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darker_london2011-05-15 06:36 pm
deirdre-ionuin.livejournal.com) wrote in darker_london2011-05-15 06:36 pm
Entry tags:
Fight! (Deirdre, Giles)
The last person Deirdre ever expected to find at her door was Giles Raines. When the doorbell sounded, she expected a courier, since everyone she knew tended to walk right in. "I think I have a package!" Deirdre informed Juliette, her nanny. She handed her son Gabriel over to Juliette and then she bounced towards the door, pulling it open with a flourish and a grin which faded the second she saw Giles.
"...oh."
Giles put his hands up instantly in a sign of surrender. Deirdre felt momentarily pleased that he looked worried she might hurt him. And considering how their wedding had gone down and their subsequent annulment, she was considering it.
"Deirdre, don't slam the door!"
Deirdre narrowed her eyes at him and then she crossed her arms in defiance. "And why shouldn't I?" He looked good. The last time she had seen him, he had still been in hospital from when her sister Paula had smashed his face in when his cheating had come out into the open during their reception. He had had to have reconstructive face surgery, since being pummelled by a demon was kind of like being hit in the face with a two-tonne lorry. He looked the same as he always had though. Aloof and sort of stunned by the world at large. And still scared. She hoped he kept that up. "You are a dickiebird. And I don't like you any more."
Giles gave her a strange look, and then he slowly lowered his hands. "I heard you were back. I heard what happened to your family and I'm so sorry, Deirdre."
"Yeah, well-" Deirdre sniffed, forcing herself not to think about her dead siblings right now. "You don't actually get to care. You cheated on me and I found out when your girlfriend crashed our wedding, and you don't get to care any more!"
"I do anyway," Giles said softly. "But I had a feeling you wouldn't really appreciate that. I...Deirdre, I'm here for Gabriel and Eiley. I miss them."
Deirdre raised her eyebrows at Giles, her mouth falling open a little. He was here for their kids? She hadn't ever expected him to care all that much about the twins, especially since the pregnancy was a result of sex that happened long before their relationship ever did. But when they had gotten together, he had turned into quite a surprisingly attentive father. It was endearing at the time, but now it was just irritating. "Good. You should miss them. You gave up a chance to live with us and be a happy family, and that is your fault." Not that Deirdre believed in happy families any more.
"Deirdre, I know I fucked up!" Giles said, getting desperate now. "I haven't seen my kids since November. Please-"
Deirdre would have slammed the door in his reconstructed face, had she not just left her children for a few months to go on a mission of revenge. She knew what it was like to see them again and look at all the changes they had gone through. To wonder if they would recognise her. She knew Giles was wondering that same thing from the look on his face, and because she understood, she couldn't shut him out. "Argghhhh, fine. But you're an arse," she said, stepping aside finally so that he could come into the house.
Giles walked past her as he whispered, "I am not going to disagree with you."
"Good. Because that would be stupid," Deirdre informed him. Then she grabbed his wrist before he could head into the kitchen where the twins were with Juliette, instead pulling him into the library. "How did you know I was back?"
"Flynn told me," Giles said, glancing towards Deirdre who was now blocking his only exit.
"Oh calm down, I'm not going to smash your face in like my sister did. So you are speaking to Flynn now?"
"He came to tell me I was a deadbeat, yeah," Giles nodded. "But he said you might let me see my kids."
Deirdre's eyes narrowed and she twisted her lips into a frown. "Let me tell you something about those kids, okay? Look, when you and I used to have casual fucking in your dressing room I was going through a breakup with my girls. Being an impulsive demon, I thought a baby would fix everything with them. Because I'm insane or something, whatever. And I thought, okay, who would be the perfect guy to get me pregnant. Who wouldn't want anything to do with the baby so I could be left alone with it and my girls. And I decided you were the perfect guy for that, Giles. You."
Giles was staring at her, looking unsure of how to react. "What...what are you telling me, Deirdre?"
Deirdre couldn't believe he wasn't getting this. It frustrated her and she shoved her fingers through her crimson hair before ranting at him as she paced back and forth in front of the door. "I am telling you that having your children wasn't an accident! I did it on purpose. I wasn't on birth control. I lied and I did horrible, manipulative, disgusting things to you because I'm a demon and I have no moral compass. Actually I do...his name is Peter Kemp, but I didn't go to him and say, 'hey, would it be a bad idea if I made someone get me pregnant without telling him' because I know the answer and I didn't care.
"Do you know why I picked you? Because you seemed like the last person who would ever take responsibility. You seemed like an arsey loser who didn't give a fuck about anyone but yourself. And I knew that, and then, for some fucked up reason, Kaitie died and I lost my ability to see you for what you are even when everyone kept telling me you were trouble. I saw you with the kids you weren't even supposed to meet, but did because I didn't want to deny you access after Kait's death. And then you were actually good with them, and I missed my dead girlfriend and goddammit, you made me love you, but you were nothing! You were supposed to be nothing to me, and nothing to them, and I fucking wish you still were!"
Giles stared at Deirdre silently, long after she was finished yelling truths at him. They were horrible truths. Terrible and reprehensible things had been done to him, and he had done terrible and reprehensible things right back to her. "You...you tricked me."
"Yes," Deirdre whispered. "Because you meant nothing to me. And then you meant everything, and I couldn't tell you. And then you broke my heart and now I hate you. I hate you, Giles, because I trusted you after losing Kaitie-"
Giles was now looking at her as if she was the most disgusting person he had ever seen. "You trusted me?! Deirdre, you changed my life on purpose! You tricked me into getting you pregnant on purpose! You know, you make me wish I didn't care, but I love them. So fuck you, you fucking harpy. But I want to see my kids. You owe me that."
