darker_london | The Cause (Peter, Hospital people)

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The Cause (Peter, Hospital people)

The CT machine wasn't as bad as Peter expected it to be, but the loud thunking noises it made didn't help his claustrophobia. Nor did the fact that Abby couldn't work the machine or be in the room, so it was being run by a tech who was extremely nervous to be working on his boss. He kept saying things like "Whoops, sorry!" over the intercom, which didn't make Peter feel all that comforted. Still, Abby was there to take his hand afterwards, and she gave him a sweet little smile as well. Things between them were fine, which was as much of a relief as this entire situation was a worry.

Abby led Peter in to a little room to wait for the results of the scan. Peter's family was waiting in there too. Tasha and Robert and Thomas and David and Aly. He gave them a brave yet shy smile. He felt weak, somehow, even though he was doing the smart thing. Embarrassed and on the spot. He hated that he was causing them worry yet again. It didn't seem fair to them. Abby released his hand and Peter went over to sit beside Aly so he could give her a kiss. She looked far more distraught than the rest of them. This scene was far too familiar for her liking. Peter sighed into the silence, and they waited.

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Tasha got up and immediately sat down on Peter's other side, and curled her fingers into his hair, her other arm hugging him. She felt a childish urge to curl up in his lap, but he might have been sick, and Tasha was hardly a little eight-year old child, easily cradled. Besides, it was Peter who was the rightful recipient of comfort here. She could find her own comfort in the arms of her girlfriend later.

David was finding it hard to keep calm. He crossed, uncrossed, and re-crossed his legs the opposite way, shifting nervously in his seat every few minutes. The waiting was getting to him, and he couldn't calm his pulse. This waiting was always the worst.

Peter didn't have any way of knowing what Tasha was thinking, but that didn't matter because he was thinking the exact same thing. She wanted to take comfort in her father and he wanted to take comfort in the young woman who had become his daughter. So while she curled her fingers in his hair, Peter reached both arms around her and he pulled her into his lap anyway, hugging her close so he could bury his face in the nape of her neck. Aly watched them and she leaned forward so she could wrap her arms around them both.

Thomas was sitting beside David the Twitchy, so he put his hand on his friend's leg and he gave him as close to a reassuring smile as he could manage. Abby was about to do the same for Thomas when the CAT scan operator stuck his head into the room. "Excuse me...Dr. Littleton, can you come here for a second?"

Abby glanced around at the room and felt suddenly very on the spot. She cleared her throat. "Of course. Excuse me." And she followed the operator out of the room. Peter only held Tasha that much tighter.

Tasha made a little sound against Peter's neck, and clung to him more tightly as well. She loved that he had seemed to know exactly what she needed, and needed it too. She realised she was shaking a little in her worry. "I love you, Dad," she told him softly, and planted a kiss on his cheek. The brief exchange between Abby and the operator had been foreboding. Why couldn't he just tell them what was going on? Why did it have to be such a mystery?

David returned Thomas' smile as best he could, and placed his hand over the other man's. He was so good at comforting other people. David watched Abby go, and took a deep breath. "It's going to be alright," he said quietly, to everyone and no one. "It'll be alright."

Peter sighed and he didn't respond to David. Instead he snuggled against Aly and Tasha. "I love you too, Sweetheart."

Thomas nodded at David. "It can only be alright." And that was true...after a fashion. He glanced up at Robert who was purposely hanging back. He didn't belong here. He had betrayed Peter and even though he'd died for it and now he and Peter were okay again, he still felt like an intruder on this family. Thomas was a part of it. He was not. But Thomas gave him a reassuring smile. "Come over here, Robert?"

Robert nodded and he slid so he was in the seat Abby had vacated. "Thanks."

Abby walked back in, and her expression was not encouraging. Peter looked up at her, though he didn't loosen his grip on his wife and daughter. "Erm...so?"

"They're bringing in the printouts now. There's definitely a shadow on them, Peter. It's...quite large actually."

David gripped Thomas' hand, barely even aware that he was doing it. "Okay... so, do you know... what do you think that will mean in the context of Peter?"

Tasha shifted so that she could look at Abby, but she stayed well and truly in Peter's lap. She didn't want to leave that space, in the comforting arms of her parents now, until she had to.

"Well I-" but Abby was cut off by the technician who bustled through the door with the print outs. He hung them on the wall and turned on the backlight so they could all see.

"Good evening, everyone. Ahem. Erm...Mr...Pete..uh..Kemp." The young man cleared his throat. "It's this area that concerns me. Do you see the darker area here?"

