He rubbed his eye and went back to staring at the table then. "I don't think you're taking it lightly," he explained. "I just feel like- I don't know, what if I'm never okay? What if I'm just broken forever? I haven't talked to her about it because I- Honestly? I don't feel like I deserve her. Or I feel she deserves better than to be drawn into all my shi- er stuff."