Deirdre glared daggers at him and then she stomped over to him, standing toe to toe with her ex. "Fuck you too. I owe you shit." But it wasn't true. She did owe him that much. "They're in the kitchen. You can stay for an hour. When I come back downstairs, your arse better be gone." And Deirdre stalked away from him, leaving him free to go see his children for the first time since their doomed wedding last November.
"...oh."
Giles put his hands up instantly in a sign of surrender. Deirdre felt momentarily pleased that he looked worried she might hurt him. And considering how their wedding had gone down and their subsequent annulment, she was considering it.
"Deirdre, don't slam the door!"
Deirdre narrowed her eyes at him and then she crossed her arms in defiance. "And why shouldn't I?" He looked good. The last time she had seen him, he had still been in hospital from when her sister Paula had smashed his face in when his cheating had come out into the open during their reception. He had had to have reconstructive face surgery, since being pummelled by a demon was kind of like being hit in the face with a two-tonne lorry. He looked the same as he always had though. Aloof and sort of stunned by the world at large. And still scared. She hoped he kept that up. "You are a dickiebird. And I don't like you any more."
Giles gave her a strange look, and then he slowly lowered his hands. "I heard you were back. I heard what happened to your family and I'm so sorry, Deirdre."
"Yeah, well-" Deirdre sniffed, forcing herself not to think about her dead siblings right now. "You don't actually get to care. You cheated on me and I found out when your girlfriend crashed our wedding, and you don't get to care any more!"
"I do anyway," Giles said softly. "But I had a feeling you wouldn't really appreciate that. I...Deirdre, I'm here for Gabriel and Eiley. I miss them."
Deirdre raised her eyebrows at Giles, her mouth falling open a little. He was here for their kids? She hadn't ever expected him to care all that much about the twins, especially since the pregnancy was a result of sex that happened long before their relationship ever did. But when they had gotten together, he had turned into quite a surprisingly attentive father. It was endearing at the time, but now it was just irritating. "Good. You should miss them. You gave up a chance to live with us and be a happy family, and that is your fault." Not that Deirdre believed in happy families any more.
"Deirdre, I know I fucked up!" Giles said, getting desperate now. "I haven't seen my kids since November. Please-"
Deirdre would have slammed the door in his reconstructed face, had she not just left her children for a few months to go on a mission of revenge. She knew what it was like to see them again and look at all the changes they had gone through. To wonder if they would recognise her. She knew Giles was wondering that same thing from the look on his face, and because she understood, she couldn't shut him out. "Argghhhh, fine. But you're an arse," she said, stepping aside finally so that he could come into the house.
Giles walked past her as he whispered, "I am not going to disagree with you."
"Good. Because that would be stupid," Deirdre informed him. Then she grabbed his wrist before he could head into the kitchen where the twins were with Juliette, instead pulling him into the library. "How did you know I was back?"
"Flynn told me," Giles said, glancing towards Deirdre who was now blocking his only exit.
"Oh calm down, I'm not going to smash your face in like my sister did. So you are speaking to Flynn now?"
"He came to tell me I was a deadbeat, yeah," Giles nodded. "But he said you might let me see my kids."
Deirdre's eyes narrowed and she twisted her lips into a frown. "Let me tell you something about those kids, okay? Look, when you and I used to have casual fucking in your dressing room I was going through a breakup with my girls. Being an impulsive demon, I thought a baby would fix everything with them. Because I'm insane or something, whatever. And I thought, okay, who would be the perfect guy to get me pregnant. Who wouldn't want anything to do with the baby so I could be left alone with it and my girls. And I decided you were the perfect guy for that, Giles. You."
Giles was staring at her, looking unsure of how to react. "What...what are you telling me, Deirdre?"
Deirdre couldn't believe he wasn't getting this. It frustrated her and she shoved her fingers through her crimson hair before ranting at him as she paced back and forth in front of the door. "I am telling you that having your children wasn't an accident! I did it on purpose. I wasn't on birth control. I lied and I did horrible, manipulative, disgusting things to you because I'm a demon and I have no moral compass. Actually I do...his name is Peter Kemp, but I didn't go to him and say, 'hey, would it be a bad idea if I made someone get me pregnant without telling him' because I know the answer and I didn't care.
"Do you know why I picked you? Because you seemed like the last person who would ever take responsibility. You seemed like an arsey loser who didn't give a fuck about anyone but yourself. And I knew that, and then, for some fucked up reason, Kaitie died and I lost my ability to see you for what you are even when everyone kept telling me you were trouble. I saw you with the kids you weren't even supposed to meet, but did because I didn't want to deny you access after Kait's death. And then you were actually good with them, and I missed my dead girlfriend and goddammit, you made me love you, but you were nothing! You were supposed to be nothing to me, and nothing to them, and I fucking wish you still were!"
Giles stared at Deirdre silently, long after she was finished yelling truths at him. They were horrible truths. Terrible and reprehensible things had been done to him, and he had done terrible and reprehensible things right back to her. "You...you tricked me."
"Yes," Deirdre whispered. "Because you meant nothing to me. And then you meant everything, and I couldn't tell you. And then you broke my heart and now I hate you. I hate you, Giles, because I trusted you after losing Kaitie-"
Giles was now looking at her as if she was the most disgusting person he had ever seen. "You trusted me?! Deirdre, you changed my life on purpose! You tricked me into getting you pregnant on purpose! You know, you make me wish I didn't care, but I love them. So fuck you, you fucking harpy. But I want to see my kids. You owe me that."
Deirdre glared daggers at him and then she stomped over to him, standing toe to toe with her ex. "Fuck you too. I owe you shit." But it wasn't true. She did owe him that much. "They're in the kitchen. You can stay for an hour. When I come back downstairs, your arse better be gone." And Deirdre stalked away from him, leaving him free to go see his children for the first time since their doomed wedding last November.