Peter took a deep breath and he nodded. "Yes it's...sort of hard to miss, isn't it?"

"Heh. Uhm...yes." The poor technician looked clearly lost.

Abby stood up and she patted the young man on the back. "He hasn't had to do this for the person who pays his paycheck before." Abby approached the printout. "We won't know what it is exactly until we do a biopsy. But it appears to be a fairly large tumor."

Aly's breath caught in her throat and she felt all at once completely nauseous. "A...brain tumor." What the fuck was it!? Was she fucking radioactive?!

Edited 2009-07-18 13:05 (UTC)

Tasha reached around to hold Aly closely as well as Peter. Just like her late husband, William... Tasha felt what a blow it must have been to Aly to the core of her heart, causing a few tears to fall down her cheeks.

"Assuming it is," David said, fighting to keep his voice level, "we should probably know what sort of options we're looking at..." He looked to the others to make sure no one objected to hearing it now.

Abby nodded. She'd been about to get to that, but she was actually glad that David reminded her. She was distracted by the completely crushed look on her older brother's face. "Uhm...yes, well...I'm not a neurologist or a oncologist, but if I can tell you it's...far too large to be operable. See here?" She pointed to the front of the scan. "It's in to the frontal lobe. That's what's causing the odd behaviour, odd speech patterns...the dizzyness. You could do radiation therapy, but I certainly don't think it's the best option. Not with newborns and pregnancies." Abby sighed. "Peter, can you remember when you started having symptoms?"

Peter bit his lip. "Uhm...early June? I was having headaches but I just thought...I thought it was stress. 'Cause of...Spectre. And then Aly was pregnant. Oh yeah and I was the Antichrist."

The technician looked rather disturbed and he had to leave the room.

"Shit," David murmured. He hadn't realised it had been that long. Thinking back to William, two and a half months was a huge amount of times to develop. Even with all his knowledge of Peter's immortal state, he still felt as though his stomach had dropped away and disappeared through the floor.

Tasha's breath caught raggedly as she fought not to cry. Now wasn't the time. Be strong. Listen to what Abby has to say.

"So if not those," David continued, "does that leave us with anything else?" He didn't know what new techniques might have become available since William's death, or what new factors might come into play because of Peter's special circumstances.

Abby nodded. "It does, but all of them are a stall. And...well it's not my decision to make but if I were in Peter's position I wouldn't want to prolong this at all."

Peter shook his head. "No I...not..not prolonging."

"I suggest you speak with the staff oncologist. I'll apprise him of your unique situation, but I'm pretty sure he'll say the same thing. If you've been having symptoms since June, this is a fairly fast growing tumor. It's uhm...that just means that it won't...last as long."

Peter couldn't quite believe this was happening. He rubbed his eye and then squeezed Tasha again, despite the fact that his legs her going semi-numb. He didn't want her to move. "So basically I just...wait it out?"

"A neurologist could prescribe the proper anti-seizure medication to make sure you don't have any of those. I believe you had a mild seizure on the boat the other day. I'm not surprised what with all the excitement. He'll give you something for the headaches as well."

"But I...I'm..does this mean I'm going to...keep acting the way I have been?"

Abby looked terribly uncomfortable, but she nodded. "I think it might be one of the reasons you slipped so easily in to drinking as well, if you've been experiencing symptoms since June. It could easily explain the out of character behaviour you exhibited."

"Well fuck." Peter hissed.

Tasha placed a hand on Peter's head, and held it gently to hers. "It'll be okay," she told him, her voice trembling. "We understand now. We won't... we know you're still you, it's just the thing messing with you... Dad... you'll be okay..." Despite her words, Tasha started crying.

David was unable to remain seated, so he got up, running both hands through his hair. He didn't want to ask the next question. He hated probing into this thing that was so damn terrible. But it was probably important to have the knowledge on hand. "How long do you estimate, before...?"

Peter kissed Tasha's cheek, but he started crying as well. He leaned his forehead against hers and he closed his eyes, waiting for Abby to speak. He could feel his wife's hands curling in his shirt so he reached out to take her hand in one of his.

"That depends on the kind of tumor." Abby said, starting to feel distinctly out of her league. "I can schedule a stereotactic biopsy and we will have more information. Until then, I don't want to make a guess and be very wrong..." Abby turned off the backlight and she stepped forward so she could hug Thomas who was still too distraught to say anything. "With the frontal lobe effected it could cause memory loss or it might make you say very strange things. Or even do strange things like put your shoes in the oven..."

