Trading Spaces (Thomas, Joe)

[hail-st-joseph.livejournal.com]

Joe woke slowly, awareness filtered back to him over the course of about thirty minutes. First he became aware of a blissful floating feeling, and then he realised how warm he was. It was like someone had tested the air and set the temperature to perfect. As he woke more, he started to notice the sick feelings that filled his stomach and head. But there was no pain. He was acutely aware there should have been pain... But there was none.

And then Joe managed to open his heavy eyes and with them, he saw his youngest brother. "Thom's."

Thomas smiled at Joe, and he leaned forward in hs chair, which was already flush against the bed because Thomas was sitting on his crossed legs, and he touched Joe's hand. "Joseph."

"They get it?" Joe's mouth was still catching up with him, he he had a feeling Thomas never quite needed you to say much at all to know what you meant.

"They think they did." Thomas nodded. "They said the infected tissue hadn't spread much, which is a blessing. And the fact that you're built like a brick wall doesn't hurt either."

Joe felt slight relief at that, but he was still too sleepy to process it. "Where's m'wife?"

"Mums sent her home to sleep a few hours ago. She'd been here since you collapsed. Which was a few days ago now. I took over the watch. It's good to see you awake, Joey, you're fuckin' boring when you're asleep."

Joe chuckled, "I believe that. Thom's. Mmm. Are you okay?"

Thomas plainly had to fight not to react openly to the fact that Joe was lying in a hospital bed having just awoken from surgery, and asking if he was alright. It wasn't too long ago he was in the same position, lying limp in a bed unable to participate in the world around hi,. "Heh...yeah, I'm fine, Joe. Don't you worry about me, okay? You just get better."

"'s my job." Joe smiled lazily at Thomas, but his hand gripped Thomas' own with strength. "To worry."

"Oh, Joe. It's not your job." Thomas leaned down to kiss Joe's forehead.

"I like it. Takin' care of you." Joe's expression was fond and unashamed. He loved his family and thanks to the drugs, he was on the verge of breaking into song about it. Hell, he would have danced if he could. "Volunteer work then. Yep."

Thomas laughed and he shook his head at Joe, amused. "Well, alright. I'll accept that one. We're your volunteer work. Thomas' hand tightened on Joe's own because Joe had a long history of saving him. Thomas knew he always would.

Thomas was lying in his hospital bed, frustrated that he had been stuck there for days while at the same time having no energy to do anything else. He was terrified that Amaris would find him, even here. And more terrified that she would find his husband and children while he could do nothing about it. If Spectre and his kids were to suffer what he had at her hands...no. The thought was too terrible to bear.

Joe walked into Thomas' hospital room and despite being injured and sick, Thomas still jumped a mile before be realised who it was. "Jesus fuck," he breathed, when he was assured it was only his protective older brother. "Sorry..."

Joe gave Thomas a very sympathetic look and he pulled up a chair beside Thomas' bed. "I'm not offended, Thomas." The sight of his baby brother, so emaciated and scarred both inside and out, was not something that Joe relished. He wouldn't let it keep him away either. "How are you feeling?"

Thomas blew out a frustrated breath and his expression melted into hopelessness. "I think I'm dying, Joe. I'm out of that...fucked up place," Thomas squeezed his eyes shut against the memory of it, "but I'm still afraid even though I'm surrounded by all of you. I'm still starving even though I eat all the time. I'm still aching, even though Spectre healed what injuries he could." Sometimes memories were just as painful and devastating as actual injuries.

"I brought you something." Joe pulled a bag out of his jacket pocket and he smiled at Thomas. "I know you love blueberries, so I got you a muffin-" Joe was shocked when the second Joe said the words, Thomas burst into tears. "Thomas! Wh..what's wrong?"

