darker_london | Fix it, fix it! (Thomas, Mary, Spectre)

Current Mood: uncomfortable

Entry tags:

Fix it, fix it! (Thomas, Mary, Spectre)

Thomas was as calm as he was going to be, going in to something like this. Spectre had asked for a chance to work things out last night, and now Thomas was ready to give him one. He was ready to give them all one. Peter had always been incredibly adept at making people realise the problems people had, buried deep down under miles and miles of defense mechanisms. Peter brought those issues to light, and then proved that, not only could they be overcome, but that there usually wasn't anyone to blame. Thomas didn't want to blame, he wanted to fix this right the hell now, before his relationships imploded simply because his girlfriend had asked him to marry her.

Meeting in Spectre and Thomas's bedroom didn't seem fair to Mary, and meeting anywhere else didn't necessarily ensure privacy. So...feeling like a dick for talking to his lovers about the future of their relationships in a place that was, primarily, a mental hospital...Thomas arranged to meet both Spectre and Mary in Peter's large office while Peter was most certainly not in it. And he was, at that very moment, spinning lazily around in Peter's office chair, going "wwwwwooooooooooooooo" until someone opened the door. In his mind, he was going an experiment to see how quickly a dead person became dizzy. In reality, it was just fun. And distracting. And both were important.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Well now, that's certainly an interesting sight," Spectre observed, as he entered Peter's office. He gave the other man a small smile. It was nice to see him being silly, anyway. There certainly hadn't been any silliness on the horizon last night. "How are you doing, sweetheart?"

Thomas stood from the chair immediately when Spectre entered the office and he sort of stumbled over to his lover, blinking his eyes to clear his vision. "Didn't think that one through..." Thomas mumbled. "I made my brain twirly." But somehow he made it to his lover's side, he suspected he had a special Spectre homing beacon, and he wrapped his arms around tiny Spectre's body. "I love you." He assured him. "I love you and we'll work this out, alright? I am so sorry I was a mental case last night. I won't hurt you like that again."

"Thomas, it was perfectly understandable," Spectre said, doing quite a remarkable job of keeping Thomas from twirling off onto the floor, despite the man's greater size. "I love you too. I always will. Of course we'll work this out. It's what we do." Nevertheless, it was good to hear Thomas say it with some assurance, because he hadn't seemed quite so sure last night...

"I talked to Peter. He did that Peter thing. I should have gone to see him first and then I could have saved both of us a lot of strife. God...if I'd actually-" Thomas heaved a sigh, and he shook his head, unable to believe he'd almost broken it off with Spectre simply because he'd been freaking out. "I'm glad you didn't let me. Thank you. For not letting me."

"As if I'd ever let you!" Spectre said. He gave Thomas a squeeze and kissed his chest, as that was the part most easily presented to him, given their disparity in height. "I'm glad you talked to Peter. He always has a lot of wisdom to share-"

His thought was cut off by the door opening again. Mary entered the room sheepishly, and seemed quite worried about how Spectre in particular was going to react to her. "Hello," she greeted them softly.

"Hello, Gorgeous." Thomas gave her a look which clearly communicated that she shouldn't feel embarrassed as he held one hand out to her. And then he kissed Spectre's forehead, just for good measure, since Spectre had just kissed him. "We were just discussing Peter and his sharing of the wisdom. I am no longer having a conniption fit. Which I am sure you are both relieved to hear."

Mary nodded, and took the hand that was offered to her. "I'm sorry," she said, and looked from Thomas to Spectre. "To both of you. What I asked was unfair. I thought I'd thought it through, and I had, just... badly?" She could see the understanding in Thomas' eyes, but she hoped Spectre would give her the same. He was a wonderful man, and she didn't want to lose his respect or friendship.

"Badly doesn't come into it," Spectre said, shaking his head. "If you'd ended up going back wondering... that couldn't be good. I wouldn't want that hanging over you."

"Spectre is a wise man, Mary. You should listen to him." Thomas kissed Mary's forehead too, giving her hand a squeeze, and then he smiled down at them. "Peter pointed out something that he has insight to...that I didn't even know. And so it wouldn't be fair to expect you to. Apparently I'm terrified of marriage. And it was never an issue when I was alive because I was a monk, married to the church, and in love with my garden. And Peter, but...whatever. The point is...it matters now. And, had I known, I wouldn't have reacted so violently. I'm so sorry I did. I didn't know my father fucked me up so much."