"Fuck!" David finally yelled, and could hardly restrain himself from putting his fist through the backlit wall that the scans were displayed on. Bastard things, evidence of what was wrong with Peter. He couldn't look at them any more. He turned away, and braced himself against the opposite wall with one hand, his head hanging down so he was staring down at the seat of a chair. Tears fell from his eyes onto the chair with soft little thuds.

Tasha just curled further into her parents' embrace, loathing every word that was spoken of Peter's condition.

Abby looked at her own hands. "I just...you need to know..."

Peter looked up at Abby, though tears were still slipping down his face. "No, Abby. You're right. We need to know. I need to know." Peter kissed Tasha and then he scooted her out of his lap and in to Aly's waiting arms so he could go to David. Peter put his hand on his brother-in-law's back. "David? I'm not going to go anywhere, alright? Really." David had lost William to this just like Aly had. William was David's best friend. And now Peter was and it seemed too cruel that David and Aly would have to suffer through this again. "It's only for a little while. And then I'll be me again. Okay?"

Thomas felt sick to his stomach which was an accomplishment for a dead man, and to see Peter comforting someone about his own condition caused him to cry silently as well. Thomas hardly ever cried, but this was certainly the time for it. He held on tightly to his little sister and then he reached out for Robert's hand as well.

David turned around and hugged Peter tightly. "Yes. You're right. I know you're right. This just... shouldn't happen twice in one lifetime. It shouldn't happen once."

Tasha wrapped herself around Aly as tightly as she had around Peter, though she was careful of course of the baby bump as she had been with Peter's head.

"No, it shouldn't." Peter said softly. "I'm sorry, David. I'm really sorry." If he hadn't been so fucking drunk they might have figured this out sooner than now.

"It's not your fault, Peter, not at all." He sighed heavily. "We just have to weather this, like Abby said." He pulled back enough to look Peter in the eye, but kept his hands on his best friend's arms. "We'll be with you all the way. You'll be as far from as alone as a man can possibly be."

Peter smiled as much as he could manage. "I already know that."

Abby spoke up. "The neurologist is off today, but I'll go ring him in. He can speak with you before you leave. And I'll schedule the biopsy."

"Thank you, Abby." Peter gave a little nod and Abby left the room. He sighed and he leaned against the wall. "Well...I guess it wasn't the brie then." And then he shook his head. "Why do I do that?"

"Because you're Peter." Thomas said flatly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"So far." Peter said and he closed his eyes.

"Dad, you always will be," Tasha said, rising from her position with Aly to move close to him once more. "This doesn't change the person you are inside. All that changes... all that will happen, is you might express something strange once in a while..." Tasha seemed to be focusing her eyesight on some point on the wall, not meeting anyone's eyes. It was as though she were telling this to herself. "Nothing can alter the fact that are and always will be the man we call Peter Kemp."

David set his jaw and nodded. Tasha was right. She had to be right. There was no other way things could be.

Peter looked up at her and he nodded. "It's just a bit...daunting. But you...probably all knew that."

Aly stood and she went to embrace her brother. She was remembering when William forgot who she was. He called her Alice and then nothing. She fucking hated it. "Peter, if you're going to be ill, and I'm going to be ill...we probably need to think about getting some help. We can't just ask Tasha to do it all."

"Help?" Peter looked confused. Did she mean like...servants? Ew!

"Like a nanny and maybe a maid?" Aly said gently.

"A...nanny!" Peter pouted. He didn't want someone else taking care of his kids. Dammit.

"I'll help," Tasha said immediately. "Aly's right, I'm not up to the task of looking after the kids on my own, and it wouldn't be fair on them for me to try. But I will help. They're my brothers and sisters."

"I'll do what I can to help, too," David added. "Obviously I have work, and Christina needs me too, but that hasn't kept us from you before, and it won't keep us away now. Still, as Tasha said, we can't devote as much time to your children or your house as they'll need. Aly's idea is probably the way to go."

"I just...don't like the idea of it. But...if I'm going to be cooking my shoes you're probably right." Peter sighed. "God fucking dammit. Okay. I should go talk to his neurologist person. I'll see you all in a little while." Mostly Peter just needed some air. But he kissed them all goodbye and went to find Abby.

Thomas stood and he hugged Aly close. "How are you, Miss Aly."

"Shit." She said flatly. "Do you think I'm radioactive?! Is it me doing this?!"

"No, Babe. It's life being a real fuckin' bitch. And I'd beat the crap out of it if I could, just for you."

And despite herself, Aly laughed in to Thomas's chest. Sometimes you just had to.

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The Cause (Peter, Hospital people)

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