, with occasional shuddering jerks. But by that time, Cai was deep in her vision too.
Danny crawled out from under the bed, the tangled metal in his hands. A quick glance at the page-a-day calendar showed the date was July 30th. He wouldn't even make it to August. Without hesitating, so Greg wouldn't come back and stop him, Danny dug the metal into his wrists and dragged upwards roughly. Blood spilled out of the wounds and Danny had to bite down on his lip to keep from crying out in pain. The second wrist was messier. He had little strength left and he was working with an injury.
It was still enough. Danny dropped the metal spring and he laid himself down on his Uncle's bed, letting himself bleed out. It was the only way, really. It was over and he was free. As he closed his eyes and smiled, the vision shifted, showing the small grey house and the startling red number on the front wall that read 402. A glance to the side revealed the street name, Smith Street. Not an uncommon name, but the vision has given them a warning. They had three days to find the correct Smith Street.
In three days, Danny would be dead by his own hands.
Hah, no. she replied. I am definitely not asleep tonight.
A moment later Zoe’s phone started to gently ring. "I can’t sleep either,” Cai said, though that fact was fairly obvious.
“I want to,” Zoe said. “I thought I might dream about it.”
“Are you crazy? Why would you want – ooh right, sorry. Forgot you could do that in dreams too.”
Zoe sighed. “I just want it to be over – I want him safe. I want him to have never been taken. I want… I want to sleep but I’ve tried and tried and it’s not happening. Half considering borrowing some of Rachel’s sleeping pills.”
“How is Rach?”
Zoe grunted. “The other day she and her dad were getting drunk together.”
“Oh,” said Cai. “Shit.”
“We just need to find him, Cai.” They could worry about Rachel one they'd saved Danny's life.
“I know.” Cai said, and the silence between them crept back in. Zoe looked out over the front yard, how dark it was, but how spacious, how familiar, how safe. “Zo,” Cai said. “If you’re not sleeping, do you want to go for a drive? I’m going mad here.”
Zoe shook her head. She didn’t want to leave the property. “Come over,” she said. “Be careful.” Sunday night seemed an unlikely time to get in an accident, but she wouldn’t be surprised if he did. It seemed like that kind of day.
Before Cai knew it, he was creeping downstairs to write a note for his grandparents. He picked up the keys from the wooden bowl in the shape of a fish, closed the front door quietly and was out to the car.
Zoe was waiting on the porch swing, gently rocking back and forth with a light blanket around her shoulders. She’d been there for a while, and though it was a warm night – too warm to sleep comfortably even in the best of circumstances – there was a slight breeze and she was glad of her blanket. She’d first come outside hoping that sitting in the dark would make her sleepier. So far, it hadn’t worked. She still had too much adrenaline, and horror and fear.
Pictured over and over the image of Danny lying there, just giving up.
Pictured the more disturbing images too.
Couldn’t really stop.
At least she hadn’t started to cry again.
Cai joined her on the swing, making it rock a little more with his weight.
They didn’t speak, at all. Just rocked for a little while, before Zoe pulled the blanket closer around her shoulders and shuffled over. Cai looped his arm around her back, careful, and she lay her head on his shoulder, careful.
She stayed like that for quite a while, till Cai made a noise, and she lifted her head. “What?”
“Nothing,” he said quickly, but Zoe had a way of interrogating you with just her eyes. He wondered if she knew how powerful it was. “Just annoyed with myself.” Zoe lifted her eyebrows and the interrogation deepened. But he wanted to tell her – well, he did and he didn’t.
Could go either way.
“Danny’s… in hell right now. And I don’t say that lightly. Danny’s in hell and we don’t know where he is and time is running out and I keep thinking that somehow, if I kiss you again, it will help.”
Zoe raised her eyebrows a little further, at a slightly different tilt. “Told you I was annoyed at myself,” he muttered. “Sorry Zoe.”
“Idiot,” she said, but a moment later they were kissing. She might have started it. She honestly didn’t know. All she knew was that it felt really, vitally important to put her hands behind his neck and pull him close.
It didn’t last long – it couldn’t. There was too much of Danny in both of their heads. Cai had felt the world start to tilt the way it did before he was twisted back into someone else’s past – or was it the swing? He pulled back anyway, but left his hands on her shoulders, over the blanket.
Did it help? Zoe wondered. Did it help me? I want to do it again. Right now. I’m very very tired it has been a horrible day and everything is probably doomed and I should kiss him again. So she did.
She’d avoided being touched by anyone since this afternoon at Peter’s. Her skin had crawled with the memory of the vision, a visceral, gut reaction she couldn’t help reinterpreting over and over. And yet kissing Cai only felt like kissing Cai. There was no taint here. Not till they stopped and the rest of the world rushed back in, Danny at the vanguard.
“Okay,” said Zoe, and, “Well then.” Cai released her shoulders, and tucked his hands awkwardly under his arms. He kind of wanted to say thank you but even right now he knew that was stupid.
Zoe pulled herself away from him and stood up, taking a few steps out to the edge of the porch, her blanket clutched tight around her. This was too fast and there was too much going on; she had to reassess everything before anything else happened. She didn’t like being out of her depth (some parts of her did, but those parts of her were not allowed to make important decisions like this) and right now, she was definitely out of her depth.
She took a deep, deep breath of warm night air, of summer flowers and pollution, then blacked out and fell off the porch.
The fatigue and hopelessness was evident on Danny's face as Greg left him alone in the bedroom. Danny had given up fighting long ago, and Greg no longer saw any reason to lock Danny in the chest when he left. He truly believed Danny would simply lie there and wait for his return.
Danny, however, had other ideas. Despite the pain and the weariness, the second the door was closed, he slipped from the bed and ducked under it. Once there, he started pulling at one of the bed springs, seeking to loosen it enough to pry it free. He had been working on it for days now and finally, finally it pulled loose.
Cai swore way too loudly than was appropriate at something-past-midnight at the family home of a girl you’d just kissed, and scrambled off the swing to grab her. He couldn’t stop her falling but he couldn’t leave her seizing on the ground like that, seeing who knew what horrible things.
Besides, she was too close to the bottom of the porch steps, and she might hurt herself. He put his hands on her shoulders again, and as soon as he did, just like that day in the pool, she began to stop seizing, slowing to a violent shaking at first, then merely trembling, with occasional shuddering jerks. But by that time, Cai was deep in her vision too.
Danny crawled out from under the bed, the tangled metal in his hands. A quick glance at the page-a-day calendar showed the date was July 30th. He wouldn't even make it to August. Without hesitating, so Greg wouldn't come back and stop him, Danny dug the metal into his wrists and dragged upwards roughly. Blood spilled out of the wounds and Danny had to bite down on his lip to keep from crying out in pain. The second wrist was messier. He had little strength left and he was working with an injury.
It was still enough. Danny dropped the metal spring and he laid himself down on his Uncle's bed, letting himself bleed out. It was the only way, really. It was over and he was free. As he closed his eyes and smiled, the vision shifted, showing the small grey house and the startling red number on the front wall that read 402. A glance to the side revealed the street name, Smith Street. Not an uncommon name, but the vision has given them a warning. They had three days to find the correct Smith Street.
In three days, Danny would be dead by his own hands.
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