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darker_london2008-11-21 11:12 pm
inside-bedlam.livejournal.com) wrote in darker_london2008-11-21 11:12 pm
Entry tags:
Pretty Little Crazy Girl (Chanah)
"-such pretty eyes. I'd like to have them-"
"-make a nice salad. Crisp pot roast-"
"-never looked at me. Not even once. It was like I didn't exist-"
"-rip you from top to bottom-"
"STOP! PLEASE! I CAN'T-"
"-just want you to see me-"
"-sweet fuck all-"
"-ore that you can ever know. Do you hear me? I love you."
Chanah Adams heard them. She heard them all. Swirling around her in a vortex of pulsing sound that never let up. Never stopped. They screamed in her ears and in her head and she never slept now until they shoved a needle in her arm and granted her the solace of a drugged unconsciousness that kept the voices at bay.
What Chanah couldn't hear, were the voices of the living. She didn't know they were whispering too. Soft, regretful voices detailing how terrible it really was that she would suffer the same condition as her sister Lavannah. Psychotic episodes. Hearing voices to the exclusion of all others. They called it paranoid schizophrenia, though it didn't exactly match the description in the text books. What mental disorder ever did. As long as they could label her something and ship her off to a padded room so they could give themselves a pat on the back for a job well done, who cared? They kept her alive. Kept her from harming herself when she tried to claw the voices out of her head. They whispered about how sad it was and Chanah didn't hear one word.
"Little girl? Please, I need to talk to you-"
"-do you miss me? I miss you. I'm coming back to watch you. Watch you sleep. Don't you want me to watch you sleep?"
"-MY BABY! HELP ME FIND MY BABY!"
"-you're going to pay for that-"
"-I hate you-"
"-disgusting-"
"-piece of-"
"-regretfully-"
"-CAN'T SEE-"
"-move-"
"-fighting-"
"-die-"
"SHUT UP!" Chanah screamed, her hands pressed so firmly against her ears that it hurt. Her own voice was lost to the din. And the voices did not obey. Sobbing, Chanah slammed her head repeatedly against the wall, and her head swam but she was not granted the sweet release of unconsciousness. She was plagued by the fact that she couldn't even hear herself cry.
"-make a nice salad. Crisp pot roast-"
"-never looked at me. Not even once. It was like I didn't exist-"
"-rip you from top to bottom-"
"STOP! PLEASE! I CAN'T-"
"-just want you to see me-"
"-sweet fuck all-"
"-ore that you can ever know. Do you hear me? I love you."
Chanah Adams heard them. She heard them all. Swirling around her in a vortex of pulsing sound that never let up. Never stopped. They screamed in her ears and in her head and she never slept now until they shoved a needle in her arm and granted her the solace of a drugged unconsciousness that kept the voices at bay.
What Chanah couldn't hear, were the voices of the living. She didn't know they were whispering too. Soft, regretful voices detailing how terrible it really was that she would suffer the same condition as her sister Lavannah. Psychotic episodes. Hearing voices to the exclusion of all others. They called it paranoid schizophrenia, though it didn't exactly match the description in the text books. What mental disorder ever did. As long as they could label her something and ship her off to a padded room so they could give themselves a pat on the back for a job well done, who cared? They kept her alive. Kept her from harming herself when she tried to claw the voices out of her head. They whispered about how sad it was and Chanah didn't hear one word.
"Little girl? Please, I need to talk to you-"
"-do you miss me? I miss you. I'm coming back to watch you. Watch you sleep. Don't you want me to watch you sleep?"
"-MY BABY! HELP ME FIND MY BABY!"
"-you're going to pay for that-"
"-I hate you-"
"-disgusting-"
"-piece of-"
"-regretfully-"
"-CAN'T SEE-"
"-move-"
"-fighting-"
"-die-"
"SHUT UP!" Chanah screamed, her hands pressed so firmly against her ears that it hurt. Her own voice was lost to the din. And the voices did not obey. Sobbing, Chanah slammed her head repeatedly against the wall, and her head swam but she was not granted the sweet release of unconsciousness. She was plagued by the fact that she couldn't even hear herself cry.