"You're right," Mary said softly. "I had no idea. I never would have asked if I'd known. The last thing I wanted to do was cause... all this." She lifted Thomas' hand to her lips. "I'm glad I know now, though."

"That Peter is a wise man," Spectre said. "I don't know how he manages to know us better than we know ourselves, but he does." He slid one arm around Thomas, his hand resting on the man's back. "If anyone can understand being fucked up by the sins of the father, it's me. That's certainly nothing that needs apologising for."

"I'm apologising anyway." Thomas said with a wink. They were both here now and no one was yelling and there was touching and Spectre hadn't bitten Mary on her anything and things could be okay. They still had a lot to talk about though.

"I uhm...I wanted to make it clear that I am in no way scared of being with you both forever. That's not a scary thing to me, that's the best thing. But the reason it works, is because both of these relationships are equal. I love you both more than anything and anyone. But I don't love you more than each other. Or...okay, that made sense in my head... I love you equally. And Mary...issues aside, I would be honoured to be your husband. Unlawfully as it would have to be. But I can't be unless I'm Spectre's too. Once there's inequality, things will go badly. Maybe not at first but...someone will be upset about something, and it might lead to jealousy and before you know it...there's an implosion. And I can't...I can't do that."

Edited 2008-04-01 12:51 (UTC)

"I know," Mary said, "and I only ever intended for this to happen if it was something Spectre wanted to. I'd never go through with it otherwise. I agree with you absolutely, Thomas." She squeezed her lover's hand. "Equality is essential. I'd never try and make our relationship anything other than equal." She looked to Spectre. "I promise."

Spectre smiled at Mary. "I know you wouldn't. It never occurred to me that you would." He looked up at Thomas. "I guess the question is, assuming there would be equality, would it actually be something you want now that you've had time to think and identify the issues involved for you, and for us?"

Thomas took several deep and calming breaths right about then. One, two, three, four....five, si- "Yes." He finally said, and once he'd done that, everything seemed so much easier. "Yes it is. Of course it is. But only if you both want that too. And not just because it has to be both of you." He said, aiming that last part at Spectre. He didn't want Spectre doing this just so Mary didn't 'miss out'.

"Yes," Spectre said, nodding his agreement. "Which is why I don't want to decide at this very minute, where I am on this. I want some time to think. So I can make my decision without the influence of freaking out, and all that." He looked specifically to Mary. "I promise I won't leave it so long that... you're not around. I just want a few days to think calmly. The last thing I want to do is jump into something like this half-cocked. I have far too much love and respect for both of you to do something like that."

"Of course," Mary said. "That's... far more than I felt I could expect or deserve."

And Spectre saying that made Thomas feel much better about the entire thing already. Because it meant he was thinking along the same lines as Thomas was. Marriage wasn't something you jumped into. It was something you...didn't. "I think you're very wise." Thomas said, giving Spectre a cute little nose-kiss. "And trust me, Babe. Either way you decide...it's absolutely alright with me. I know where I stand with both of you. Even more now than I did a few days ago. I don't need this to prove you both love me. I know that. Beyond a shadow of a doubt."

He kissed them both again, this time on the lips, and then he turned to Mary for a moment, putting his hands on her arms. "Please don't feel guilty for upsetting me. Thank you. Mary, thank you so much for trying so hard to give me something wonderful."

Spectre smiled, and leaned up on tip-toes to kiss Thomas' cheek. Everything was going to be fine, just as he'd hoped. The fact that he had assurance of that made him feel better about everything else. There was no pressure on his decision, and it would be a true reflection of what was best. Things couldn't have gone better, really.

Mary let out a sort-of laugh, that quickly turned into her trying to hold back tears. She wiped at her eyes, and looked up at Thomas lovingly. "My love... I wish it had worked out better. I'm just glad... that it didn't stay a bad thing. That it helped, in its own way. I love you."

"Oh, Mary..." Thomas wrapped both his arms around her, holding her close. "Baby, please don't be upset. I love you. You gave me a wonderful evening. Please...let's go out. I can't imagine any of us have done much relaxing since last night." Thomas stepped back so he could look at Spectre too. "I'll take you both out for dinner if you want. We'll just have a nice time." Thomas reached out and he ran his fingers through Spectre's hair. "Exactly like it should be."

"Yes," Mary said, nodding against Thomas' chest. "That sounds perfect. Yes please, very much."

Spectre inclined his head into Thomas' touch. "I absolutely agree. Thomas speaks great wisdom."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Fix it, fix it! (Thomas, Mary, Spectre)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject