Home again, home again (Peter, Thomas, Abby)

[father-peter.livejournal.com]

Peter wanted to go home. He hated being in hospital, and he hadn't been home in a very long time. Abby had been called in to his room and when she arrived, she smiled companionably at him. "Peter, you wanted to talk to me?"

"I want out of here," he said, his voice somewhat desperate. "I can't stay in here anymore, I'm fine."

"Peter..." Abby hesitated. "I'm not convinced you are fine. Razvan said you snapped at him yesterday?" It wasn't like Peter to snap, and he hung his head to show he was suitably ashamed.

"I did... He was-"

"Asking how you were, according to him. Not that I believe every single word the guy says, but he was incredible while you were gone. I think he has less reason to lie than he once did. Is what what he was doing?"

"Yes," Peter replied glumly.

"And why did you snap then?"

"Because I want to go home!" Peter gave her a 'so there' look and he pointed to the IV in his hand. "Do I really need this still. I'm fine. I'll be fine. Aly's cooking and I want to go be with my kids."

"Peter-"

"Abby, please! I'm...I feel like a prisoner, I can't stay here anymore!" Peter was close to tears, and then his eyes widened. "Take the IV out!"

"Peter, calm down!" Abby rushed over to hold his arm down as he tried to remove the IV himself.

"No!" Peter smelled burning rubber. It wasn't often he had warning a vision was about to hit him. Today he did, and he needed Abby to take the IV out of his hand, or he was going to rip it out when he started seizing. "Vision!"

Abby understood then, and she took the IV out of Peter's hand the second his eyes rolled back into his head. His body went rigid and it jerked unnaturally with the force of the vision.

Peter was watching as men in black cloaks hoisted a small girl up onto a cross. They lashed her to it, and her head hung down, hair covering her face obscuring it from view. He couldn't see her, but he could tell she was in terrible pain. As the men stepped back from their handiwork, people crowded around, cheering for their new relic of God's love. The demon's wings drooped at her sides and Peter saw the people fall to their knees, offering prayers up to Heaven-

"-send him home." Abby looked down at Peter, who had somehow managed to shake his pillows right off the bed. Peter looked back up at her, and then Thomas leaned into his vision as well. "Do you think it'd be safe?"

Thomas shrugged at Abby and then he put his hand on Peter's shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Peter's head was pounding and he had been robbed of any energy he had. Still, he looked up at his best friend, hope in his eyes. "Vision. 'mfine. Tell her I'm fine."

"You're bleeding." Thomas grabbed a tissue and he dabbed at the sides of Peter's mouth. Blood was seeping from the corners and when he swallowed, he tasted salt and copper. He had clearly bitten his tongue. Peter relieved Thomas of the tissue, sure that he could dab at his own blood. "It's fine. I want to go home."

"Peter, what was your vision of?" Thomas asked wearily.

"Templar. Just more of the same. I couldn't see the demon or where they were. I'll have another vision. Hopefully at home."

Peter glanced at Abby and then back at his best friend. "Peter...we're worried if we send you home, that you'll drink..." Thomas admitted, though he did so reluctantly.

Peter stared at both of them, but he didn't argue. He would. He was practically gagging for a drink, but that wasn't the only reason why he wanted to go home. He had alcohol stashed away upstairs if he was really that desperate for it. Unless Thomas and Abby had already gotten to his stash. "I just want to get out of here," Peter sighed. He owned the hospital, but that didn't mean he liked being a patient there.

"We understand that, Peter. But you haven't taken the time to really deal with this. You haven't spoken to anyone about what happened to you. You haven't said a word to anyone, and to let you out seems like it would be a little...irresponsible. I'm sorry..." Abby knew Peter could just order her to let him out, as her boss. She also knew he was aware she could overrule him, as a psychiatrist.

Peter took a deep breath and he clenched his fists together, more out of frustration than anger. It hurt and he let go. He couldn't even do that. "You want to know what happened? I was taken from my life and shoved in a hole in the ground where I was treated like I was the most abhorrent and disgusting thing that ever lived. And nothing I said or did made one bit of difference to any of them. They 'proved' I was what they said I was by trying to cut my head off in front of a bunch of people, and then they locked me away from every comfort I have ever known and I sat there. In the dark. In the quiet. For weeks."

Thomas and Abby watched Peter silently, but now that he was talking, they didn't want to interrupt. It didn't matter that it was bourne out of frustration. It only mattered because it was happening. "Part of me wished...wished they would just put me in the work room and get it over with, because that has an end. You repent and it's over. And then they took me there anyway. They interrogated me about Aly. Someone told them she's an angel, and they wanted to know if it was true. I wouldn't say anything, and I wished I was back in my hole in the ground. And then I was and...well...you get the point. Nothing happened to me. I was there and there was nothing.

"And you're looking at me now and it's so strange because I still feel like I have to defend everything I do. Somehow proving I'm not some abomination. I feel like you're not really here. I convinced myself I was alone in the world. It was miserable and hollow and I couldn't even write down what I was feeling so I tried singing it for awhile, but then I didn't have the energy for it." Peter sighed. "I'm tired. I'm old and tired and I've been doing this for too long and I want to go home so I can just get away from every single thing that has made my life into this...whatever it is."

"Peter..." Thomas was quiet, his hand on Peter's knee. "You can't run from your life. And at home? You do happen to have a cast of two angels and several immortal children. And your occasional demon daughter. You can't hide from the supernatural world anymore. We're the people who are going to understand how crappy it is to come back and be expected to suddenly be okay because everyone else is so ready to go back to the way things were. It's easy for everyone else to say. All they have is relief that you're okay, and happiness that you're here again. You have trauma and fear and a lot to work through. I sort of think the best person for you to be around right now is Tasha."

Peter smiled a little then. "Yeah. Does this mean I can go home?"

"Oh, I suppose." Abby moved to kiss Peter's forehead and Peter looked blissfully happy for a moment. "If you drink though, I am going to put you into one of your own treatment rooms and keep you there, in a well-cared for manner, mind you...for as long as it takes for you to stop being an idiot."

Peter looked terrified. "..okay..."

"I'll help you home, Peter." Thomas patted his best friend's shoulder. "And hey? You're not the abomination of anything. You're my little girl. Okay?"

Peter closed his eyes and he laughed breathlessly. "Okay, Thomas. I'm your little girl."

"That's my boy!" Thomas said with a triumphant grin.