Thomas turned his face away from Joe as he cried because he didn't know how to explain it. He knew Joe knew hunger. All the Littletons did. What Joe didn't know, which Thomas was thankful for, was starvation. How it was an utterly different state altogether. Joe wouldn't understand the things it made you feel or think or do. The feeling of your body simply shutting down while you were both helpless to stop it and lacking the energy to try. Joe wouldn't know how it felt when the pangs stopped and the real pain and desperation began. Spectre and Flynn...they probably understood. Even Peter, to some extent, thanks to Razvan and Svetlana. But not a single one of them had been through it with Thomas' metabolism, which had turned thirteen long days into something more akin to thirty-five days without food, according to Dr Lucian Wentworth. That was what his body had been suffering by the end. The equivalent of thirty-five days with nothing to eat. Nothing but one blueberry muffin, which he had eaten off the floor before crying for more.

"It's okay, Thomas. You don't have to say." Joe started to pull the muffin away because it had clearly upset Thomas, even if he couldn't understand why. But that only upset Thomas more. The weak man turned back and he made a frantic grab for the bag, snatching it away. Joe hand no problem giving it over easily, and he rested a calming hand on Thomas' leg. "I wasn't going to take it from you if you wanted it. I never would. I thought it was bothering you."

"I'm..." Thomas sighed and he opened the bag. The sight and smell of the muffin was almost too much for him and his mouth watered as his stomach ached fitfully and demanded it posthaste. He took a huge bite of it and when he had swallowed, he tried to explain. "That was all Amaris gave me. A blueberry muffin." Thomas took another huge bite because even though the taste was bringing back memories, he was desperate for the food.

Joe went pale white and his expression clouded over. "The fucking bitch. I didn't know, Thomas..."

"I know. 'sokay." Thomas finished off the muffin in record time and then he looked back at Joe. "Joey...am I pathetic?" Thomas' eyes were red from crying, and his fingers curled like claws around the muffin bag. "I just cried over a muffin..."

"No." Joe leaned forward again and he placed his hand on Thomas' stomach. Thomas didn't flinch away, despite the angelically healed burns Amaris had inflicted on him. He wasn't afraid of Joe. "Thomas, you aren't pathetic and you weren't crying over a muffin. You had unspeakable things done to you. I...I can't imagine. And you're crying for what you lost. I have too. But what I haven't lost is you. And I'm grateful for it. Though if you have told me about that muffin thing, I could have at least brought you a blueberry bagel."

Thomas couldn't help but laugh. It was Joe. He was safe with Joe. "I wouldn't mind a bagel actually. God, and a steak..."

"I'm hoping those two are not intended to be eaten together. Or I may fear your husband knocked you up." Joe stood from his chair and he smiled down at his little brother. "And just to prove that you really are safe and here and no one will hurt you again, I am going to go get you a blueberry bagel and a steak. Do you have any other requests?"

"Yeah." Thomas took a deep breath and he let it out slowly. "Don't let me die."

Joe's expression softened and he leaned over to kiss Thomas' head. "Thomas, I will never let that happe-"

Thomas reached this hand out to rest against Joe's stomach. "Do you still feel sick?"

Joe didn't flinch away because it was Thomas' touch and he had nothing to fear from Thomas. "Mmm. I do."

"Are you hungry? I can get you something to eat?"

"No. Not just yet. I think it'll come back up." Joe's words were coming a little easier and his eyesight wasn't quite as bleary. "I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad I'm here too." Thomas had been on the verge of telling Joe that Julian smoked pot, but he decided not to. Joe looked tired and beyond that, he looked relaxed. He would save it for another time. "I'll stay until Jordan comes back."

"Thank you..."

"No problem!" With that, Thomas crawled right into the bed beside Joe and he leaned his head on his brother's shoulder. "Much better."

Joe laughed. "Just don't pull out my catheter.

"Eeeeeuuuwww! I had no plans to do so!" Thomas turned his head to kiss Joe's cheek. "Filth Monster."

"Thanks, Pot."

At that Thomas nearly choked, but thankfully he couldn't die again. Pot. Oy vey. "That's me. The pot. Go back to sleep, Charmer."

"Mmm." And Joe did just that.